16th February 2024. Today is just one of those days you feel meeh! You know you are okay and nothing is wrong but yet you don’t feel okay and you really can’t pinpoint why you are feeling so. You feel like your feelings are all over you and you can’t wash them away, lol. You reflect back and you have had a pretty good week and achieved your goals at work in spite of the challenging factors outside your control. You think to yourself, maybe you have strained and your body is hinting at burn out because after all you were on sick off the entire previous week {explains why I didn’t publish a blog post}. So you decide that a good rest is what you need over the weekend, just sleep in and let your mind, soul and body breathe. Probably throw in some comfort food so the stomach feels included in the self-love plan. Then you start to feel lighter at the thought of this.
If only life was this simple to figure out, like this is what is happening and this is what I need to do to get these results so you go ahead and do it and voila, you get the exact expected results. Simple, right?. But we both know it’s not as easy as A, B, C…well at least not all the times. Some days you just can’t seem to figure things out. You have done your part and yet things are not falling in place. How do you explain the days when you’re burning with zeal and passion to pursue all you intend, and then other days when you’re burning out? How do you explain the stark contrast between the promises of God and your current circumstances? I know how frustrating this place can be and I empathize more with unbelievers because who do you turn to when you get here?
I am glad that in these moments I can turn to God for solace, for comfort, for wisdom and guidance and above all for light in the darkness. I am glad He is always there, always ready to embrace me and hold my hand through the maze called life and He gladly teaches me and orders my steps. I am glad that even when I can’t see what lies ahead, I know the one who holds tomorrow and He has assured me that He has gone ahead of me to prepare the way and that He is walking with me every step of the day.
Reading the bible greatly encourages me in such moments because Romans 15:4 states “For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope”.
It is encouraging to know that some, if not most of the great men and women in the bible, went through these moments as well. I think of Abraham, promised that he would be blessed, made a great nation and that all people on earth would be blessed through him. God promised him that his offspring would be like the dust of the earth, so that if anyone could count the dust, then his offspring could be counted. Yet he waited 25 years for his son. I wonder what was going through his mind those 24 years of waiting, knowing what God said and trusting in spite of the circumstances.
I think of Joseph, who dreamed as a 17-year-old that God would make him a great leader, greater than any of his family members. His brothers hated him with such zeal that they threw him into a pit before selling him into slavery. We know the whole story, from the pit to Potiphar’s house, to prison, and finally to the palace. It took 13 years of pain in Egypt for him to enter Pharaoh’s service as his second in command.
I think of Moses who was raised as Pharaoh’s son and yet deep in him, he knew his calling wouldn’t allow him to identify as his son as stated in Hebrews 11:24-26. “By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh’s daughter. He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward.” When he ran away from Egypt and lived with his father in law for 40 years, I wonder what was going through his mind, knowing the great purpose ordained for him and yet living as a shepherd in a foreign land.
I think of David, who was anointed to be king as a young shepherd boy. He didn’t even look the part because he was Samuel’s last choice. Then he endured being viciously fought by Saul until his ascension on the throne at 30 years old. I wonder what was going through his mind during those difficult years of being chased like a dog, facing several attempted murders, fleeing from home, and living in caves, all while knowing he was the rightful anointed king.
Hebrews 11 is a summary of the men and women of faith and yet it is written that they were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised, since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect. All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth Hebrews 11:13. Imagine that!
Life will not always make sense and I have come to understand that we are not expected to make sense of it always. Some seasons we will walk in boldness of knowing the blueprint of God in our lives. Some seasons we have to walk in faith and not sight because all we have is His word, His promise and the assurance of His character. And that will be more than enough. We won’t always get the full picture of how it will be. All we have are bits here and bits there as we try and figure the whole picture out.
Looking back at my life, I spent so many years trying to figure it out myself, I ended up making the wrong decisions all because I wanted control over the pieces of the puzzle. I wanted so bad to be in charge of how it all fit in that I didn’t notice I was slowly putting myself up for misery.
We can’t figure our lives on our own, not without running to the arms of the one who knows why He created us and the exact reason He created us. Anything less of this will be us trying to grope around, fitting pieces here and there, some fit in, some stick out like a sore thumb, but nothing will come close to looking like the masterpiece the Creator had in mind in for us. Because He is the God of perfection, His plans are good, pleasing and perfect, anything we do outside His will be a cheap imitation.
The only person who knows the beginning from the end, who knows what works and what won’t work, who knows the plans for our lives is our creator Himself. He says so in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
In the days when things don’t make sense, I pray that your faith will carry you through because the God in whom you have believed in is faithful. He keeps His word and none will return to Him void without fulfilling the purpose He intended it for. When God promises you something, believe Him for it because it is already in existence in His realm and at His appointed time, you will walk in the fulfilment of the manifestations. It may not look like it at the moment but oh it will soon! And when it does, you will look back in hindsight and join the dots of the puzzle called life and it will add up.
Like Joseph did when he revealed himself to his brothers “Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Come close to me.” When they had done so, he said, “I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will be no ploughing and reaping. But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance “So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt” Genesis 45:4-8
Am I still trying to figure out the pieces and puzzles of my life? Yes, I still think of how I’d want my life to be but I don’t fight God about it anymore. Yes, I have desires, but am learning to conform them to His. It’s His way, His will. He does what is best for me and I do what’s best for us (Him and I), I obey because I’ve learnt that obedience is the key to in the walk of faith.
Is my life making sense? Not always but I am letting Him use me in His Kingdom for His glory and honor.
Do I know what lies ahead for me? Not entirely, just bits and pieces of the blueprint of where He is taking me. The rest, only He does and as along as my hand is in the hands of Him who holds tomorrow, am buckled up, excited for the amazing ride we will have because am assured there’s no way this could turn out wrong.
Am I happy? Absolutely, I am infinitely blessed, thankful and whole. My pieces and puzzles are in the right hands and He is making a Master Piece.
Let Him do the same for you, won’t you?
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