Daddy….
2018 has been real, lol. We have had our ups and downs but through it all, You’ve carried me gracefully till the end. I am amazed at Your faithfulness and Your unconditional love. Now I believe that nothing can separate me from Your love, not my flaws, not my fears, not my doubts, not my shortcomings, not my failures or my stubbornness, not my ingratitude. Absolutely nothing. I must admit it’s a beautiful place to be, a place I am unafraid of You and our relationship, a perfect place to be; there is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1st John 4:18.
I no longer have to hide or run away from You when I fail or fall because I know You’ll pick me up when I confess, because I fully believe that You are faithful and just, that You will forgive my sins and cleanse me from all unrighteousness. I no longer have to be ashamed or feel condemned because am in You and there is therefore now no condemnation.
I have had time to reflect on this year 2018 reflections and there are infinite blessings You’ve showered on me. Some I didn’t even expect but oh well, what catches You by surprise, right, lol …indeed Your thoughts are way higher than mine. I want this prayer to be about the things I’d like You to do for me in 2019, a part of me really wants to give You a list, and that’s me been honest with You. A list full of desires I have, wants and wishes, at the risk of sounding selfish because it’s all about me.
One thing I’ve come to learn and believe as we journey together in our walk of faith is that even before I ask, You already know what I need. You are working things, all things together for my good ,You are intentional and ultimately Your plans for me are good, are perfect and pleasing. It has taken us some fighting to get to this place, times I wanted to snatch the reign of control away from You, times I stomped out and rebelled out of Your way and will but am at peace and glad we have come to this place where I have grown to trust in You with the unknown.
I am not worried about 2019. I know it will work out exactly the way You have purposed it to but I must confess am having a lil concern. No its not You, it possibly can’t be You, lol, I know You are faithful to keep Your end of the deal. It’s me. Am afraid my heart is not at the right place, am afraid am not yet broken completely before You. I know there are bigger plans and bigger goals You are lining up for me but am afraid that when You open those doors, will I still be faithful to You? When You answer those prayers I’ve secretly said all these years, will I still keep You in the picture? When You give me bigger platforms to stand on, will I still give You back all the glory or will my head swell a little in pride? Will my life still be an audience of one, You and me, or will I seek to please people and conform to the world? Will I still seek You with all of my heart? Will I still worship You in truth and spirit?
Let’s be honest, it’s easy to walk with You when I have nothing, but when You give me everything, will I still place You at the centre and confess that You are my all? These thoughts and questions scare me Daddy. I don’t want to ever be separated from You and I don’t know if I should be having these thoughts in the first place, I just want to be vulnerable with You.
I know Your word says that You are able to keep me from falling, and to present me faultless before the presence of Your glory with exceeding joy Jude 24 and I also know that You are faithful to complete the good work You have began in me. But my sincere prayer for 2019 is that Daddy please work on my heart. I don’t want to live for me but for You. I don’t want to take any credit for what happens in my life, I don’t want people to look at me and see me, I want them to see You. I want all the glory to go back to You. I want none of me and all of You. I don’t want to make a single move without Your approval. I don’t want to step out without asking You how You feel or what You have to say about that move.
Nothing expresses what am feeling more beautifully than this song, You Covered me by Dr. R. A. Vernon
I don’t wanna sing the latest song,
I don’t want to percolate the crowd,
I just wanna make You smile,
I don’t care who thinks I’m right or wrong,
I don’t care who tries to calm me down,
I just wanna praise You now.
You covered me in the midst of it all,
You love me, gave me another chance,
You saw my needs when others saw my faults,
You forgave me.
I don’t have to listen for my name,
They don’t have to walk me down the aisle,
I just wanna make You proud,
Should I make the hall of fame,
Or they save a special seat,
I just hope that You’ll be pleased.
So in my life, in my life be glorified,
(Be glorified, be glorified)
So in my life, in my life,
(Be glorified, be glorified)
You get the glory,
You get the praise,
You take the honor,
I just want to say ,
Thank You Jesus.
Thank You Lord,
For everything You will do,
For Your grace and Your mercy thank You Jesus,
I have a grateful heart and I’m saying thank You.
This song breaks me into tears and it’s my utmost prayer. When all is said and done, may it be said of me that I loved You more than anything and I spent my life walking with You and letting others see Your love and light through me.
May I always be submitted to your will.
May I never forget am the clay and You are the potter, You decide how I turn out to be.
May I not be distracted by the things of the world, by life’s worries, pleasures and riches such that the word I have hidden in my heart is choked up.
May I never stop seeking you,
May I never stop growing in you.
May I never glorify anything or anyone above you.
If that’s all I get for 2019, I have everything I need because I’ll have You.
Lord thank You for everything You have done, everything You are doing and everything You are going to do. In the name of Jesus I pray with much love and thanksgiving….
Amen.
