All Posts By

Njeri Muthuya

Outreach

POSITIONED FOR IMPACT

Three weeks ago I had the privilege and honor to attend my first mission out of town and my heart is still overwhelmed by God’s goodness and faithfulness. When I sit and reflect on the amazing works He carried out in those days we were in the field, my heart breaks down in worship and total surrender. True to His word, I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good and blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him (Psalms 34: 8)

The first time the mission was announced in church, I was pretty excited owing to the fact that it was going to be my first field encounter and more so because it was a chance to be positioned for impact, our 2018 Theme as CITAM (Christ is the answer ministries) Church. But soon enough the excitement wore off and it turned to worry and anxiety. What would I say? What would I share? Was I ready? Would God use me? How would He use? How would the experience be? I had a gazillion questions running through my mind and the more I wondered the less excited I was about the mission. I knew this was the enemy trying to drown my faith in fear and if I allowed him to, he would steal my joy and chance at pouring myself out to be used of God. I had to fight back the way I knew how.

If you ever feel you are inadequate, worthless or not enough, you didn’t get those ideas from God. I reminded myself who I was and who I belonged to and that He hadn’t brought me this far to let me down. I stood by 2 Corinthians 10:5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. I stood by God’s promises and believed that He would never lead me where His grace wouldn’t cover me and that in all these things He had promised that He would never leave my side.

The night before the travelling date I was up frantically combing through my closet for long dresses, I didn’t let my mum sleep because she was my mirror, approving what was going in the bag or not. After settling on the choice of dresses, we realized that my travelling bag was missing, more of someone had borrowed it but hadn’t returned (life with sisters, lol). I went into a panic mode and thought to myself, “Guess am not supposed to travel after all.” But all this time she was calm and assured me it was going to be alright in the morning. And true to her word when I woke up, there was my travelling bag, she had picked it for me just so that I wouldn’t miss the mission. My heart melted in gratitude and I felt an assurance calm my spirit that all would be well and I was destined to be on that trip. (thanks Ma, if I turn out to be half the mom you are, my kids will be blessed).

On our way to Bomet, a close friend and I were catching up on our walk of faith and the expectations we had of the mission, it was both our first time and a relief to have someone understand the lil butterflies in my stomach. What amazed me most was how God spoke to us both about some things we had been struggling with separately. As we shared our stories, He gave a revelation about our situations and it was mind-blowing to get a breakthrough. Most Christians believe they need to seek out pastors and men of God for their deliverance but I am convinced without doubt that some of the struggles we go through can be healed simply by the power of confessing to each other as stated in James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. I share this from my personal experience, some of the challenges I have overcome by God’s grace have been conquered on my knees with my prayer circle, my group of prayer warriors with whom we can be vulnerable with, pray together, cry out and seek God together. And together we have witnessed God working in our lives for the glory and honor of His name.

The first day out on the field I was a bit nervous truth be told to the extent I vowed I would remain quiet and let the others share but my group would not let me have it. We all need people in our lives who believe in us even when we doubt ourselves, people who can see the treasure in us and are willing to dig out the dirt and expose the gold within. I remember my friends and I approaching a group of young men to share the gospel when I was randomly asked to share a word. Oh how I wished that the ground would open up and swallow me but as soon as I gained courage and opened my mouth to speak, words came flowing from within. It wasn’t like I had planned anything to say but I didn’t lack words to share, at that moment the Holy spirit took over and scriptures came to mind. That was the push I needed to assure me that I was not alone, my Helper and guide was with me and as promised in scripture, Matthew 10:19-20 At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.

From that moment, I was empowered and charged to engage more people and be led where I needed to share the word. Every homestead we went to and every audience we met, God shared the word He wanted His people to receive and it was completely humbling to see the Spirit taking over and touching lives. It was evident from the turnout at the crusades, revivals and medical camp that people were hungry for God and the most beautiful part was being given a chance to witness God fill up His people. Personally it was overwhelming for me to be used as a vessel to outpour God’s love, hope, to lead people to salvation and watch people receive healing.

Above all, I was grateful to pick a few lessons;

  1. God chooses who to use

I thought I had to be saved for a couple of years and have immense experience in the field for God to use me but that was a complete lie. God chooses who to use regardless of our backgrounds or our past. All He ever requires is a willing heart that is ready to be emptied of itself & be filled with God and a teachable spirit. That was my first mission but it didn’t deter God from using me to make a difference in people’s lives, lead them to His kingdom, lay hands on the sick and watch them receive their healing. It was not about me, it was never about me and it will never be about me. It’s all about Christ and the agenda of His kingdom.

Most times believers talk themselves out of their destiny because they constantly focus on themselves, their past, their weaknesses forgetting that when God calls you, He needs you to die to self-daily and focus on Him. It’s never about us and the danger of constantly thinking of ourselves and our inadequacies takes the focus off the power that lies within us that is able to strengthen us to do anything. If God has called you, trust that He will provide and fund for His plans.

  1. The enemy will attack

After two days in the mission I fell totally ill while in the field. We had been on door to door missions and for that particular morning we had camped at the dispensary praying for people and sharing the gospel. It was my first time to lead people to salvation, to witness instant healing and I was feeling humbled and amazingly overwhelmed. That evening before we had a revival meeting, I fell ill. I had a fever, my stomach was upset, my throat was sore, my chest was aching terribly, all my joints were on fire, I was shivering like a leaf. I had so many thoughts run through my mind and it threatened to steal my joy and the testimony I already had. But I thank God He turned it around to His glory because I got to be prayed for, I received my instant healing and I was able to experience the miracle that we had been sharing with people earlier on the day. God was so gracious to let me experience His touch in a special and mighty way.

The enemy’s agenda is to kill, steal and destroy and just because we are saved and working for Christ doesn’t guarantee a trouble free journey. An empowered Christian who knows who they are in Christ poses a bigger threat to the enemy camp because there is nothing the devil fears more than believers knowing the power and authority we have within us. That’s why he fights us hardest in our identity and we end up letting the world and its standards to define us so that we are momentarily blinded to the truth. There is purpose in our pain & suffering and if we allow God to step in, He uses it all to work out for our good, for the glory and honor of His name.

  1. We are called to greatness

My experience at the mission taught me that we are not just called for salvation, we are called for so much more. We are not just saved to go to church every Sunday and attend a weekly fellowship here and there. We are called to be conformed to the image and likeness of Christ, to live our lives like He did, we are called to be impactful and make a difference everywhere we go.

Serving at the mission revealed to me my greatest lesson, that the great commission (Matthew 28:19-20 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”) isn’t just for the select few, it’s for all who have accepted Christ as the Lord and savior. We are called to lead and draw people to Christ regardless of where you are or what you do. That’s our great assignment.

There are 66 books in the bible but there is a 67th one; YOU. Some people will never go to church but they will study you and your life because you are a living letter. What do they see when they look at you??

Motivation

ACE THAT TEST

It’s Friday but we are going to have a little “TBT”; a throwback all the way to our high school days. I know for some of us, this may not be a pleasant memory, depending on where you schooled at, who was your deputy head teacher, what the menu looked like (what’s a high school memory without the food) but this will be good, trust me!

Do you remember what was your most difficult subject? (and no it can’t be all of them, pick one)

Who was your teacher? (if you can’t recall their name then it probably wasn’t your difficult subject)

What was your final grade?

Now imagine if you had to take that exam one more time. You are settled in the exam hall, all set with your stationery and clip board, ready for the paper. The invigilator walks in followed closely by two armed police men. They walk around the hall ensuring that everything is in place, books are kept away, no trace of any irregularities. You know you’ve prepared for the paper the best you could but still there are butterflies swarming and churning in your stomach. That plus the fact that guns are not the friendliest sight on a day your nerves are all over the place.

Once they finish the inspection, the guards assume their position at the end of the hall and the invigilator steps to the front. He reminds you of what is expected and the time the paper will take. By this time the exam paper has been placed on your desk and you’ve whispered your prayers. But just before he lets you start the paper, he says he has an announcement to make so you all look up in anticipation. He opens up a letter from the Ministry of Education and reads out the content.

Your subject teacher has been permitted to be in the exam hall with you and assist you in any way possible. You can ask him anything, he can help you with any question, you two can discuss the paper as you note down the answers, he can remind you what he taught you, he can advise you when he sees you’re writing the wrong answers…he can do anything possible you request to ensure you pass your exam. All you have to do is ask him.

Now if this was the case; would you still struggle in that exam? Would you sit by yourself sweating it out while he stands in the room willing to assist you? Would you let yourself drown? Would you be too proud to ask for help? Would you willingly fail the exam when you knew you had all the chance to ace it? I know I would not hesitate to call him to my side, possibly offer him my seat and let him do the exam for me as I stand and watch him in awe. (I know most of us would)

This is pretty much how our walk of faith is. We are on this journey, most of the times we don’t know where it leads and which paths we are to take so there are chances we will stumble as we find our way. Some of us are too proud to ask for help and we would rather get lost in the endless maze of life. Some of us are blind, we don’t know where we are going but we would rather grope around in the dark by ourselves. Some of us are too scared to make any move so we would rather stagnate in our place tied down by the fear of the great unknown. But some of us have reached to the teacher to guide our steps and lead us to success.

Every believer has a great treasure living within us, the gift of the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 13And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, 14 who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory.) and through Him, God’s love has been poured out into our hearts. (Romans 5:5)

The Holy Spirit is our helper, our teacher, our guide, our counselor as we journey through this life. John 14: 16 “And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever—17 the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. 18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. 26But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

The Holy spirit makes all the difference in living a victorious life and through His power, we don’t need to struggle in our own inadequacies. He gives us daily, hourly and constant victory over the flesh and over sin. On our own, left to ourselves, if we try to take a step in our strength, we are helpless and we fail. It’s no wonder that most believers claim salvation yet still struggle with sin because we have not allowed the Holy Spirit to set us free from the law of sin and death. So we end up living a lie, we wear masks in churches and public spaces but when left alone we are drowning in the guilt and shame of our secret sins, our chains and bondages of addictions.

I know this well because I have been there, I’ve lived the lie, I’ve lifted my hands to praise in the presence of others but when alone I bitterly came crushing down, utterly broken and desperate. I know because I’ve had my fair share of smiling in the public and struggling by myself. But that was before I admitted that on my own I couldn’t hack it, I was a mess and I had failed enough times to know that it was not working and I needed a break through. I needed to tap in the power that lived within me all this time but I was ignorant to acknowledge His presence.

It’s been two years down the line since I truly accepted Christ in my heart and I am living testimony that through the power of the Holy Spirit, we can live victoriously, that we have been set free but it is our choice to walk in the freedom. That in this life, we can ace the test if we walk with the teacher and allow Him to guide us to the destiny that God has set for us.

He is ever present, ever willing and the best part, He is a gentleman; He’ll never force His way. All you have to do is ask Him to help and that will mark the beginning of a beautiful victorious life.

It all boils down to; how bad do you want to ace the test?

Inspiration

PEACE IN STORMS!

Today I woke up angry. Not really angry but snappy. Can we be honest here and admit that there those days you wake up cheery and chirpy like a little birdie then there are these days you wake up on the dark side of the bed. Days when everything seems to be conspiring against you. “Seems” is the word because truth of the fact is this always happens in our minds. Period. We think things. Imagine things. Then imagine those things ganging up against you. Then those things you imagined weigh you down. Then you’re sad and blue and snappy.

You feel like you have all the rage within you, you could turn into a dragon and spit fire all over (too many cartoons). Or you could churn out a whirlwind. And it makes you feel momentarily powerful in the sense that you could raise a storm in seconds. Days you walk around hoping and crossing your fingers today will be the day someone ruffs up your feathers in the slightest way possibly then you would rain all the rage out like the hurricane you feel swirling inside you.

Today was one of those mornings for me and any time I get to this level I always know there’s something I’ve been doing that I shouldn’t have done. Because ultimately you give what you have and you have what you’ve been feeding on. Instinctively I knew I had to pause and reflect on what I had been feeding my spirit. And this was very crucial because most times we chose to react to situations without figuring out the facts behind the emotions. So we end up fighting our symptoms without getting to the root cause of the problem. We end up venting on people, pouring out our bile and scarring them, feeling better for a few seconds but never really facing the real issues at hand. And those issues will continue piling up and sizzling into bigger wounds that we ultimately end up like white washed tombs; beautiful on the outside but on the inside, we are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean.

As I sat and reflected on why I was feeling like a dragon queen, the pieces of the puzzle slowly started falling into place; I had allowed myself to be so filled with the world that there was little room for God. I was choking up from worries and fears, cares of the world, the lure of wealth, and other things happening within and in my environment, it almost felt like I was drowning. That’s why the bible is keen on advising us to “Seek first the Kingdom of God & His righteousness and all these other things will be added to us. Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Who among you by worrying can add a single moment to your life?”

Worrying about all these other things doesn’t make the situation any better. We are to be so filled by God that we don’t have any room for worldly desires and worries. The former leaves you still less, the latter makes you peaceful: peace of mind and heart. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”. (Philippians 4:6-8).

It’s one thing to be in a raging storm alone and to be in a storm with the Master of the  seas and waves. When the tempest is raging, the billows are tossing high, the sky is overshadowed with blackness and no shelter or help is nigh may we all remember;

The winds and the waves shall obey thy will:

Peace, be still.

Whether the wrath of the storm-tossed sea,

Or demons or men or whatever it be,

No waters can swallow the ship where lies

The Master of ocean and earth and skies.

They all shall sweetly obey thy will:

Peace, be still; peace, be still.

 (Master the tempest is raging)

All along I had been feeding my fears and starving my faith. My focus was on the storms outside and not on the one who can sleep during a storm and then wake up and calm it to the glory and honor of His name. I needed to shift my focus back on the solid Rock. It’s one thing to know what to do and a completely different thing to do what you know you should do. How would I get my mind to turn around and focus on God? I had to detox; get rid of all the negativity from my system.

I knew just the secret, at least what always works for me; counting my blessings. There’s this Sunday school rhyme we all loved singing as kids but how often do we listen and apply it in our lives. Count your blessings name them one by one and you’ll be surprised at what the Lord has done. How many times do we actually sit down and meditate on the blessings God has given us, the situations He’s delivered us from, the battles He’s won for us, the miracles He’s performed for us? Or are we always quick to turn to the next page, unknown waters and let the fear drown us without holding safely to the anchor of Christ and rest in the knowledge that if He did it before for us, He will certainly, surely, definitely do it again because He is Able.

I knew what I had to do so I sat down, picked my journal and started listing all my blessings, things I was grateful for.

  • I was grateful for the gift of life; many desired to see the day but didn’t. I wasn’t special, I was blessed.
  • I was grateful for the gift of health; many spent nights in hospital, tossing and turning in pain but I didn’t. I was up, alive and in good health.
  • I was grateful for the gift of family; many had lost loved ones, orphaned, homeless and lonely but I didn’t. I had a family, people who loved me, accepted me, treasured me and always had my back.
  • I was grateful for the gift of provision; many lacked a place to sleep, food to eat, clothes to wear but I didn’t. I had it in abundance.
  • I was grateful for the gift of an income; many had spent years scouting for a job but I was blessed with one that I was happy with, that pushed me, challenged me, made me grow.
  • I was grateful for the gift of a circle of friends. I had an inner circle that covered me, prayed for me, pointed me in the right direction, walked with me, cried with me.
  • I was grateful for the gift of talents and passions. I knew what drives me and makes me happy, what am gifted in and above all a chance to be used a vessel for the glory and honor of God. I wasn’t special, I was blessed.
  • I was grateful for the gift of dreams and callings. I had a fire burning inside of me, dreams pushing me every day to stretch beyond my comfort zone and reach out to the great destiny God had ordained for me.

As I poured out my heart on paper, counting my blessings I felt the burden slowly melt away…the rage and anger was losing its hold on me and instead, a heart of worship and gratitude was filling me up. God had given me so many reasons to smile and be happy, it was such a shame that I had lost sight of what was right in front of me all these time. I was so rich, rich in love, happiness, joy, peace and above all, a heavenly father who loved me and whose delight was in giving me the Kingdom. That was all I needed to walk in faith.

What you focus on will be magnified so focus on the good. For every negative thought/feeling/memory you experience vow to counter it with 5 positive thoughts/feeling/memories and watch the fear melt away in the radiance of your abundant blessings.

Yours truly;

Beautifully broken.

Inspiration

GUILTY? NOT ANYMORE!

The night was cold and chilly. She startled in her sleep when she felt the gentle breeze brush on her skin. Her blanket had fallen off exposing her dewy skin to the ice cold chill. As she carefully squirmed in the warmth of the sheets, trying to grasp at the blankets on the floor, she nudged him on his side.

“Damn it girl! Can’t you do one thing right?” she chided herself.

He lazily turned to her side, managed to open his eye and looked at her. “What time is it?”

“I am sorry, the blanket fell off,” she slowly mumbled as she stared at her feet.

“Again?” he asked.

She could sense the agitation in his voice and silently prayed that he would be too tired for a fight. She couldn’t find her voice so all she did was nod her head.

“Pick it up and get back to sleep” he growled, then turned back to his side.

“Oh, that was new,” she thought to herself, no backlash, no bitter exchange of words.

She picked the blanket as swiftly as she could and coiled herself back to sleep, carefully not to disturb him again. Just as she was about to drift off to sleep, she felt it coming…a sneeze was creeping up on her.

“Oh no, this can’t be happening,” she alarmed.

She thought of quietly sneaking out of bed to go to the washroom but how would she maneuver her way without waking him up again? The more she debated on it, the more it kept on building up until she couldn’t hold it back anymore.

“Aaaaaaatttttchhhooooooo!” she loudly sneezed, her whole body shaking with the intensity

There was a stealth silence for a moment before he begrudgingly turned to her side, fully awake and gave her one of his exasperated looks.

“You okay? He asked.

“Uh-huh” she whispered.

“No you’re not. Come here you poor thing. You’re shivering.” He opened his arms and she slid in his warm embrace. He held her tightly as he mumbled an apology for earlier growling at her. All she could do was smile back and snuggle cozily in his warmth. He bent his head towards her, reaching out for her lips as she closed her eyes, waiting to be found.

No sooner as she could feel his warm breath on her skin, his lips brushing against hers, than the door was violently kicked in and a group of men, clad in hoods and army boots, barged in the room, with torches glaring out in the darkness.

“There she is. I told you we would find her,” one of the men bellowed as he pointed his torch in her face.

“Well, well. And who do we have here?” another man walked forward shining the light on her.

Before she could recollect her thoughts, her partner scurried out of bed, grabbed his clothes on the floor and ran past the two men manning the door. The light was too blinding for her so she covered her face with the white sheet but the man wouldn’t have any of it.

“Now she wants to cover her shame” the man laughed out loud as he painfully jerked her arm out of her covering.

“Oh come on, don’t be shy now. Show us what he was enjoying all night.” as the men broke into laughter.

She could feel the heavy stare of the man by her side, ogling at her nakedness, his breathing intensifying with desire as he smacked his lips with relish.

“This can’t be happening,” she thought to herself. “How did they find her? What would they do to her? Please don’t let them hurt me, not again,” and she began to silently sob to herself as she recalled the last time they pinned her down and forced themselves on her amid her cries.

“Take her out” the man at the door ordered him. At once she was thrown out of bed and they dragged her on the cold floor. She pleaded for a chance to wear her robe but her cries fell on deaf ears. All she could grab was the white sheet and hastily wrapped it around her body as they marched her out of the door. So many thoughts were running through her mind and she couldn’t place her finger on what was happening. It felt like a night mare, one she could wake up from but the man’s rough hand bruising her skin jerked her to reality.

The two men walked ahead in hushed tones and as much as she tried, she couldn’t figure out their words. But gathering from the back street alley they were taking her through, she had this fear in the back of her mind of the dread that was awaiting her. Her little strides were no match to their huge steps and she countlessly fell to the ground in the puddles of water, grazing her knees. Her white sheet was stained with mud.

Sadly, the men did not slow down; they mercilessly kicked her and pushed her back on her feet, dragging her to the fate ahead. She cried till she couldn’t cry any more, the cold had pierced her to her core leaving her numb and she couldn’t feel a thing. As dawn was approaching and after walking for almost an hour, they arrived at the gates of the temple.

“Oh no, not the temple courts, not while am in tatters.” She quickly started to put the pieces together, as her fate stood out clearly to her; stoned to death.

The reality of her fate slowly dawned on her and she bitterly broke down in tears. Most of these men who were accusing her knew her intimately, they had shared a night of passion together but now they stood off righteously pointing fingers and tainting her dignity or what was left of it. She knew their secret desires and fetishes, some had hurt her while at it and to think they stood there polished up, distant from her deeds of shame. The more the memories flashed in her mind and she relived the pain they put their through, the more bitterly she wept in her sea of helplessness. Who would dare speak for the silent battles she fought within, the pain that threatened to strangle her day in day out and her only solace was back in the arms of the men who tortured her? Tortured souls who thrived on tortured pleasure.

So buried was she in her thoughts that she didn’t notice she had been dragged into the courts and thrown at the middle where the Master sat.

Her accusers stepped forward and her case unfolded in His presence.

 “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” (John 8:4-7)

Man one: “She has shamed our women by selling her body to the highest bidder.”

Man two: “Cheap whore” (spits on her)

Man three: “Look at her, exposing her nakedness for all to see.”

As they stood there listing her sins for all to hear, she couldn’t help but bow her head in shame and weep bitterly. Hadn’t she pleaded with them to allow her to wear her robe but they denied her the chance. But now they stood here accusing her of the nakedness. Yet nights ago they had paid her to dance and entertain them with the very body they were now shaming.

Man one: “Not only has she sold her body, she’s committed a crime of murder. She’s had an abortion.”

Man two. (Gives him a puzzled look) “One? So that makes it two abortions.”

Man three. “No no no…”

They look at each other and at once realize they’ve played the same game.

All three: “She’s had three abortions. She deserves to die thrice as painful.” They all exclaimed in unison.

The crowd that had gathered all gasped in surprise and now looked at her with pointed fingers, shaming her of her grievous acts. “How could she” they all whispered to each other. ‘Slut’ was all the mumbles she could hear from the crowd. ‘Stone her’ they shouted.

She fell to the ground and broke down uncontrollably. Watching the people she knew call her names, some of whom were her partners in crime but now turned foes was too painful to witness. She decided it was better to turn a blind eye to their angry stares, eyes filled with rage, baying for her blood. She didn’t want to watch who would be the first to stone her.

As they continued chanting for her blood, the memories of her childhood flooded her mind. She recalled the happy times she shared with her dad, daddy’s little girl…and how all that changed when he turned his back on them and choose alcohol and other women. She recalled how his betrayal left her vulnerable, angry, bitter and on a revenge mission out to hurt any man who crossed her path.

How she went looking for her dad in the wallets of the men, looking for his love in their arms. How her missions turned against her because she was the one hurting, broken, lost and now about to be stoned to death by the very people she sort to hurt. The irony of her life dawned on her; she was the prisoner all along. Imprisoned by her past, her rage, her bad choices and how her victim mentality was the death of her.

“If only I could get a second chance. I would turn around. But it’s too late, am too late to change” she thought to herself and cried out more, her white sheet now drenched in her tears.

“Save me” was all her soul could whisper so gently but amidst the chants and shouts of the crowd, who would hear her? It was useless.

All this time the Master was silent. He was bent on the ground, writing with his finger. They questioned him, and drew up more accusations dragging her past out in the open for all to hear, judge and justify their thirst for her blood. But in all these, He was silent.

The more they questioned Him, He straightened up and said to them, “let he who is without sin be the first to cast the stone.” Then He stooped down and continued writing on the ground.

All came to a still and you could hear a pin drop in the sea of silence that enveloped the courts. Everyone went silent. No one moved a muscle. They were like a deer caught in headlights, guilty and trapped. Seconds ago they were all blaring out her sins but now in the stillness of their conscience, their own sins came to light and one by one, they dropped the stones and quietly walked away, heads bowed in shame, guilt wrapping them so tightly they could barely breathe.

In minutes, all her accusers and the crowd at large had dispersed. She was afraid to raise her head up from the ground lest she came face to face with the pointing look of an accuser but when she did, she was left alone with the Master.

Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

“No one, Sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

She couldn’t believe the twist of events that had just unfolded. The accusers who presented her for judgment had ultimately handed her over to her redemption. The Master himself did not condemn her but instead looked at her with such tender love, looking past her shame and pain…seeing her worth beyond the tatters barely hiding her body. He saw the light in her soul; He saw her dignity even when she thought she had none left. He saw the life in abundance she could live and not the one she currently lived in pain and rage and bitterness. He saw her how she never ever thought she was.

And now that was all that mattered. What He saw. What He thought. What He believed. What He knew. What He saved. That was all she needed to see as well; her worth in His eyes. She woke up, dusted herself, bowed down in gratitude and walked away in that revelation.

******

Romans 8:1-4

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus because through Christ Jesus the law of the Sprit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.

For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering.

And so He condemned sin in sinful man in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the spirit.”

The message of Easter; of a generation lost in their sins, blinded in the lies of the enemy, readily accused by the devil and of a Savior who left His all to come down and suffer, be shamed, be cursed, be stripped, be crucified all so He could save His people, redeem them, restore them, reconcile them back in the arms of their loving Heavenly Father.

And now we, you and I can walk upright, chins lifted high confident of this truth; we are guilty no more!!

To Christ be the Glory!!

Relationships

REFLECTIONS…DATING ADVICE TO MY YOUNGER SELF

I came across this amazing blog https://www.waitinginheels.com while researching on counterfeit men (story for another day, lol) and as I was reading, it got me reflecting on my dating experience and the lessons I have picked along the way. I wish I could say I had more positive experiences to learn from but truth be told, these are more of the mistakes I made, negative experiences I had which ultimately have moulded me into who I am. Perhaps if someone had shared their experiences with me back then, I would have chosen different paths but then again I doubt I would have emerged as beautifully broken as I am now and I wouldn’t have scars to tell a tale of a loving Heavenly Father who redeems, restores and makes all things beautiful at His own time.

So here we go, to my dear younger me…

  1. Looks (alone) don’t matter

I remember my first crush was dark& lovely, with long black hair, gorgeously big brown eyes and boy did he steal my heart. I was totally amused by how everyone thought he was cute and that he had chosen me over all the other girls in the class. Well at least I thought he had, turned out he had chosen three or four of us. Oh yea, and he once took two of us on a double date with his best friend without our knowledge of the conniving game he was playing. Yes, I was young and naïve. Gratefully the truth came out a few months after he broke up with me via text, claiming he didn’t want to hurt me because he was seeing other girls. Turned out I was number 6 on the list, probably because I believed (then) I would wait till marriage. It broke my heart for a few months and after lots of ice cream and girl talk therapy I picked up myself.

Now you’d think I had learned my lesson, right? But nope, still went ahead and dated a couple of guys purely based on their tall dark well-built abs and ended up compromising my standards and terribly breaking my heart.

Lesson learnt: Samuel 16:7 “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

Looks alone don’t matter. Men can look like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. I have learnt to always ask God to reveal to me the heart of any man who approaches me because only He can guide me on what only He can see.

  1. Date with a purpose

For a very long time, up until I gave my life to Christ, I only dated for fun, to pass time, kill the boredom and loneliness, fight the cold and enjoy dates & treats. I casually swayed in and out of relationships and wish I could say that all I got were a few scraps and grazes but that would be a lie. I ended up with a broken heart, broken esteem and messed up self-image.

Lesson learnt: Proverbs 4:23. Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Treat what is valuable as valuable. Your heart is not a plate of pie that you easily give out to whoever wants a piece. Date when you are ready, when you are an asset, when you can add value to your partner and can walk together on a mission that brings glory to God.

  1. Sex is a blind fold

I have friends who confess that they know the man they are dating is wrong for them but the sex is so good they don’t have the strength to leave. And I know exactly what they mean because once upon a time, that was me. Sex blinds you completely, you don’t see their flaws, the red flags, the guilt traps, the damage the toxic relationship is causing. All you thrive in is the intensity of the couple of minutes’ pleasure which leaves you high, dry and in need of that constant ecstasy so you go back for more and more…it becomes a chain of addictions.

Lesson learnt: 1st Corinthians 6:19-20 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honour God with your bodies

I should honor God with my body and I should value myself as the temple of the most High, a precious priceless possession worth the sacrifice of Christ on the cross. And by offering my body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, that is the true and proper worship. (Romans 12:1)

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

There is nothing wrong with sex, it is a beautiful gift from God. Matter of fact, it is a very powerful tool that is best used within a controlled vessel called marriage. If you let lose volumes of water, it floods and wreaks havoc. If the same volume is contained in a dam, it produces electricity enough to power a whole city. The power lies within the limits.

  1. There is no rush

I don’t know why I felt the need of having a boyfriend when I was in my teens. Let’s blame it on the peer pressure, lol. But there was this burning urge/fear that I was missing out on dating so I said yes to the cute guy to ensure I had letters to show my girlfriends at tea breaks. Then after high school when all my friends had already shared their first kiss, I felt left out so once again I made sure I had something to share.

I don’t know why back then I couldn’t come up with something smart to share, other than kisses from boys, I don’t know, maybe like ten books you should read before you are twenty or ten lucrative careers to look out for.

Lesson learnt: Ecclesiastes 3;1-11 There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens.

Don’t be deceived that there is ticking clock somewhere counting the seconds. It’s all in your mind. Be confident in following God’s time plan for your life.

  1. Don’t compromise, know your worth and build your foundation

If you don’t know what you stand for then you fall for anything. If you get in a relationship without your values then you naturally adapt to the person you are with, good or bad. This is perhaps the most fundamental lesson I gracefully learnt. I can count the number of relationships I got into just to please the person I was with. And because I didn’t have set standards, I allowed the other person to set the boundaries and dictate the road we travelled. Well, that was the grand entry of heartbreak and damages. By the time I got out of that relationship, I didn’t know who I was anymore and instead of taking time to figure out my mess, I plunged deep into another series of flings. It was like I felt I needed to hit rock bottom to be jerked back to reality. And yep, it wasn’t a beautiful sight.

But thank God for His mercies and loving kindness. The God who provides for those who grieve in Zion– to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendour. (Isaiah 61:3)

Lesson Learnt: Find your identity and let that become your defining compass. God is your creator and only He knows why He created you the way you are. He placed in each one of us a deep hollow that only He can fill up in an intimate relationship with us. It’s only wise to go back to Him for the revelation of your identity. So many times we try filling that void with people, pleasures, riches and wealth but it is all vanity.

  1. Thrive in singleness

Once I gave my life to Christ I thought to myself, ‘well, we are done now. I mean, am here, I know myself, where is the man you promised? I viewed God as the giver of good gifts and was completely blinded to the fact that I already had the best gift He could give me; the gift of life and life in abundance, the gift of an eternity with Him. All I wanted was the blessings and not the one who bestowed the blessings. I didn’t think I had to wait, to grow in my walk of faith, to discover who I was, to open up and heal from all the wounds and baggage I had from my past. I thought I had an automatic pass to a dream man.

Truth be told if that man had come immediately, I would have been distracted from walking with God, I would hurt a good man because I myself was hurting from my past, I would idolize the man because he would take all the glory of the restoration process from God.

Lesson learnt; my singleness is not just a waiting season, it’s a growing season and a learning season. It’s a season of growing my intimacy with Christ, learning from the Master and replicating His life to others here on earth. It’s a season of discovering my purpose and the mission God predestined for me, discovering my gifts and talents that I can use in His field to draw others to God. It’s season of embracing who I am in Christ and letting that truth radiate to the world like the light that I am.

Matthew 5:14-16 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

****

In retrospect, I am not my mistakes but I am better, wiser, stronger because of those mistakes. And messes in the hands of a Master are always turned into a beautiful masterpiece, as He promised in His word; Ecclesiastes 3:11 Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time.

If you could write a letter to your younger self, what dating lessons would you share? How have the choices you’ve made helped or distracted you from your relationship with Christ?

Inspiration

NO, THANKS.

I love cooking, always have ever since I was a little girl. From playing childhood games, pretending to be mom and cooking mud food to actually sneaking in the kitchen when mum was at work to try and make pancakes that ended up in the dustbin because they were not well cooked (haven’t we all done that at some point.) Let’s just say passion for cooking goes way back.

Now I won’t stand and claim that am the best chef (even the bible says we should always humble ourselves and wait for God to elevate us, lol) but I can attest that I cook from my heart and nothing excites me more than trying out new recipes. On that same degree, nothing irritates me more than preparing food for someone who won’t let you cook it your way. People who keep flooding you with instructions on what to do and how to do and why to do it. People who won’t just sit pretty and wait to be surprised. People who’ll claim they want to eat your food but end up over instructing you and eventually take over the cooking.

The other day I was making pork chops for my family and someone (not mentioning names) almost tried getting in the way of my recipe. I remember slowly getting agitated and as I tried to shake it off the Holy Spirit gently whispered to me “Isn’t this how it always appears when we try to help God in His work?” I instantly froze and felt all the pettiness melt away. The reality of that truth slowly dawned on me as I flashed back and replayed all the scenes in my life when I had done the exact same thing, only this time I was doing it to God. All the prayers I make instructing God just exactly how I want Him to answer them and when He should answer them. And boy haven’t I done that one too many times.

Most recently the request I was making about the kind of husband I think I need. Yes, “think” because let’s be honest, we don’t know what we will need in a man five years to come so we only settle for what we feel we need (most likely want) at the moment. But God knows our lives from the end and only He can tell where, what and who we will be in the next five years. So isn’t it wise to only let Him guide, direct and order our steps? Despite recognizing this fact, it’s funny how we always want to step in and help God choose our spouse. We come to him with our own list & specifications and if we are honest with ourselves, most of those desires are often outside God’s will for us. We forget that God supplies where He calls us to and He only funds His ideas. God makes provision grow wherever He is. If we go and position ourselves to provide for what God has called us to do, then it’s not Him.

The other day I shared my ‘ wish list’ with my close friend and her response was it seemed I was asking God for clay so I could create my own man, lol. Now, it’s not wrong to pray and share our dreams and desires with God, after all He has promised that if we take delight in Him, He will give us the desires of our hearts. (Psalms 37:4) But the bible also says that even before we ask, He knows what we need and knows the plans He has for us, plans to prosper us and not harm us, plans to give us a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11). And He is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to the power that is at work within. (Ephesians 3:20)

So it goes back to us; to decide to trust in His word and promises and let Him work it out all for our good. To believe that He hears us when we pray and He is always ready to fulfill His good, perfect and pleasing will in our lives if we let Him. Mostly above all, that He is very capable of doing it on His own so no, thanks, He doesn’t need our help, He needs our obedience. Same way the chef doesn’t need help in making your order, all he needs is your patience as he whips out your meal. And in the end our patience will be rewarded when our prayers are answered and we get to taste and see that the Lord is good.

I don’t know what you are trusting God for in your life, maybe it’s that job, or healing, or a breakthrough in some area, or a relationship… the list is endless. Some of your prayers you can’t even share with people, you can only cry out your heart. But rest in this, God knows your heart, He knows you intimately, even the hairs of your head are all numbered (Matthew 10:30). God knows all your desires, your wants and above all your needs. He knows what will work best for you because you are His best prized creation, so much so He made you in His image and likeness. And before you were formed, He already had this magnificent plan for your life.

All He now requires from you is that you trust Him with your life and walk in obedience the path He sets before you. And I am confident of this, that you shall see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. It may tarry but wait on the Lord, be strong and take heart. He is not a man that He will lie so is His word that goes out from His mouth. It will not return to Him empty but will accomplish what He desires and achieve the purpose for which He sent it.

So Trust & Obey & Hold on to His promises.