In two weeks’ time I’ll turn an year older in my walk of faith. Just the mere thought of it makes me want to jump up and down in excitement. I can’t believe that it’s been twelve months already. Truly all I can say is that God is my Ebenezer and He is faithful in all seasons. He has constantly been my pillar of strength, my rock and fortress. I’ve come to the beautiful realization that without Him, I am completely nothing.
I wonder how I existed before, whose strength was I plugging into? Clearly I was incapable of doing life solo. In retrospection, that explains all the heart break and breakdowns I faced in life. The times when things were not working out and I stretched myself thin to the point of wearing out. The days I would be hit hard by life and because my foundation was weak and shallow I would crumble in despair. Looking back, I can only laugh at my then version of doing life.
It’s true that in life we struggle because we allow ourselves to. We know that we are incapable of handling life challenges on our own yet we stubbornly refuse to let go of the reins of control; refuse to hand it over to Him who can comfortably do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us (Ephesians 3:20) Then we go about life crushed and weathered down wondering what went so wrong.
I’ve learnt a lot in the past one year and I’ve grown immensely as well in my journey. Grown in discipleship, grown in word and prayer, grown in service and ministry and ultimately paving the way in my purpose. It’s been a beautiful journey which I never have to walk alone. My God loves me unconditionally, accepts my perfections wholeheartedly, corrects me gently and molds me slowly to be more Christ-like each and every minute. I can tell you for a fact the moments I am about to step into something nasty or say something wrong and the Spirit nudges me softly to pause and reflect. There are mornings we deliberate on what I’ll wear and He always wins those silent battles. It has ultimately been a 360 degree change in my life.
I’ve never felt love like this before, cliché yes lol but oh so true. If you think you’ve loved, wait till Christ reveals to you what love is and how love looks and feels like. If I was to summarize in one word how this journey has been, I’d settle for freedom. That’s what my salvation means to me. Freedom. Freedom to know who I truly am and to live exceptionally in that truth. Freedom to be the best I can be because Christ strengthens me to step out in greatness. Freedom from daily struggles, from worries and anxiety, from fear, from bondage of addictions; freedom to be me and be all He calls me to be. And trust me, He sees so much in me that I don’t see myself because His faith in me is stronger than my self-belief.
So every day I wake up, plug in to my anchor, then step out and live life large because my daddy owns the whole world and nothing can separate me from His love. (Romans 8:38-39) It’s not always picture perfect, there are days we argue about how things went down and I throw tantrums because I wanted my way. But He always helps me see that all things work out for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose and that His thoughts are way much higher than mine so ultimately His plans are to prosper me and to give me a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11)
I am loved. I am accepted. I am redeemed. I am restored. I am forgiven. I am treasured. I am blessed. And above all, I am assured of a life time in eternity with the lover of my soul. That is my freedom.