The last two months have been a snowball of events and emotions for my family and I. If you read my last post, you’ll understand why. Losing my dad was one tragic blow for us. No one or nothing prepares you to lose your loved one. It just creeps stealthily and hits you in one big blow, you’re left to wonder if you’ll ever survive.
But God is super faithful. He knows that all we go through in life; we are well equipped to handle because He will never allow us to bear burdens we can’t manage (1st Corinthians 10:13). He may let us bend and if we break, He’ll fix us more beautifully and much stronger than we were before. He will never send us out to places His presence and Grace will not cover us.
I don’t know how else am standing strong if it were not for my King. I don’t know how else I get the strength to face each day without totally and utterly depending on my Savior. His word, that The Lord is my rock and fortress (Psalms 18:2) has strongly come alive in my life.
Looking back, all I see is a series of answered prayers and am more than grateful for the pain that has refined my pearls and taught me that God Alone.Only God can fill us wholly. People will try and give their best but if you place your expectations entirely on them, they fail miserably. Which is okay because they are only human. Man can not measure up to what God is. The nights I stayed up crying, afraid to reach out and over burden people, I leaned on God and presented my every whim, fuss and pain.
He never left, not even for a second. He was patient with me, listened to every heart break, watched every tear fall, held me gently in His arms. I stepped into a new level of intimacy with Him. He not only was my King; He became my closest friend. I could tell him anything and we would sit and talk for hours.
I remember there are days, as we were planning the burial, I would wake up so down and I would whisper to Him, I don’t want to deal with this day so please take over. Believe me those are the days everything ran smoothly; I didn’t have to lift a finger to push things. Things fell in place, people stepped in and processes were executed, all I had to do was turn up and watch it all become perfect. Made me realize that we struggle a lot in life only because we allow ourselves to. We want to keep pushing and fighting on our own strength, carry our heavy yokes and burdens then burn out completely. Yet all this time God is ever extending out His able hand to us, yearning for us to reach out and lean on his everlasting arms.
God alone. That’s all I needed. That’s all you need. Everything and everyone at some point in our lives fail but only God alone stands the test of time. And He’s not looking for perfect people to come to him. I was far from it, am still far from it. God works best with empty broken vessels; vessels that are not filled with pride, vanity, vessels that won’t compete to take the glory. Vessels that are in awe of how God still loves them despite their imperfections. Vessels that are willing to be used by the creator for a great and noble cause, all for the glory and honor of God’s name.
Are you willing to let go of the struggle? All you need is to whisper to God, open up your heart to him, He is a breath away, waiting for you to step into His arms. If He did it for me, He can do it for you. Just breathe in, breathe out and let God work & walk with you.