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Njeri Muthuya

Inspiration Motivation

Not Yet Child!

Our second blog post of the month/year and I believe it calls for applause because a win is a win, whether big or small and it should be celebrated lol. I haven’t written in a while but it feels amazing to be back here.

This past week I have been reading and meditating on the book of Luke and despite having read it before, am always in awe of how the Holy Spirit teaches and brings out new revelation each and every time. Indeed the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Hebrews 4:12.

Luke chapter 1 begins by giving us the story of Zechariah and Elizabeth who were both from a priestly lineage and loved the Lord wholeheartedly, devoting their entire lives to serving Him. They were commended as righteous in the sight of God, observing all the Lord’s commands and decrees blamelessly. But they were childless because Elizabeth was not able to conceive, and they were both very old.

Serving God does not equate to a life free of pain, sorrow, trials and tests. To think that God owes you a smooth sailing ride because you are living in obedience to Him is a wrong mind-set that robs from your walk of faith. Every Christian in the salvation journey will undergo the baptism of the sufferings of Christ and this season is inevitable because it has its purpose. Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything James 1:2-4. In the midst of it all, our greatest consolation is that we don’t walk alone because we have the assurance that in the storms, God is with us, watching us, ordering our steps and carrying us. And after we have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called us to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish us” (1 Peter 5:10).

Despite Zechariah and Elizabeth being childless, they never stopped seeking, praying and most importantly they never stopped serving God. As a matter of fact, their long life prayer was answered while Zechariah was in the middle of service. This is such an encouragement to never stop serving and seeking God even in those times when we think/feel we are alone and He is not answering our prayers. Salvation is a beautiful, exhilarating and life changing journey but truth be told it’s not always glitz and glam. It has its hills and valleys moment. Moments you’re on the mountain top celebrating victories and testimonies and answered prayers: the highlights of your walk of faith. Then the other moments when you’re deep in the valleys, drowning in fear, battling unbelief and fighting raging wars within your spirit and your environment.

Moments you’ll pray fervently for certain requests and some will be answered almost immediately with joy and thanksgiving but some will take years and years of still praying, still hoping, still believing and still holding onto the faith. In such moments, we are called to never take our eyes away from Jesus because at His appointed time, He makes all things beautiful. And as rightly put in Habakkuk 2:3 for the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.

And true to God’s word and timing, God answered Zechariah and Elizabeth, “Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to call him John. After hearing God’s word, the answer to their prayers, you would expect that Zechariah’s reaction would be one of joy and pure bliss, elated and over the moon for hearing the words he had literally waited all his life for. But sadly the first words that come from his mouth were filled with doubt and unbelief. Zechariah asked the angel, “How can I be sure of this? I am an old man and my wife is well along in years.” This reminds me the incident in Acts 12: 5-17 when Peter had been arrested to be executed the following day so the believers gathered together to fervently intercede for his release and God intervened and sent an angel to set him free. The first stop he made was at the house where they had gathered to pray for him. When this had dawned on him, he went to the house of Mary the mother of John, also called Mark, where many people had gathered and were praying. 13 Peter knocked at the outer entrance, and a servant named Rhoda came to answer the door. 14 When she recognized Peter’s voice, she was so overjoyed she ran back without opening it and exclaimed, “Peter is at the door!”15 “You’re out of your mind,” they told her. When she kept insisting that it was so, they said, “It must be his angel.”16 But Peter kept on knocking, and when they opened the door and saw him, they were astonished.

Why did they disregard Rhoda’s statement? Why did they think it was his angel? Why were they astonished? I think simply put, they prayed but didn’t have the faith that it would be answered. And that’s how most of us play out in our journey of faith especially in the moments we have prayed continuously for a season but the answer has not been delivered. After a while something in us changes and it starts to feel like we are praying to tick a box but deep down, the doubt has been rooted in our hearts and minds.

The bible is very explicit that whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. Truly I tell you,” Jesus replied, “if you have faith and do not doubt, not only will you do what was done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, ‘Be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ it will happen. 22 If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” There is no room for doubt in a believer’s life because it has its consequences. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. . Oh Lord that you would help our unbelief.

Due to Zechariah’s unbelief, he was muted and was unable to speak until the birth of his child, possibly 9 long months of silence and observing the miracle of God slowly manifesting in front of his eyes. He was only able to speak when he came in agreement with the word of God concerning his testimony as he named his child. Immediately his mouth was opened and his tongue set free, and he began to speak, praising God. All the neighbors were filled with awe, and throughout the hill country of Judea people were talking about all these things. 66 Everyone who heard this wondered about it, asking, “What then is this child going to be?” For the Lord’s hand was with him.

There is no greater honor than God choosing to reveal His glory through His servants who are willing to be used by Him. Sure it doesn’t come easy, the wait will be heart wrenching, the voices of doubt will be screaming out loud and the mocking of the crowds will be heightened. But if you hold still, anchored on God and the credibility of His word which never fails and never returns void, in the end you will come out with such a testimony that will astonish everyone around you.

Trusting in God sometimes looks like foolishness in the eyes of man because He chooses things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And He chooses things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. (1 Corinthians 1:27). Noah looked like a fool when he built the ark and he was mocked and ridiculed but he kept his faith knowing and trusting in who had spoken to him. In the end, all the scoffers and mockers drowned in the very thing they mocked him for. Abraham left his family and all he knew to follow the voice of an unknown God, into an unknown territory and I can imagine how his family members reacted to the news. Even when God told Him that He would make him a father of many nations and that his descendants would be as numerous as the stars, in his old age, he believed the Lord, and it was credited it to him as righteousness.

Zechariah and Elizabeth were old and barren but by the power of God they conceived and gave birth. The Lord did it for them, showed them His favor and took away their disgrace among the people. And in the end, they all had songs to testify and glorify God for the great work He had done through them. Not only were they given a son, but they were given such an extraordinary son 14 He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth, 15 for he will be great in the sight of the Lord. He is never to take wine or other fermented drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit even before he is born. 16 He will bring back many of the people of Israel to the Lord their God. 17 And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the parents to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.”.

John grew, became strong in the Spirit and he lived such a radical life in pursuit of his purpose. He was the voice of one calling in the wilderness nudging people to prepare the way for the Lord. He went into all the country around the Jordan, preaching a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sin and he heralded the Messiah. The people were amazed at his deeds but most importantly, he received the highest accolade when Jesus testified about him as the greatest. Truly I tell you, among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist; yet whoever is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he. Matthew 11:11.

Am here to encourage you beloved, do not doubt God, do not doubt His word and most certainly do not doubt His power and ability. Nothing is impossible with God: if He has said it, He will most definitely do it. Before we were formed in our mother’s wombs, God knew us. All the days ordained for us were written in His book before one of them came to be. God is never late, God is never early; God is always on time: He works in His ordained and appointed time. We are the ones who are always in a hurry when we want it done on our terms in our own timing, then when it doesn’t happen, we cry out there is a delay. But is it ever a delay if from the word go we didn’t know of the exact timing of the occurrence? Who should dictate what entails a delay? Us or the one who creates the time and the timings? I believe until we know the expected time of arrival, then we really can’t tell if there is a delay, that can only be God’s job and we must strive to leave it in His hands.

As I write this am also preaching to myself because severally I have cried to God and lamented at Him for the supposedly delay in answering some prayers, I too like Zechariah and Elizabeth know the pain of waiting to hold a testimony. But our God is so gracious because He knows how to wipe our tears and soothe us even in the waiting season.

And to you who is also waiting, for a job, a promotion, hand in marriage, salvation for your loved ones, healing from the loss of a loved one, breakthroughs in any area…the list is long and endless, this is my prayer for you: May you be found walking in obedience to God and His word. At His appointed time, may your results speak for you, louder than your own voice because there is a sermon only results can preach. May you never tire of laboring in prayer and the word until you get your results. As you wait, may you never live a powerless barren Christian life but may your life command super extraordinary results. In the name of Jesus. Amen!

Inspiration Motivation Second Chances

Still We Rise!

The first blog post of 2023.

                                                                               {A moment of silence}

I remember coming back here last year (https://mywalkoffaith.co.ke/the-return-of-the-prodigal/) and pouring out my heart saying how I felt extremely horrible for ghosting, letting myself, my walk of faith and my readers down. How despite the silence and not blogging for months/years, the flame never withered or died out, it was always in there, holding on to the last embers. Hope faintly burning on that one day we would get back to this ministry and that God would restore us back to penning down what He places in my heart.

                                                                                         {Sigh}

You would think that would have sparked the fire back to the full glory of its glaring blaze, you would think that the hiatus would have churned tonnes and tonnes of blogposts from the many months of absenteeism, you would think that the life experiences in between the months of silence would have overflowed into testimonies poured out here, to the glory and honor of Christ.

                                                                                      {A long sigh, lol}

I remember back in 2016 after I had been saved for a few months and I was burning for Christ. The Zoe life I had started experiencing was truly overwhelming and all I wanted to do was just scream out and share what God was doing. I wanted to tell the world of how amazing God is; how He was gracious enough to save a lil broken girl who was almost giving up on life, how He overlooked all her flaws, shortcomings and her scars & He choose her and restored her. How He shined His light upon her, comforted her of all the pain and baggage she had been carrying around, pain that she had heavily pegged her identity on. How He had bestowed on her a crown of beauty instead of ashes and she was now a living testimony of how a broken piece in the hands of the Master can be transformed to a masterpiece for the glory and honor of His name.

So I started writing and sharing my new found journey, I didn’t know much about blogging, it was a pretty new space that I dived head in and decided to trust not only the process but the God of the process. I started small, on a free site with zero audience but that never deterred the zeal, I knew I was doing what I felt led to do even on the days when the walk of faith had its slippery moments. I didn’t have the full picture of where this would lead or what would become of it, I didn’t have any expectations and even with my audience of one (God), I was just happy and content to have a space where I could pour out my heart and share what I was going through. Looking back, I miss this girl, the girl with the blind crazy childlike faith who didn’t need to wait for a clearer calling but would gladly follow the leading of the Spirit without any hesitations, reservations or interrogations.

In 2018, I got a clearer call that it was time to step into the public and launch an official blog thus https://mywalkoffaith.co.ke/ was born. I remember the excitement like it was yesterday, finally I was sharing my heart with the world and people would get a glimpse of my personal journey in salvation as I strived to follow in the footsteps of Christ. I was allowing Christ to use me as a mouthpiece to voice out what He placed in my spirit, allowing Him to use me as a vessel, to outpour His overwhelming love to His children, to bring healing to broken hearts and give hope to despairing souls. I moved from an audience of one to a platform where hundreds would be reached and impacted for His glory and I loved my ministry because as I was pouring my heart, I was also growing in my faith. I still didn’t have the bigger picture but I was happy to step in obedience and do what I was called to do for that season.

One year down the line, BAKE (Bloggers Association of Kenya) 2019 happened and I was more than humbled to say the least…truly God is amazing and super faithful. Who would have thought that three years down the line in salvation and an year into blogging, this girl would be nominated for a national award under best religious/ spiritual blog, placed in the same category as personalities I’ve grown up looking up to… But God. He qualifies the unqualified. That night I looked back at the journey it had taken to get here and I broke down in tears…years of struggling with anger, bitterness and hurt from a broken childhood that left me messed up. Years of struggling with self-esteem and self-worth, lost in a lack of identity, years of searching for my validation in the arms of the wrong men, a search that left me more hurt, broken and damaged. Years of struggling to believe that my life could be better than the situation I lived in, years of doubt that God would forgive me for my mistakes and that He, in his perfect Holiness could love a sinner like I was.

Only a Father’s pure unconditional love can reach out to the grimy, slimy pits of emptiness and hopelessness, the deep trenches of hurt and brokenness, the dark caves clouded with despair and desperation. Only a Father’s heart can feel the last desperate heartbeats of a child who’s giving up on life and show up just in the nick time. Only a Father’s eyes can see beyond the smiles and the make-up, the facades and appearances we put for people yet deep down we are sinking further into depression. And only a Father’s arms can stretch open wide to receive us in our stained attires, embrace us and give new garments of praise, new identities and make us new creations. What can’t God do?

That was 2019, the fire, the passion, the drive and the zeal was still burning furiously and I was serving the Lord wholeheartedly. Accolades or not, audience of many or one, it didn’t matter because for me the ultimate joy was in the inner work that Christ was doing in me, the scars that He had chosen to use for His glory, the vessel of clay that He had honored to be the evidence of His hand upon my life. The bigger picture and the highest calling was the impact of the blog as a ministry and the number of souls that would be saved for the glory and honor of Christ. So I kept pushing, kept writing, pouring my heart, reaching people globally. Kept churning weekly blog posts and with time it became fortnightly, then monthly then quarterly then gradually I stopped…slow fade!

                                                                                {A longer sigh, lol}

The first few days of ghosting, I felt extremely horrible for letting myself, my audience of one and my walk of faith down, then another couple of weeks down the line I felt a little less horrible and then it spiraled downwards until months turned into an year, years and I honestly no longer felt horrible, I succumbed and just became numb. It’s always a slow gradual fade, you don’t wake up in sin, nope, it’s a gradual progression. It starts small, little, almost harmless and when not nipped in time, when its fed continually, it grows and matures until finally it’s a fully blown out of hand crisis.

When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. James 1:13-15

Despite not writing for eons, I never stopped thinking about it, it was always lingering at the back of my mind like the heart tag of your first love. And it’s not to say I had fallen off the bandwagon of salvation, nope, I was still a church girl, loving the Lord, pursuing Him in my walk of faith, witnessing Him being super faithful in my life and of those around me, celebrating the numerous answered prayers He was fulfilling. The only thing I stopped doing was actively serve in ministry for three years, a season I never anticipated, a season of silence, doubts, regrets and so many emotions in between. I had loved ones who kept querying why I stopped writing and most importantly when I would get back to it and I didn’t have a valid answer to be quite honest. Maybe I stopped walking in obedience in terms of the leading of the Spirit when it came to serving, maybe I learned to rely on my own strength and not flow in His grace thus ended up burned out, maybe God answered some major prayers and I allowed the pleasures and pressures of the blessing to take the top priority and put Him in the passenger’s seat. Maybe it was a season of been hidden in training for manifestations…

I had my moments of deep, gut-wrenching anguish and regret, days where I would sit and think “what ifs”. What would have been had I kept on writing? Serving? How many souls would I have reached? If after one year of blogging I was nominated for awards, where would the journey have taken me? How much I had disappointed God? To this end, was I even deserving of a second chance?

                          For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again, Proverbs 24:16.

Enough is enough. Am done feeling mellow and all sorry for myself, lol. Am getting up from the ashes and jumping back to blogging, back to what I love doing and most importantly back to serving and walking in obedience in this ministry. I am so grateful to God for His never ending mercies and His faithfulness even in my faithlessness. I am so grateful that He never grows weary of picking me up and getting me back on track. I am so grateful that He never grows impatient with this living sacrifice that keeps crawling away from the altar.

Do I know how this will play out? No. Will I start and fall again into silence? I don’t know. Will I be consistent? I know I will try but am such a wretched man like Paul said in Romans 7:15 for what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. What I do know is I am a carrier of the glory of God through Christ Jesus and He never fails so I will anchor myself on Him and Him alone. I know am weak and my weaknesses are perfect for Him.  As Charles Spurgeon once said in a sermon, “God does not need your strength: He has more than enough power of his own. He asks your weakness: He has none of that Himself, and He is longing, therefore, to take your weakness, and use it as the instrument in His own mighty hand. So I will yield my weakness to Him, and receive His strength.

I refuse to continue living thinking I’ve blown God’s will for my life because clearly am not that powerful. Jesus loves taking messes and transforming them into priceless rubies. I don’t have it all together and I can’t wait to tell the world how much of a mess I was/am and show them what the power of God can do, all for His glory and honor.

So let’s get back to blogging and sharing about this amazing journey of faith, this beautiful love story of a girl and her God, shall we?

And if you are out there feeling like you missed out on a certain season or gone through an intense one that almost broke you to the point you have written yourself off, don’t be discouraged. Like John Piper once said, occasionally weep deeply over the life that you hoped would be. Grieve the losses. Feel the pain. Then wash your face, trust God, and embrace the life that He’s given you. Don’t let that season you missed/lived through define you, let God have the final say in your life.

No matter what life throws at us, we refuse to lay down defeated and cowering in shame and pain and guilt, we let it hit us and then STILL WE RISE!!

Inspiration

YES I CALLED

Tis the second Friday of June and our second blog post of the month/year and I believe it calls for applause because a win is a win, whether big or small and it needs to be celebrated lol. I haven’t written in a while but it feels amazing to be back here, as shared in last week’s The Return of the Prodigal. 16 months of silence, yep BUT who is like God our restorer.

I accepted Christ as my personal savior on 26th May 2016 and last month I celebrated 6 years of God’s faithfulness in this beautiful walk of faith. I would never take any credit for this far I have come because I am utterly NOTHING without God. I haven’t played any huge or grandeur role, I have just being a vessel that surrendered and submitted to Christ for Him to use as He pleases. Have I been the most pleasant vessel to work with? ABSOLUTELY NOT. I am so flawed, too flawed, I am broken, I am stubborn, I am strong willed and led to easily disobey; simply put I am a beautiful mess of imperfection. If I didn’t know God, I would pray for Him every day that He gets the strength to work with this girl BUT because I Know Him, I pray to Him every day thanking Him for never quitting on her.

Before I got born again, I had been really struggling to live a righteous life. I knew about God since I had heard of him all throughout my life from childhood. I loved Sunday school, I loved being and serving in church as a young girl, I loved reading and hearing the bible stories of great men, women and even children who were loved by God and whose lives sounded pretty amazing. Stories of Abraham being called by the unseen and into the unknown , Noah building an ark and the rains pouring incessantly, Moses and the burning bush (I have got questions saved up to ask him when we meet in Heaven) and not forgetting little David and his five smooth stones killing a barbaric giant. These were pretty fascinating stories to me and I grew up loving God and wanting to live a life that pleased Him. But it honestly wasn’t easy as ABC. The more I grew up, the harder it became because the “giants” kept growing and morphing into different challenges: from wanting to obey and please my parents in primary to fighting peer pressure and low self-esteem in high school and finally succumbing to the worldly pleasures afterwards.

Throughout the seasons I never stopped believing that God loved me so I kept fighting the battles and I never let go of the hope that one day there would be victory over the flesh and its desires. Looking back now it’s hilarious because I would go to church every Sunday (Yes I rarely missed church, regardless of which hole I was in the previous night) be deeply convicted and ‘give’ my life to Christ then the moment I walked out and stepped back to the norm, I would come crumbling down almost instant. Some Sundays it would be going back to break up with a boyfriend and walking out having ‘made out’ for breaking up then moving on with the relationship lol. Some other Sundays it would be getting back home after the sermon then receiving a “I am out here, come meet me” kind of calls then forgetting all the resolve and jumping back into the bandwagon of drinking and making merry. Like I said, I was a beautiful mess of imperfection.

But I never stopped believing, fighting, hoping and praying to live a life that pleased God even when it spiraled downwards and became so bad and heartbreaking, even when I made terrible decisions, one after another after another until it became a cycle of bad decisions. It always felt like living a double life, on one hand I was totally sucked into this self-centered, self-pleasing self-glorifying and self-gratifying life and on the other hand I was still desperately hoping and fighting to live a righteous life because deep down my heart there was always a strong conviction of God.

The conviction never wavered but kept getting louder and louder every day until one day His voice was the loudest amidst the chaos, the struggles, the brokenness, the lies of the enemy and the depression. It kept getting louder until finally it was only Him and I alone, He saw the broken girl, her mistakes, her terrible decisions, her cries, tears and snort, her scars and wounds. He saw her at her weakest, her lowest, and her breaking point of giving up on life AND HE LOVED HER NONETHELESS.

And for the first time in my life, I felt His pure beautiful unconditional love wash over me, I felt Him lift the burden of sin I had carried all my life alongside the baggage it brought. For the very first time in my life, that night of 26th May 2016 I was redeemed, I was accepted and made new, the dead was buried and I was resurrected with Christ. My mind and body which had hosted oh so many was sanctified into His Holy Temple and I was sealed with the mark of the Holy Spirit and free to start afresh.

If I tell you what Jesus has done for me, you will never be astonished at my never ending praises unto Him. If I tell you where I have been and what I did and what He has done for me, you will never question why am completely in love and in awe of this Savior of mine. I have stared at death with my very own eyes and I have also witnessed the mighty hand of God snatch me away from the enemy’s grasp. I have slept with the enemy in his own bed and I also know what it feels like to lay on my Savior’s bosom, to be held and hidden in His arms. What God has done for me I could never repay Him, I am truly surrendered to Him, my heart belongs to Him, my life I now live for Him because His life was given up for mine.

6 years of living for Christ and it still feels like yesterday when I finally evolved from knowing about God to truly Knowing God because all my life I had heard about Him but it took one night of surrender to encounter Jesus Christ. And am still as in love with Him as I was when we first met. I still feel am yet to fully comprehend the magnitude of His love and His presence, the magnitude of His persona because even to date, there are uncountable instances where, like the Beautiful Lover He is, He keeps me on my toes and He blows my mind. No eye has seen, nor ear heard, not human heart conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him. 1st Corinthians 2:9.

In my 16 months of silence,  I confessed I had my moments of being 100% certain, assured and totally confident in my calling then the other moments where I sunk in a sea of doubt, moments of thinking “ Am I really called? Was I called? Did I hear right or did I call myself?”

Today God affirms me that YES He called me,  I didn’t call myself, I simply couldn’t. All those years in the battlefield, I didn’t sustain myself, He did and I never gave up the fight because He never gave up on me.

I know am called because before I was formed in my mother’s womb, He knew me and He set me apart for the nations. Jeremiah 1:5

I know am called because while I was still a sinner, God sent Christ to die for me Romans 5:8

I know am called because those God foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His son Jesus Christ Romans 8:29

I know am called because it is the will of God that Christ shall lose none of all those God has given to Him John 6:39

I know am called because Christ is able to keep me from stumbling and to present me before His glorious presence without fault and with great Joy Jude 1:24

31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave Him up for us all—how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”[j] 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:31-39

Dear Heavenly Father,

I thank you for reminding me that Yes I am called. I thank you that You know my needs even before I open my mouth to speak and today you have met, exceeded and surpassed my thoughts in deeds. Thank you for re-affirming me that You have a plan and purpose for me, that even in the silence and moments of doubt You will never stop whispering that I am eternally yours. May my life always be pleasing to you as I give myself as a living sacrifice. To you be the glory and honor always and in eternity.

Amen!

Inspiration

THE RETURN OF THE PRODIGAL

1st  of June 2022. Happy new month or should I say Happy New Year because it’s the first blog of 2022 lol but I will suppress that thought because what’s new about the year this far lol. Happy Mid-Year instead. Also part of me wants to ask “Can you believe the last time we were in here blogging was January 2021”??? But nope, I will also suppress that too because it’s pretty obvious that this writer has been ghosting for a while, a pretty long while.

The first few days of ghosting, I felt extremely horrible for letting myself, my walk of faith and my readers down, then another couple of weeks down the line I felt a little less horrible and then it spiraled downwards until months turned into an year and I honestly no longer felt horrible, I succumbed and just became numb.

But the flame never withered or died out, it was always in there, holding on to the last embers, hope faintly burning on that one day we would get back to this ministry, that one day God would restore us back to penning down what He places in my heart, that one day God would still delight in using me as His vessel to speak to His children.

I held on that hope, I clung on it with every fiber in my spirit and I refused to let go. I held on to the hope that we would get back here even in the days of gloom and utter despair, days of doubt and fighting the lies being whispered so loudly in my mind. I had loved ones who would keep querying why I stopped writing and most importantly when I would get back to it. I kept paying for the annual subscriptions to renew my blog even in the moments of pin drop silence.

That was me holding on to this hope. That was me trusting in the God of second, third fourth and even a hundred chances. That was me resting in the assurance of the unconditional love of my Heavenly Father, in the knowledge that He still reigned and He would delight in a broken and contrite spirit. That He would run out to receive the prodigal daughter who had left home indignantly, that He would embrace her, her messes, her scars and wounds and that He would once again clothe her with His glory.

Here we are today, 16 months down the line and we are back to blogging, back to what I love doing and most importantly back to serving and walking in obedience. I am so grateful to God for His never ending mercies and His faithfulness even in my faithlessness. I am so grateful that He never grows weary of picking me up and getting me back on track. I am so grateful that He never gets tired of my brokenness, my weaknesses, my imperfections, that He never grows impatient with this living sacrifice that keeps crawling away from the altar.

I have been saved for 6 years now and I will confess that salvation is a beautiful, exhilarating and life changing journey but truth be told it’s not always glitz and glam. It has its hills and valleys moment. Moments you’re on the mountain top celebrating victories and testimonies and answered prayers: the highlights of your walk of faith. Then the other moments when you’re knee deep in the valleys, drowning in fear, battling unbelief and fighting raging wars within your spirit and your environment.

Moments you’ll pray fervently for certain requests and some will be answered almost immediately with joy and thanksgiving but some will take years and years of still praying, still hoping, still believing and still holding onto the faith. Moments you are 100% certain, assured and totally confident in your calling then the other moments where you are sinking in a sea of doubt, moments of thinking “ Am I really called? Was I called? Did I hear right or did I call myself?”

I’ve still have my fair share of highs and lows: highs that have been incredibly-mind blowing and literally the favour of God shining through and lows have been down right heart-breaking. But in these moments, God remains the same. He knows and sees the end from the beginning so He knows how the story started, how it will end and everything in between. Nothing catches Him by surprise. In all these moments, He remains God and all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

In all these moments am learning that to be rooted in Christ, He ups the walk of faith because He needs us to grow deeper roots that will sustain us, He needs our faith to be strengthened and sometimes that comes through shaking up the foundations. He needs us to walk in the fire and be purified, He needs us to be pruned in the Gardener’s hands so we can be more fruitful. He needs us to camp at His altar continually so that when the tests, the trials, the temptations, the hurdles and the challenges come, they find us in Christ where we are assured of victory.

And you know the best part is coming out victoriously and not looking like what we have been through. Like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego who stepped out of the fire and the high officers, officials, governors, and advisers crowded around them and saw that the fire had not touched them. Not a hair on their heads was singed, and their clothing was not scorched. They didn’t even smell of smoke! Daniel 3:26-27.

I am a witness that God bestows a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. And when He does, we will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. Isaiah 61:3.

Am excited to get back here and I have a lot to share about this amazing journey of faith, this beautiful love story of a girl and her lover: The Lord Jesus Christ and by His grace, we will share the story all for His glory.

Welcome Back Home!!

Inspiration

2021 Prayers!

Day 29 of January, 2021; can you believe that we’ve come to the end of January already yet it feels like just the other day when we crossed over? I am glad to be alive and healthy on such a day, in such a season as this. The year still smells of its newness (for some of us, lol) with goals, dreams, hopes and desires for a fruitful, productive and prosperous year.

Am no different, am still super excited for the New Year. Yes I said it loud and clear, I’m super excited to see what God has in store for me. I am excited for the blessing of a new season after the year 2020 was.

Last year was gruesome on all levels, individually, as a family, as a community and all over the world. Personally I had my mountain high and rock bottom moments all throughout but am so grateful that God held me & carried me through it all and I crossed over 2021 hopeful, confident and assured in His promises, I crossed over in power and authority knowing that God never fails.

My 2021 declaration: This is the year of new birthing & manifestations, the year of divine positioning, divine acceleration and divine fruitfulness. These are my prayers for this year:

  • I will receive my manifestations in the year 2021 in the name of Jesus.
  • I will birth salvation in my family, community and country.
  • I will be aligned to the purposes of God.
  • I will fulfill positive prophecies that are aligned to God’s will.
  • I will be part of God’s remnant.
  • I will not suffer shame or defeat.
  • I will be divinely positioned.
  • I will bear much fruit; I will be fruitful in my area of calling.
  • I will experience the grace of divine fruitfulness.
  • I will live my life as a ministry to point and draw the world to Christ.
  • My relationship with God will take preeminence.
  • The Lord’s perfect will be fulfilled.
  • The pain I have gone through will work for good for God.
  • God will make everything I begin/pursue/put my heart and mind to in 2021 to shoot and grow because of divine speed and divine acceleration, for the glory and honor of His name.

I am confidently stepping out this year, not because of anything I am, far be it from it. I am not the best to ever do it, I’ve been broken, I’ve messed up, been a fool, am wretched but God breathed into my life when He chose me. There are people out here who are wiser, better, more articulate, more beautiful BUT God still chooses me and keeps me alive.  It’s not me. It’s never been me. It’s JUST GOD!

And for this reason am totally sold out to Christ and I don’t mind looking like a fool to the world. I just want to be a bridge between heaven and earth, to make God proud, to please Him and Him alone, to bring glory and honor to Him: not the glory of this world, nope…I want the kind of glory that will have me stand in the presence of my Savior.

These are my prayers for 2021: to be Kingdom focused, to be a Kingdom seeker and chaser and to fulfill the Kingdom of God, by His grace, strength and wisdom. So Cheers to living out loud and large for Christ by all means possible, to manifesting and being who God called us to be.

Amen!

Inspiration

CHOOSING DIFFERENT!

10th October 2020: Such a beautiful sunny Saturday morning, am seated at the balcony, basking & taking in as much sun as I can while enjoying the cool breeze, watching it ruffle the leaves of nearby trees and playing softly in the background is my favorite worship music. Today I’ve woken up (Thank you Jesus) and I am completely overwhelmed at how blessed I am, one of those days you take a deep breath and you don’t remember how tough the last couple of days/weeks/months have been, you don’t remember all the things that went wrong, you don’t remember all those prayers that remain unanswered; no, not today.

Today I woke up and allowed myself to be completely overwhelmed by all the good things that have happened, all the blessings I have, all the prayers that have been answered, all the miracles I’ve watched God perform… today I woke up and decided to soak in the goodness of Christ.

I haven’t blogged in a while and it’s not that I haven’t had time because if I wanted to I would have, it’s simply because I allowed myself to get caught up in the busyness of life and failed to prioritize silencing my mind enough to sit and listen to what God wants me to share. Today I decide that listening to God is my priority.

I haven’t been checking up on my loved ones as much as I should, maybe because I fashioned this comfortable cocoon that simply praying for them and seeing them online most times means they are okay. Today I choose to be intentional in reaching out and letting my love grow from a noun into verb- acting, doing and being present.

I haven’t been consistent in my T.A.G (Time Alone with God), waking up early in the morning to sit at the feet of the Master and order my steps and day according to His will, simply because fighting sleep has been such a mountain, lol. Today I choose to remember that faith as little as a mustard seed is enough to move any mountain and so in faith I commit to devoting the first thirty minutes of my morning to God.

I’ve finished reading the book of Psalms and it’s a bitter sweet moment: sweet because I’ve been consistent in my “Read the Bible in 1 year” goal and bitter because I realize how far I am from wholly adopting a spirit of gratitude and praise and constantly reflecting/meditating on God’s word at ALL TIMES, even in the midst of pain and suffering and attacks (my most profound lesson from the 150 Psalms). Today I choose to:

  1. Focus on the milestones I’ve made this far on this journey and not the long path that lies ahead. #CelebrateSmallWins.
  2. Fix my focus constantly on God and not on my world or the happenings around. I realize it’s so easy to get caught up and be flogged down my life but that happens when I magnify it over God. I choose to remind myself every day that I surrendered my life and the steering wheel to Him and my job is to keep Him at the Centre, allow Him to run the show and to not let my eyes stray away from Him.

Beginning of the year, as one of my traditions, I wrote my goals down, put up my vision board and drafted a game plan but Lord knows I haven’t been as zealous as I should have. Well for starters I was solely focused on planning my wedding, then the pandemic happened, psyche and drive went under, wedding was postponed, then settled for a Covid-19 wedding instead of the dream wedding (I’ll totally write about this someday). Seen a couple of jokes and memes how we shouldn’t count 2020 since the world came to a stop, lol and it would be so easy to blame the virus for unaccomplished goals and dreams. But truth of the matter is:

  1. There is some good that happened in the midst of it all, if you are open to learning.
  2. Despite the circumstances, the power to pursue what we wanted was in our hands and if we didn’t go after it, we only have ourselves to blame, not 2020.

So today I choose to get over my procrastination, dust my goals and dreams and focus on channeling my passion, my drive and all of my energy into the next 82 days and what I can achieve by God’s grace. How? Every day I will wake up and choose to make a small, easy and manageable 1% adjustment to a particular aspect of my life which will result in an 82% improvement at the end of the year. Life is all about the choices we make and I choose differently, I choose that:

  1. I will not be caught up mumbling and grumbling and lamenting about life; I will be more grateful for all I have.
  2. I will not blame circumstances around me when things don’t go right; I will take ownership and be responsible.
  3. I will not allow my priorities to be all mixed up; I will know what matters and live accordingly.
  4. I will not take for granted the people I love; I will be intentional in communicating and being present.
  5. I will not sit on my gifts, skills or talents; I will allow myself to be who God has called me to be and to let my light shine before men that they may see His good works and glorify God.

Prayer for Today

Dear Lord,

Always remind me that my joy comes from you and that I should always rejoice. Let the joy and rest I find in you be manifested in my life as a gentle and quiet spirit.

Always remind me to fight anxiety and worry by presenting my requests to you in prayer and petition with thanksgiving and to trust that You will work all things together for my good.

Always remind me that true peace that guards my heart and mind comes from you and you alone. Teach me to recognize and remain in peace even when my circumstances are anything but peaceful.

Always remind me to set my mind on things above, not on earthly things; whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—to think about such things.

Since that sums up to Jesus perfectly, all I really have to do is fix my eyes on you. Thank you for making it so simple, Lord.

Amen!