TESTIMONY

Have you ever had one of those bitter sweet moments where on one side you want to jump up and down in jubilation but on the other hand there’s a loss and you can’t help but feel miserable? If I was asked to describe the month of May for me, that’s exactly how I would nail it… My bitter sweet month.

Bitter because it’s the month I lost someone very close and special to me, my first love, my all-time fave hero, my dad. Last week was his first anniversary since he rested and I’ll confess it was heartbreaking. You never get over the loss; you learn how to live with it. Does it get better with time? You learn how to live missing them, remembering all the memories you shared, you learn how to allow yourself to cry when it hurts and smile when you remember the good times. You hear songs they loved and you smile but still feel your heart grow heavy. You hear someone laugh like them and you brighten up and tear down at the same time. I’ve learnt to be patient with myself, grief at my own pace and above all lean heavily on God because true to His word, He has been my ultimate comforter.

Truth be told, no one can be there for you as much as Christ because eventually everyone moves on with their lives, they stop asking how you are, they see you smile and laugh and know you’ve moved on as well. But God never leaves and He never tires hearing your confessions of how much it hurts, He’ll never question your silent cries. He holds you in a warm embrace that comforts you and somehow you know it is well.

He is the reason why May is my sweetest month because two years ago on 26.05.2016, I surrendered my life to Him and accepted Him as my personal Lord and savior. I remember that Thursday night so vividly, can’t really forget when your life took a turnaround for the best. I was in a service crying my heart out because I felt my life had spiraled far out of my control and I was losing my mind. A few minutes before the service I was at a clinic getting a pregnancy and HIV test because I had totally messed up that weekend. And it wasn’t the first time I had messed up, it had grown to be a cycle of one mess after the other.

All this time I was still going to church, praising, serving… I was living a double standard life and it was slowly killing me inside. I didn’t have the courage to tell anyone my struggles because they thought I had everything figured out. It wasn’t until I reached out and opened up to my close friend that I was able to finally exhale and let someone else in. I remember texting her that Saturday night at almost midnight and saying ‘I’ve messed up big time’. She called immediately and amidst my cries I opened up, uncovered my shame and confessed my struggles.

She didn’t judge me, she didn’t condemn, she covered me with love. She prayed for me and started walking with me on this restoration journey. She took me to the clinic for the tests then took me to that service. And it was there, in my pain, my brokenness, my anguish, regret that I found the love of Christ and I surrendered my life to Him. Two years down the line and my goodness, God has been absolutely faithful and amazing. Life with Jesus is lit, lol. Burdens are lifted, chains are broken, sins are forgiven and forgotten, hearts are mended, peace is freely given, love is poured so overwhelmingly, lives are truly and totally transformed for the glory and honor of His name.

I can’t take any credit for the woman I am today, it has taken the hand of God to mold me into who He destined me to be and frankly, the journey of becoming is exciting. It’s giving your life as a blank canvas and watching the mastermind of the universe paint a master piece out of your broken pieces, the rubbles you thought could never amount to anything. Am in total awe at how far God has brought me, it has been a shower of testimonies and am exuberant about where He is taking me.

So that’s how May has been for me. A story of a love lost and the comfort thereafter and a story of a love found and overcoming henceforth and to eternity. I hope you can look back at how the month, 2018 so far and your life has been for you and pick lessons and testimonies of how faithful God has been. Am convinced beyond any doubt that if you reflect back, you’ll never lack blessings to be grateful for. 

June is a few days away, yaaaay, lol and it’s going to be a thanksgiving month where we’ll share stories of how God has given people second chances at life and how their stories have turned around for best, all for the glory and honor of His name. If you have a story, an experience or a testimony you would like to share, anything that God has done for you (will be anonymous if it makes you comfortable), please feel free to contact me. There are many people going through the path you’ve come from and am convicted that it would encourage them to keep walking because in the end, we all overcome so touch a heart, make a difference, hold a hand and above all, shine your light bright and lead them home.