Melting in gratitude

When I think upon Your goodness;
And Your faithfulness each day
I’m convinced it’s not because I am worthy
To receive the kind of love that You give
But I’m grateful for Your mercy,
And I’m grateful for Your grace…

As I write this, my heart is grateful. Not because of anything I have received or not received, not because of anything I have or don’t have, not because of who I am or who am not but simply because of who God is…and He is more than my words will ever tell and explain. I look back at our walk of faith, reminiscing the far He has brought me and am overwhelmed with tears of joy, my heart wants to literally break down and cry.

When I accepted Christ in my life three years ago, I didn’t have the faintest idea of what I was getting myself into. All I knew is I needed to escape the pain, the bitterness, the endless cycles of addictions, the anguish, lack of an identity, the hopeless helpless feeling of ever being lost and unloved. I knew I had struggled on my own to get my feet on the ground but the more I tried, the deeper the hole I got myself into. The more I tried to cover up what was brewing underneath the smiles, the make up and the bubbliness, the more broken I felt and became inside until I couldn’t put up with it anymore.. I crashed.

Looking back am so grateful I broke down in the hands of a loving Savior who didn’t have anything less but unconditional love to give and more grace and mercy to cover me. The moment you surrender yourself to Christ, I promise you something inside changes at once. Yes, you won’t break free from all your struggles instantly because salvation doesn’t work like Nescafe, instant coffee, lol, but I promise you something changes. It changes because His presence, His spirit comes and dwells in you and in His presence there is fullness of joy.

You’ll feel free from the burdens that used to weigh your heart down, you’ll be at peace within because the Prince of Peace now lives in you. You’ll no longer be condemned by the enemy because the righteousness of Christ covers and speaks for you. I know this because I speak from my experience of that priceless night I invited Him in my life. That night I went home happy and at peace. Nothing had changed on the outside but I had encountered Christ and I was a different girl on the inside.

The journey from that night was simply amazing because I never was alone again, God always walked by my side, holding my hand, together working out my salvation, bringing me to victories over battles I had fought my entire life, covering me in grace whenever I fell  short of His glory, cheering me on when I made baby steps. The beauty of it all was Him teaching me who I was in Him, revealing little by little my identity in Christ and that was so liberating for me. Knowing I no longer had to subscribe to what people thought of me, what the enemy whispered in my ear, what I had grown up believing based on my circumstances and false beliefs. Freedom is knowing you are royalty, your dad is a King and you are an heir to the throne when you’ve been living like a pauper all your life. And I promise you no games in this throne,lol.

Three years ago if someone told me I’d be living my best life, serving God and serving little ones, writing about my walk of faith, I would have smiled and walked away shaking my head like the Thomas I was. I’ve come to believe with all of my mind, heart, body and soul that when God calls us, He already has everything figured out, He already has provided and funded the journey, He already has set destiny helpers along the way…. all He needs from us is to simply trust and obey that He knows the way and He’s leading us home. What this means is some days we won’t always have answers to where the paths lead but His word will always be a lamp to our feet and a light to our paths.

That’s another beauty I’ve come to truly appreciate in Christ.. the freedom of no longer having to worry about what tomorrow holds, anxious about how things will turn out. He is on the wheel, mine is just to listen to His instruction and walk His will, share my fears and worries when they crop up, because to be honest they do crop up, but not allowing those feelings to hold me captive, rather taking those thoughts captive and obedient to Jesus Christ.

How do I know all these? Because every time I’ve trusted and followed God’s leading along a certain path, He has proved to be super faithful and His promises have been fulfilled. When I got saved God placed in my heart the desire to write and share my faith and for a while I kept pushing it aside and settled for journaling in my diary. The more time passed the more the desire grew and kept burning in me until I settled for creating a WordPress blog which I would write posts and never share with a single soul ?

In my mind I figured out I was obeying technically,lol..I did this for one and a half years and looking back I believe God was teaching me the art of discipline, commitment, obedience, testing me to see whether I would still serve Him even if no one was watching. Early last year He called me out and said it was time to upgrade and fully go into the writing ministry and share with the world and thus mywalkoffaith.co.ke was born. This has been one amazing and exciting journey of becoming and blossoming as I continue to grow intimate with Christ. One year down the line and my mind is totally blown away by how God is indeed super faithful. The feedback, the testimonies and stories of how God touched people’s lives through the blog is all God’s doing.

Just to show me that He Is God and can do anything and everything exceedingly abundantly and above my thoughts, the blog got nominated for BAKE (Bloggers Association of Kenya) 2019 awards . What can’t God do? As Christians we are not called to seek the approval of men but this nomination already feels like a small win for me and am truly grateful to God who makes all things possible.

P.S Please head over to https://vote.bakeawards.co.ke/ scroll down to Category 18 Religious or Spirituality Blog, vote for option B- mywalkoffaith.co.ke

I can’t tell what the next three years of my life will be, where He will lead me but am really excited because I know it will be a blast. Am learning to trust and obey. Is it easy? Not at first but gradually as God molds us into the image of Christ, it becomes a lifestyle, through the power of His Holy Spirit. I can’t promise you that your journey will be as mine but it will be worthwhile in the eyes of Christ, it will be beautiful, it will be fulfilling and it will be victorious. Taste and see that indeed He is good. In the meantime, am melting in gratitude.

Imela Papa!!