All Posts By

Njeri Muthuya

Inspiration Motivation

His Story!

1st Friday of the 3rd month and the first blog of the year. Happy New Year!

My prayer is that we are all in good health and high spirits as we embark on the exciting journey that 2025 brings. As we step into this new year, many of us are filled with fresh hopes, dreams, and aspirations for a fruitful, productive, and prosperous year. I am reminded of the promise in 1st Corinthians 2:9 ‘No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no human mind has conceived the things God has prepared for those who love Him.’

It is reassuring to know that God has great plans for us, plans to give us a hope and a future, plans to prosper us and not to harm us. And though most times we may not have a full picture of His plans over our lives, we can rest assured that He is a covenant keeping God and His word that goes out from His mouth will not return to Him empty, but will accomplish what He desires and will achieve the purpose for which He sent it.

If we take God at His word, the responsibility of fulfilling His promise doesn’t not lie with us but with God who made that promise. God is intentional about ensuring our success in all we do according to His will and purpose for our lives. The underlying catch is “According to His will and purpose for our lives”. One of the critical steps to effective prayer is understanding the will of God and praying in agreement with that will because God is only committed to what He has said and He truly honours His word.

His Purpose:

In Jeremiah 1:5, God declares, Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you; before you were born, I sanctified you and ordained you a prophet to the nations. The Psalmist reiterates in Psalm 139 13-16 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful; I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

There is a story God has written about our lives before we even showed up on this earth and He is fully committed to telling that story through our lives, if we let Him. Everything God ordained is first written in a book or scroll in heaven before we are sent on earth to birth it. The day we are born, we immediately begin the process of living out our kingdom purpose as it was written in Heaven in our book. That is why Ephesians 2:10 says for we are His workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

According to a common saying attributed to Mark Twain, “the two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why,” The explanation behind this is simple:

Day you are born marks the beginning of your life journey.

Day you find out why signifies the moment you discover your purpose

Our lives carry a significance. The Lord thought about each one of us and wrote a book about our journey. We have been birthed into the earth so that His word can be made flesh and what was written about us can be fulfilled. Simply put, PURPOSE is what is written in the books of Heaven about us. Living a purposeful life therefore means seeking to birth what was already written in the books. And the beauty of it all, is that God walks with us every step of the way to fulfil His will in our lives. We don’t need to struggle and live aimlessly trying to figure out things on our own. We can fully lean on Him, surrender and let Him unfold His story through us.

Dying to Self:

Most of us, if not all, have an innate sense that we were created for something greater than what we have become, yet we struggle to uncover it. Some spend their lives seeking fulfilment in relationships—through partners, spouses, families, and children—only to find it elusive. Others dedicate themselves to climbing the ladder of career success, chasing dreams and ambitions, only to reach the top and realize the ladder was leaning against the wrong wall all along. True rest is found only in God; without Him, we remain restless. Until we go back to the Creator of all things, we will never come to the full understanding of why He created us. Because after all is said and done, God is our Father and we are all the work of His hands. We are the clay and He is the potter.

John 12:24 Jesus says Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds

When Jesus gave this analogy, He was talking about our lives.  In order for our stories to be told, we, the grains, must fall down to the ground and die or less we cannot produce much fruit. We have to die to our ambitions, our expectations, our goals, our desires, our timelines…we have to surrender to the story God wants to tell through our lives. If we keep holding on to these things, then we will never experience the full potential of what God wants to do. God’s story for us is greater than what we think for our lives. Let’s surrender to it and let Him have His way.

The world thinks that the way to life is to deny yourself nothing. Jesus says the opposite is true. The way to find life is to deny yourself, take up your cross and follow Him “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves, take up their cross, and follow me” (Matthew 16:24). And as you give yourself away, God takes care of your life. God is able to do a lot with little and whatever we give to the Lord, He multiplies it.

Fulfilling What Was Planned:

In 2nd Timothy 1:9 we are urged to fulfil what was planned before time “He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time.

Even before the beginning of time, the purpose and the grace was already ordained for us. Purpose is the story of our lives, what God wrote about us in our books in heaven. Grace is the empowerment to bring it to fulfilment. When we find our purpose, we discover the grace allotted to us to fulfil that purpose. Philippians 2:13 For it is [not your strength, but it is] God who is effectively at work in you, both to will and to work [that is, strengthening, energizing, and creating in you the longing and the ability to fulfil your purpose] for His good pleasure (AMP). God will never guide us where His grace won’t lead us. One key way to recognize our purpose is by identifying areas where we naturally excel and work seamlessly—because where there is purpose, grace abounds.

My Prayer:

Not everyone lives out what was written in their books. We can either choose to discover what was written in the books about us or disregard and go our own way. But ultimately it’s our individual responsibility to discover and fulfil our stories. And that’s my core desire for 2025. That I will no longer live my life aimlessly. Like Paul urges in in 1st Corinthians 9:26 Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. My desire is to run with purpose in every step.

My prayer for 2025 is that I will not just be a visitor but I will dwell at the feet of Jesus. That I will fix my eyes on Him as the author and finisher of my faith. That I will contend with the accuser of brethren until I can fully step into all that is written about me. That I will look unto Him to unveil what is written in my book and I will walk in obedience and humility as we co-labor in telling the story because ultimately, It Is His Story!

And I pray the same for you. May we all surrender to His divine purpose and let Him write our stories His way.

Amen!!

Motivation

Finish It!

2024: The Year of Action! When the year started, I was super excited and super pumped. I promised myself this would be the year of consistency on this platform. I knew this year would be different. I had a content plan and with the help of the Holy Spirit I knew we would be publishing every week. And boy did we start the year with a bang. The first two months were a breeze and I was elated.

Setbacks:

And then no sooner had we started than we stopped….lol.

In March I had every good intention of blogging but I unfortunately got caught up with my job (career) and didn’t manage to balance with my work (life assignment). I was swamped with deadlines, meetings, and last-minute assignments that required my immediate attention. Each day, I found myself working late, trying to ensure everything was perfect. On top of this, I had committed to publishing a new blog post weekly. I had a topic in mind, but finding the time to sit down and write seemed impossible. Every evening, I would open my laptop, determined to write, but exhaustion would take over. I’d stare at the blank screen, my mind too tired to form coherent thoughts. I ended up with several drafts which remain unfinished to date. The frustration of wanting to write but being physically and mentally drained is overwhelming.

You miss one week and feel terrible, vowing to pick up the following week. Then life gets in the way again, or simply put, you allow it to get in the way because you didn’t truly prioritize your goals. A couple more weeks pass, and you start to feel a little less horrible. Eventually, it spirals downward until weeks turn into months, and honestly, the longer you stay away, the less horrible you feel because you’ve succumbed.

But I am eternally grateful to God because the flame never withers or dies out, it is always in there, holding on to the last embers, hope faintly burning on. I like to think of myself as a pencil that draws the world to Christ and I find my purpose in using my skills, my talents and passion to touch lives and make a positive impact everywhere the Lord calls me to. And this blog is home for me and the Holy Spirit. This is where I let go of the reins and He takes over. Many are the times I desire to write about a certain topic and but the minute I pen my very first line which is always “Holy Spirit Talk to Your children”, He takes over and changes the flow completely. And I love it. I wouldn’t have it any other way because when He is leading, the words simply flow like a beautiful melody.

Encouragement:

I want to believe that I am not the only one who starts then stops. I can’t be the only, can I?  lol. Today, I am here to encourage us, let’s finish what we started.

That vlog that you started but then went silent? You can finish it.

That diet you started, hitting the gym and making progress, but then slacked off and eventually stopped? You can go back and finish.

That project you started years ago with zeal and excitement to pursue your dream, but a few disappointments from trusted people slowed down your passion. You’ve pushed it to the back of your mind and moved on with life, but deep down, it still torments you. You can pick it up and finish it.

That program you’ve been wanting to enroll in, after researching and preparing with the course details and fees, but keep holding back because of all the “what ifs”? You can start and finish it

That master’s program you enrolled in, starting off strong, even completing the coursework, but stalling at the thesis for so long that you silently wonder if you’ll ever graduate. You can go back and finish it.

That driving school you enrolled four years ago and your husband makes fun of you that you have two undergraduate degrees. You can go back and finish it.

Are you tired of settling for less in your career and feeling stuck in a small pond? Deep down, you know you deserve more, destined for greatness. It’s time to ignite that spark within, polish your skills, and launch into the job market with renewed determination. You hold the power to elevate your career and pursue the success you truly deserve.

That business name  you registered, excited to finally start building your empire and creating generational wealth for your children’s children… You can go back and get it started.

That business proposal or vision plan that has been sitting in your computer for years, yet the fire within won’t burn out because deep down, you know the Lord has called you into that area. You can go back and finish it.

That broken relationship with your dad, mum, sibling, or family member that wounded you, leading to months and years of silence and deep pain and anguish… with the help of God and His grace, it can be restored for the glory and honor of His name.

The wounds from previous relationships that have left you scarred and hesitant to venture back into the dating world, now overwhelmed with fear, anxiety, and doubt that you’ll ever find love again… God can redeem, restore and make all things beautiful at His own time. Don’t dwell in the place of your mistakes/failures or shortcomings. Surrender to Christ because messes in the hands of a Master are always turned into a beautiful masterpiece.

Moving Forward:

As humans, we are deeply flawed, often finding reasons to start and stop. But by the grace of God we are called to be conquerors and not quitters. This is especially true for believers. We are assured that we can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens us. Even before we were formed in our mother’s womb, God knew us. Before we were born, He set us apart. In Christ Jesus, God made us to do good works, which He planned in advance for us to live our lives doing. He knows the plans He has for us, plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a future. We know in whom we have put our faith in, He is super faithful and we can surrender and trust in His leading for it is God who works in us to will and to act in order to fulfil His good purpose.

So even in the moments we feel a little overwhelmed with life, moments we feel a little derailed from our focus, we can always run back to Him because His grace is sufficient and His power is made perfect in weakness. Paul encourages us that therefore we can boast all the more gladly about our weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on us. God doesn’t need your strength, He has enough of power of His own. Trust in the God of second, third, fourth and even a million chances and rest in the assurance of the unconditional love of our Heavenly Father.

As I look ahead, I am filled with renewed hope and determination. I know that setbacks are part of the journey, but they do not define the destination. The important thing is to rise again, to reignite the passion and purpose that God has placed in my heart. This platform is more than just a blog; it’s a ministry, a calling, a way to reach out and share the love of Christ. I am committed to getting back on track, not through my own strength, but through the guidance and empowerment of the Holy Spirit.

My prayer for you is that you will stand firm in the confidence of your calling. You will prophesy to every dry bone in your life. You will speak life into it. As you do so, may the Sovereign Lord breathe upon every dead area. And as His breath enters, may your dreams, your hope, your passion, and your fire flame back to life in the mighty name of Jesus.

So, here’s to picking up where we left off and to trusting in God’s perfect leading. Let’s be encouraged to keep the faith even when the path seems uncertain. Together, let’s make 2024 truly the year of action, a year of unwavering commitment, and a year of letting the Holy Spirit lead us to where we are predestined to be, for the glory and honor of His name.

Amen!

Inspiration

Talk to Jesus!

It’s a quiet chilled evening and after a long day at work, am catching up with Being Kambua’s podcast. Each episode of this remarkable podcast is not merely a listening experience but a beacon of light for those navigating the intricate path of TTC (trying to conceive), healing from loss, or simply seeking guidance on the journey of parenthood. Kambua’s eloquent and thoughtful interviewing style, coupled with the raw honesty of her guests, transforms each episode into a profound learning opportunity.

In a world where the complexities of maternal health and the challenges of starting a family are often shrouded in silence, Being Kambua’s podcast stands out. It is more than just a podcast; it is a ministry of compassion, education, and empowerment. It serves as a reminder that these conversations, though difficult, are essential for fostering understanding.

This particular episode featuring Shiku Masika is a heartfelt narrative of a decade-long journey encompassing marriage, faith, the struggles of TTC, and the ultimate triumph of adoption and motherhood. Shiku’s unwavering faith and endurance serve as a powerful reminder that miracles can indeed blossom from the most challenging of circumstances. The path to parenthood is often filled with unexpected twists and turns. However, it is through faith and perseverance that we discover the true miracles that await us. And I retire to bed very hopeful, carrying with me the inspiration from Shiku’s journey and the reassurance that amidst life’s trials, there is always the potential for miracles to unfold.

So, you can imagine my shock when I woke up the following morning to find myself suddenly overwhelmed with an intense wave of heavy emotions. It felt as though I was struggling to swim but being dragged down by turbulent waters at sea. I had gone to bed content, only to awaken to a tormented heaviness that was inexplicable, unexpected, and deeply unsettling. I attempted to retrace my steps through the events of the previous day, hoping to identify what might have triggered this sudden onslaught of emotions. Unfortunately, I was unable to pinpoint the exact cause of this emotional turmoil. Especially coming after https://mywalkoffaith.co.ke/embracing-april/ where I stepped into April with a wave of joy, excitement, and eagerness.

With a heavy heart, I reluctantly prepared for work, grappling with the weight of my emotions. I was torn between acknowledging and processing feelings of sadness, yet recognizing the necessity of not allowing them to consume me entirely. If this was me a few years ago, I would have been debating who I need to call to help me think through the situation and get a solution. However, I’m grateful for the growth I’ve experienced through the grace of God, learning to turn to Him in moments of need.

During my commute to work, amidst moments of prayer and meditation, I found it challenging to concentrate as my mind and emotions seemed to be in disarray. The intense sadness and heaviness I felt gave rise to self-destructive thoughts, leading me down a path of harsh self-judgment and condemnation. Suddenly, I found myself dwelling on past mistakes, feeling inadequate and insignificant in the face of my own harsh critique.

I got to work, and my first task is always to engage in devotion, inviting God into the workplace and setting the tone for the day. It’s during this time of prayer that He lead me to Psalm 46:

1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

This verse instantly calmed me down and I smiled because God really knows how to get me. And here He reminded me that I am never alone and never have to feel like am sinking in the boat by myself. He is right there with me, my ever-present help in trouble. He reminded me that in my moment of weakness, I can rely on Him for strength which is perfectly magnified in the moments I feel I am drowning away in my sea of misery. He reminded me that His name is my strong tower and I can run to it any time and be safe as He is my refuge.

2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth gives way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,3 though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.

He reminded me the world I live in will never be devoid of chaos but I need to strive to find the joy of the Lord in the midst of chaos because I have nothing to fear. Simply because I know who I am in Christ and the assurance He has given me. In this world we will have trouble but we should take heart because Christ overcame the world.

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.5 God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. This was such a timely word as I was struggling with my emotions at the very break of day and needed to anchor myself back on His word. He reminded me that if God is for me, who can be against me. He reminded me that the weapons would be forged but He would never allow them to prosper. In the midst of the enemy’s onslaught, bombarding my mind with lies, God was present, guiding me to the truth of His word.

6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; He lifts His voice, the earth melts.

He reminded me that in the middle of chaos, either around me or within me, He still reigns because the earth is the Lord’s and everything in it, the world and all who live in it. Only at His command does the world move. In a noisy world where everyone is screaming for my attention and trying to grasp me away from His hands, He remains sovereign above all and therefore His voice should be my only anchor and lighthouse to lead me home.

7 The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

The Lord reminded me that am never alone even in those moments am feeling utterly helpless and overwhelmed. The devil is always prowling around like a lion seeking to devour BUT He is my shepherd and He never leaves His sheep alone. That when the rain comes falling down, I can always run to Him for shelter because He is my fortress.

8 Come and see what the Lord has done, the desolations he has brought on the earth.9 He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth. He breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the shields with fire.10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

In this beautiful journey of salvation, God reminded me that we each have distinct roles to play. His role is to take the lead, fighting the battles that come our way, while mine is to walk in obedience, allowing Him to guide me and being still as He accomplishes what only He can. My task is simply to trust and obey.

After completing Psalm 46, the cloud of darkness lifted off and I felt a profound peace and a lightness in my heart and spirit. Once again, I could breathe freely, returning to the fountain of joy the Lord welled in me. Despite the enemy’s attempt to steal my joy, the Lord prevailed, and together, we used the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, to emerge victorious.

And am reminded that this is the beauty of coming to God and having real talks with Him. When I gave my life to Christ, I gradually learnt to shift all my venting to God simply because:

  1. I never have to recap the story. God sees all things!
  2. I never feel misunderstood. God intricately knows me!
  3. I never worry about fairness. God is just!
  4. I never fear being ridiculed. God teaches, rebukes and corrects in love and trains me in righteousness.
  5. I never worry about being shamed. God forgives and forgets my transgressions.
  6. I never walk away without a solution. God responds and teaches, corrects, rebukes and trains according to His word.

This is such a freeing way to live because it takes the pressure off myself, off other people and it places it on God who can confidently and comfortably handle it. And P.S He has NEVER FAILED.  As I write this am reminded of the lyrics of a song Talking to Jesus by Elevation Worship:

There’s no wrong way to do it

There’s no bad time to start

It doesn’t have to sound pretty

Just tell Him what’s on your heart

Cause it’s not a religion

It’s more like a friendship

Just talk to your Father

Like you are His kid

Just start talking to Jesus

You can talk to Jesus

Whenever you like

Life will not always be a smooth cruise. We will certainly experience moments we are surfing and having the time of our lives and moments we are hitting sea bottom and struggling to stay afloat. These moments will come whether we like them or not. Some will be triggered by our own doing and some will be slyly orchestrated by the father of all lies, the devil himself. And my prayer for you is that you will walk in wisdom and discernment to understand the seasons of life and above all you will surrender and walk with God as He leads and guides you to your destiny.

It’s okay to open up to our friends, get them to try cheer you up but it’s wrong to place that responsibility and expectation on them. It’s easier to bow down and have a talk with God about your feelings than it is for you to reach out for your phone and try get your friends attention. Because let’s be honest, our friends are not always on our minds and vice versa. But God …He never takes His eyes away from us. He is always ever present and lovingly waiting for us to open up to Him.

So today, as you debate who to tell your problems, talk to the one who already has a solution, your King!

#WhyWorryWhenYouCanPray

#TrustInJesus

#RealTalkWithGod

Inspiration

EMBRACING APRIL!

Happy New Month!

Since stepping into April, a wave of joy, excitement, and eagerness has overwhelmed both my heart and spirit. I find myself singing to everyone I encounter about the sweetness and special aura of this month. There’s something almost tangible yet inexplicable about April. It’s as if the Lord has planted a fountain of joy within me, and I am deeply awed by it. My spirit is buzzing with anticipation for the new thing the Lord is about to do, even though I can’t pinpoint exactly what it is. In a way, I’m grateful I don’t know the precise blueprint of His magnificent plan because it allows me to approach Him with an open mind and heart.

Like a little babe, I know He is my Father and He only has good plans for me, plans to give me a hope and a future, and His plans will never harm me. One of my many favorite memory verses has got to be Luke 12:32 “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the Kingdom”.

Many are the times, in our human nature, we think that God thinks like us lol and we end up boxing Him into the confines of our littleness. We think small. We dream small. We expect small. Simply because we are quite small in comparison to His greatness. I believe the moment believers grasp the beauty of God’s character and nature, we will be catapulted into a realm of walking in power and dominion.

The Bible clearly states in 1 Corinthians 2:9 But as it is written: “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.

I don’t know about you but this always gets me super pumped. Every day as I reflect upon the goodness of God in my life, am always truly humbled. Words will never be enough to describe all that God has done for me. I truly know the feeling of being the lost sheep that the Shepherd tirelessly searches for. All I can say is that I was super lost and super broken BUT He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. I am a living testimony of how a broken piece in the hands of the Master can be transformed to a masterpiece for the glory and honor of His name.

And I can only imagine how much more He has in store for me on this beautiful journey of walking with God as He conforms me to the likeness of Christ. 2024 is the year of exceedingly great rewards and with the dawn of April, my excitement is heightened because I know my God is super faithful.

My prayer as I step into the new month is that:

I will continue to dwell in the shelter of the Most High and rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will continue to love the Lord with all of my heart and with all of my soul and with all of my mind.

I will continue to walk in total obedience to His word.

I will continue to hide His word in my heart that I may not sin against Him.

I will continue to let His word be a lamp for my feet and a light on my path.

I will continue to surrender my life to the Good Shepherd and allow Him to lead me.

As I walk besides Him, I will keep praising Him through it all because that’s how we win these battles.

In the moments when the enemy attacks my mind and tries to whisper his deception, I will only anchor on the voice of God. That I will not quench the Holy Spirit but I will utterly, totally and completely depend on Him to guide me to ALL truths.

As we embrace the new month, let us do so with open hearts and minds. Let us welcome its gifts with gratitude and its lessons with humility. May this month be filled with moments of joy, growth, and blessings.

Above all, may we make the most of each day, living with purpose and intention. The beauty of living purposely is knowing what you were born to do then relentlessly pursuing that path with all of your heart, mind and soul.

So may we surrender our lives to God our creator as only He knows why He created you the way you are and what He predestined you to achieve on this world.

Relationships

Marriage 101: My Journey {Part 2}!

Thank you for the amazing feedback on part 1,to God be the glory and honor. I am excited to continue the monthly series about marriage but first, catch up on part one here {Part 1}

“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial.

To be known and not loved is our greatest fear.

But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God.”

Timothy J. Keller

Searching:

After two years of being hidden away, the Lord impressed upon my heart that it was time and boy wasn’t I excited. I was excited because I knew this time round, I was not stepping out on my own. I knew God was going ahead to lead the way. I was excited because I knew I had fully maximized my single season and I was ready to level up and serve God with one of His sons. I was excited because I knew (or so I thought) that we had dealt with the pain and baggage of the past and I was ready to begin a new journey.

When I got born again, I held the assumption that shortly after my commitment, the Lord would bless me with a partner. Looking back, I realize how entitled I was in that mind-set. However, two years later, I had grown in maturity to understand that this journey was not a sprint but a marathon. What became most important was relishing each moment, savoring every step without haste. I understood the significance of not missing the valuable lessons God intended for me to learn. As the months passed without the arrival of a partner, I wasn’t overly alarmed, but I’d be dishonest if I said there wasn’t a part of me that counted and wondered. Trusting and fully surrendering to God, I learned, is an ongoing, lifelong journey.

There were several men who approached me, and I made it a practice to take these encounters before God in prayer. This became my saving grace, as God consistently responded with a resounding ‘NO!’ Some of these rejections were easier to accept, while others took some convincing, to say the least. I recall one encounter with a man I met on a bus while heading home. Our conversation sparked instantly, and as he was about to alight, he asked for my number, to which I obliged. However, as he got off the bus before me, I immediately prayed, asking God to intervene if this wasn’t His will. By the time I arrived home, the initial excitement had faded, and I knew deep down that it wasn’t meant to be. In the end, it never even began.

Another guy entered the picture when I was in need of technical support while setting up my blog. We were introduced by a friend, and he truly came through for me. After weeks of working closely together, we both sensed there was some chemistry. However, God answered swiftly with a resounding ‘NO,’ and it quickly became history. Then, there was a young pastor whom I met while volunteering at a children’s home. He, too, was serving there, and I couldn’t help but think that this might be it. He was saved, I was saved, and we were both dedicated to serving in the field of children’s ministry

We would often talk about God, attend keshas (overnight prayers) in our respective churches, and it seemed like we were on the same path—or so I believed. One evening, I was at home relaxing when he called, asking if he could come over for a visit. However, it was late, and I was alone, so I declined. His persistence in wanting to come over despite my refusal left me unsettled. Before I allowed myself to become too attached, I prayed earnestly to God, asking Him to reveal the true state of this man’s heart, sensing that something wasn’t quite right.

To my surprise and dismay, I discovered that he was living with another woman and they even had a child together. It was a shocking revelation, but it was clear that God had intervened in showing me the truth

Courting:

After this, I made the decision to halt my active search and instead focus on pursuing God while serving Him, trusting in His timing to bring the right person into my life. True to His promise, God orchestrated the next encounter. By then, my blog was up and running, and I was actively sharing my journey of faith, receiving an overwhelmingly positive response. One day, a close friend who happened to be a colleague approached me with feedback about the blog from her friend. This friend consistently shared positive feedback, eventually expressing an interest in connecting with me directly. After discussing it with my friend, I agreed, viewing it as an extension of my ministry.

However, our initial interaction didn’t go as smoothly as expected. He approached me with the assumption that we had met before, referencing a past encounter at work where he sought my assistance. He praised my professionalism and customer service, though I couldn’t recall the interaction as I was simply doing my job. Additionally, we had crossed paths at various events, but unfortunately, I couldn’t place him. This misunderstanding led to a brief period of awkwardness, during which I went silent for a couple of days.

Turns out he was an ‘inner circle ‘friend to my colleague (and her spouse) so they reached out to me and asked me to go easy on him. Days later, he reached out again and this time I was open to engaging in conversation. From the word go it was a nourishing talk, he challenged me about areas I could step out from my comfort zone and grow further. We kept talking for weeks on phone and our mutual friends decided it was time to up the game. They excitedly arranged a double date out of town in Nakuru, which meant embarking on a roughly 5-hour drive (to and fro), with me as his co-driver. This was our very first meet up and during the journey we talked nonstop, played games and quickly discovered we shared many passions and interests. It was truly refreshing. Upon reaching Nakuru, we enjoyed an amazing lunch and even had the pleasure of meeting his sister, who was genuinely excited to see me. By the time he dropped me home late that night, a friendship had blossomed.

During that period, I was attending Citam Thika Road, but I struggled to find my place in the large congregation. Despite being involved in serving, I still felt like an outsider. On top of that, I had an unrequited crush on someone that didn’t end well, adding to my feelings of being unsettled. I was searching for a way out of this discomfort, and I confided in him about my struggles. He then extended an invitation to his church, Trinity Chapel Ruiru, and after attending a few mid-week services, I began to feel a sense of peace and belonging there. Our routine became leaving work and attending services together, followed by coffee hangouts as we intentionally built our friendship over a couple of months.

One weekend, I had travelled out of town to visit a friend, and he called, his voice heavy with something on his mind. Immediately, I prayed and asked God for guidance. Upon my return, we met for lunch, and after the usual catching up, he expressed that he needed to have a serious conversation. I sat up attentively as he opened up about his feelings for me and his desire to pursue a serious relationship leading to marriage. He also shared details about his past, including having a son while in college and the dynamics with his child’s mother. He made it clear that this was part of the package he came with and asked if I would be comfortable with it.

At that moment, I truly admired his honesty. I had instances in my life where I had also messed up and wasn’t proud of but God had redeemed me so who was I to not extend the grace. I took time to pray and fast about his request and not only did God give me immense peace about pursuing the relationship with him, He gave confirmations via several dreams. I’ll share two in brief. In one dream, I found myself driving in darkness, reaching a crossroad where I was unsure which path to take. He was there as my co-driver, guiding me to safety. In another dream, he was outside the church, engaged in conversation with the pastor who was preparing him to step into the pulpit to minister. I was there beside him, supporting and cheering him on.

After two years of serving God in my singleness and about a year of waiting, God was finally giving me a resounding YES so we officially started our courtship. By then we were attending the same church and same Ecclesia group (home fellowships) where we were fortunate to receive guidance and mentorship from several mature couples who held us accountable.

Fast forward, 6 months down the line, he officially introduced me to his family and an year into courting, we started the journey to the wedding. Our first priority was attending pre-marital counselling classes in church, which proved to be incredibly crucial in establishing the foundation for our marriage. These sessions covered a range of topics, including discussions on our personalities (we discovered we were total opposites ,lol), the reasons why we were choosing to get married, conflict management strategies, handling relationships with in-laws, the concept of submission, financial management within marriage, and the intimacy aspect. It was an intense and eye-opening 10 weeks of preparation, during which we delved deep into these subjects from a Godly perspective to ensure we were well-equipped for the journey ahead.

We had to learn and unlearn values we had grown up with, values we held dear but were not aligned to Christ and it was painful, growth is painful. We were both born again but intentionally courting was demanding because those inner struggles and battles that had not been fully addressed came to the surface. They had to be painfully dealt with. Turns out I wasn’t the perfect Christian I thought I was after two years of a serious singlehood season ?

To those on this journey of courting, this is my prayer for you:

I pray that the relationship will not excite you, drifting you away from God’s presence.

I pray that you will both choose to honor God with your relationship.

I pray that you will allow God to use your partner to refine the areas of your heart and life that still needs pruning.

I pray that you will not run away from His refining fire. That you will remain teachable and with a heart of flesh that is malleable.

I pray that you will not lose your identity in Christ, allowing the relationship to become your new identity.

And above all, I pray that you will keep your heart open to God and He will continue being your number one priority and the center of your relationship.

To wed or not:

Was it an easy journey? The answer to that is a resounding NO. We faced quite a number of hurdles and obstacles. We found ourselves asking, are we on the right path? Do we pursue this or not? Did we hear God right? Do we wed or not?….

 To be continued in part 3!

Inspiration Motivation

Graves of Craving!

The ongoing joke amidst this intense heatwave we’re all enduring is how Nairobi feels more like an oven than a city; you start your day sun-kissed and end it as burnt offerings! ? I know am not the only one who has craved a chilled, refreshing ice-cold drink, perfect for melting away the sweltering heat of Nairobi’s ‘oven. And the funny bit is, once the image of that chilled drink is planted in your mind, you can’t stop thinking about it, it beckons with promises of relief from the relentless sun as we navigate the streets of this sunbaked city.

Isn’t this scenario quite similar to our life experiences whereby you find yourself chasing after the cravings and desires of your heart? I know I have severally if not most of the time and it’s perfectly normal to have desires, after all we are humans. Our souls are made up of the mind, will and emotions. The soul is the heart of feelings, desires, and affections. In the busy rush of our lives, it’s easy to get caught up in the pursuit of our desires. Whether it’s success in our careers, fulfilling relationships, or material possessions, our hearts often yearn for things we believe will bring us happiness and fulfilment.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the rat race of life, relentlessly pursuing one thing or the other, then ultimately end up fatigued, burnt out and unfulfilled. I know this feeling all too well because I’ve been there myself. It turns out the problem was channeling my efforts and energy into the wrong ventures as well as channeling them into the right ventures but at the wrong season. A one year old baby can’t wake up and start running, a five year old child isn’t expected to be a driver and a ten year old isn’t mature for a relationship/marriage…Life works in seasons and phases. No matter how hard we try, when the season isn’t right, chances are high that things won’t work out optimally as they were originally designed to. Ecclesiastes 3:1 there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. Wisdom guides us to walk in discernment, allowing us to differentiate between the seasons.

The Bible is rich with scriptures that talk about the desires of our heart:

Psalms 37 4 Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalms 145 16 You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.

Psalms 145 19 He fulfils the desires of those who fear him; He hears their cry and saves them.

At first glance, these verses might seem to promise that God will grant us whatever we want if we just delight in Him but as Christians we are called to examine the desires of our hearts and align them with God’s will. When we delight ourselves in the Lord, when we cultivate a deep relationship with God, spending time in prayer, studying His Word, and seeking His guidance, our desires begin to shift. A story is told of a young man, an addicted chain smoker, who got born again. Every Sunday, when the pastor asked if anyone had a testimony, he would gladly and boldly stand and share that he had smoked a certain number of cigarettes, much to the chagrin of the elders. But what was amazing is that every week, the number of packets gradually reduced until one day he stood and testified that he had stopped smoking. When we start to desire the things that are close to God’s heart, our desires begin to align with His will.

The book of Numbers 11 tells a chilling experience of unruly desires. Background story: the Lord had delivered the children of Israel from Egypt and they were en route to their promised land. The entire way they kept incessantly mumbling and grumbling about one thing or another. The first complaint, as seen in Exodus 14, arose when they found themselves at the edge of the Red Sea with the Egyptians hot on their heels. It seemed they were caught between a rock and a hard place but God through Moses made a way for them to cross. The second complaint, detailed in Exodus 15:22-25, occurred when they couldn’t find water to drink. Upon arriving at Marah, the water they found was too bitter. Moses cried out to the Lord, who then showed him a log. Moses threw it into the water, miraculously turning the bitter water sweet. The third complaint {Exodus 16} arose when they arrived at the desert of Sin and the whole congregation of the people of Israel grumbled against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness, saying, “Would that we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the meat pots and ate bread to the full, for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger. The Lord heard and rained down bread from heaven.

The story continues, detailing how they persisted in complaining against God and Moses, despite the numerous ways in which God had proven Himself faithful in keeping His promises. In Numbers 11: 1-2 the people complained about their hardships in the hearing of the Lord, and when He heard them His anger was aroused. Then fire from the Lord burned among them and consumed some of the outskirts of the camp. When the people cried out to Moses, he prayed to the Lord and the fire died down. You’d think they would learn their lesson, right? Wrong. Lol. In verse 4, the rabble with them began to crave other food, and again the Israelites started wailing and said, “If only we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost—also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic. But now we have lost our appetite; we never see anything but this manna!”

Moses heard the people of every family wailing at the entrance to their tents and the Lord became exceedingly angry, and responded to Moses “tell the people: ‘Consecrate yourselves in preparation for tomorrow, when you will eat meat. The Lord heard you when you wailed, “If only we had meat to eat! We were better off in Egypt!” Now the Lord will give you meat, and you will eat it.  You will not eat it for just one day, or two days, or five, ten or twenty days, but for a whole month—until it comes out of your nostrils and you loathe it—because you have rejected the Lord, who is among you, and have wailed before Him, saying, “Why did we ever leave Egypt?”

And true to His word, a wind went out from the Lord and drove quail in from the sea. It scattered them up to two cubits deep all around the camp, as far as a day’s walk in any direction. All that day and night and all the next day the people went out and gathered quail. No one gathered less than 1.6 metric tons. Then they spread them out all around the camp but while the meat was still between their teeth and before it could be consumed, the anger of the Lord burned against the people, and He struck them with a severe plague. Therefore the place was named Kibroth Hattaavah, [graves of craving] because there they buried the people who had craved other food.

What a tragic irony, that the very thing for which they cried and lamented became the very source of their downfall. Despite my numerous readings of this chapter, it never fails to send a shiver down my spine. The gravity of the situation is palpable and I find myself compelled to pause and reflect as my heart cries out in prayer.

Oh Lord, we humbly pray for the alignment of our desires and cravings with Your divine will, so that we may walk in obedience to Your commands. Grant us the strength to resist the temptation to covet and desire that which is not ordained for us in each season of our lives. Help us refrain from murmuring and demanding things that ultimately lead to our own misery and spiritual death.

May we always seek Your wisdom, enabling us to recognize Your voice amidst the noise of the world. Grant us the discernment to understand Your will and the seasons of our lives, guiding us to walk in obedience. In those challenging moments where taking up our cross to follow You feels contrary to our natural instincts, teach us to trust in Your goodness. Even when Your plans diverge from our own desires, instill in us the faith to believe that Your intentions for us are always for our ultimate good.

Thank you that Christ set the perfect example of aligning His desires with the Father’s will. In the garden of Gethsemane, facing the weight of the cross, He prayed, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done” Luke 22:42. In this moment of intense human struggle, our Savior submitted His desires to the will of the Father, ultimately bringing salvation to all who believe.

Lord we are grateful for the desires You have placed in our hearts. Help us to align these desires with Your perfect will. Give us the strength to surrender our plans to You, trusting that Your ways are higher than ours. May we delight in You above all else, knowing that as we seek You first, You will give us the desires of our hearts and as we align the desires of our hearts with Your will, we will find a deep sense of peace and fulfilment that the world cannot offer. Our desires will no longer be driven by selfish ambition but by a desire to honor and glorify God in all that we do.

May we not be like the seed that falls among thorns, hearing Your word and letting the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke out the word, rendering us unfruitful. May this seed fall on good soil, that we will hear the word and understand it leading us to produce a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.

Help us Lord that we will not love the world or the things in the world for all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life, is not from the Father but is from the world. Remind us always that the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.

Teach us to rejoice in You always and to give thanks in all circumstances. And Lord when we get overwhelmed with worry and anxiety about anything, remind us that in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, we are called to present our requests to You. For You have promised that Your peace which transcends all understanding, will guard our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus.

Lord teach us to bring our desires before You in prayer and shape them to reflect Your perfect will for our lives. Help us to dive into Your word to understand Your heart so that our desires begin to align with God’s principles. Give us the strength to surrender our will to You, to let go of our plans and embracing Yours, even when it’s uncomfortable or unclear.

Surround us with fellow believers who will encourage and support us on this journey, who will share the struggles and victories with one another, and pray together for God’s will to be done in our lives. Above all, may we continually seek to align our desires with God’s will, finding true joy and fulfilment in You alone, for the glory and honor of Your name. Amen!