Embracing The Process

I began my 2019 on an incredibly high note, high hopes and high expectations of how I had envisioned my year would be. I had clear cut desires in my relationships, my workplace, my area of calling, my visions and my dreams but at the core of it my greatest desire was to have God at the centre of my life and for Him to be completely glorified in my life . Little did I know that what I was praying for wasn’t a one day ‘hi, bam, bye’ kinda thing

I asked God to grow and it started to rain…

Am certain for a fact that everyone who has gone through the journey of transformation can attest that it doesn’t come easy, there’s always a price to pay. It costs you. The price may range for different people who are on different journeys but the ultimate fact is a price has to be paid. Most times it’s painful to grow and change. Most times we are faced with the great fear of the unknown, the fear of the ‘what ifs’, the fear of the looming failure. But the end result for every journey has been a beautiful breath taking masterpiece for all who were courageous enough to face the change.

The Bible has tonnes of examples of such courageous men and women who stepped into uncharted waters to meet their destinies and fulfill their purposes.

Abraham, our father of faith, chose to sacrifice leaving his comfort zone, his family, his familiar to step into unknown lands that he didn’t have a single clue about. All he had was tremendous faith in God who had promised to lead him. I can imagine how painful a process that was, how his family may have rebelled against his decision but he stood firm in his unwavering faith and made the move.

Noah had to withstand the mockery of the people as he labored and built the ark, knowing very well that there had never been any rain but still he trusted the word of God.

Jacob had to run away from his home and go live with his uncle Laban, toiling for 20 years as a servant and shepherd of his flocks, working under the scorching sun and unbearable weather conditions but still gave his all, putting his full trust in God.

Joseph was sold into slavery by his own brothers, worked for years as a slave and a prisoner but all the time never complaining neither did he abandon his faith in God.

David was anointed to be the king of Israel at a such a tender age but it took him years of pain, suffering, death attempts and a runaway life hiding from Saul but he still held on to His God.

We possibly can’t exhaust the list of these amazing experiences that the children of God had to endure in their walk of faith. Even Christ Himself had to drink from the bitter cup of death, be stripped and beaten, be cursed and forsaken by His father in order to fulfill His will on earth.

The process is never that easy and I can now attest to that gladly because 2019 has been so for me and if I had to find a word to describe it, I’d settle for buried because that’s how it felt . A seed that really wanted to grow and the only way for that to happen was to be put in the ground, covered in soil and left in the dark. It’s been a season of being stretched beyond the limits I thought I could, a season of being still and allowing God to work out all things, a season of learning patience, not just as a word that’s thrown around the Christian vocabulary but as virtue and a fruit of the Holy spirit. It’s literally taking the hand of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit to get through.

There are promises God gave years before which I thought would be fulfilled by this time but lo and behold. I’ve prayed with people and had to watch them receive their blessings while I was still waiting on mine, with a smile. I’ve watched people make milestones in their lives, milestones I so would have loved to make, milestones am praying to make but aren’t forthcoming. I’ve watched people receive miracles am praying for and through it all, God is teaching me the grace of being truly happy for everyone despite my circumstances. Lord knows too well this is a struggle He and I have had for long, only thing was I had become very good at masking it from people, the struggle of dealing with envy and jealousy when people get what you want, lol… But God made it very clear that the level I desired to grow into couldn’t withstand this trait so I had to learn.

This has taken the focus from myself and has rooted it completely on God and what He is doing in the lives of people, not just my own. He’s taught me to celebrate people and their unique journey, taught me to count all blessings and not just keep on asking and the most important lesson is that He’s teaching me to genuinely love people, masks aside, because how else will I be happy for them if I don’t?

It has been a myriad of lessons of being molded and melted in the fire to have all my impurities highlighted and by the grace of God removed. All those little foxes are slowly being tamed then eliminated one by one. That little slack in the personal devotions, that fear of opening up to people and fully giving myself to service, fellowships and relationships, that laziness that creeps at work occasionally and I complain about things not going my way and work half-heartedly as if am working for men and not God, those inconsistencies covered up in procrastination which really is an excuse I’ve perfected for not doing the things I very well know I should do (don’t even ask me about the slack in blogging)

Would I trade this experience? No. Not at all, because I can already start seeing the fruits of the process, because am becoming a better person, because am learning, growing and stretching as well as being strengthened. It’s not in vain. And the beauty of it all, aside from working and walking hand in hand with God, is that He is faithful enough to bring destiny helpers along the way who hold your hand too and make the journey easier. God has brought my way mentors to guide me in the areas and levels am desiring to get to. It’s like literally watching people you aspire to be when you grow up making it a journey of faith and hope, that if God did it for them, what can’t He do for me?

So yes it’s painful, it’s uncomfortable, it’s fearful but totally fruitful and worth it. Like all the great men in the Bible whose sacrifices paid up and paid up good, am encouraged that this too shall be used to glorify God in the end and will pay up.

Are you going through a phase where God seems to be silent? A season where things are not moving in your life? An overwhelming feeling of you are not where you should be, that prayers are not being heard let alone being answered? A moment where you are being challenged out of your comfort zone? Where God is calling you out?

Well it’s going to take crazy faith.. like John Waller sang: Crazy faith

O God did I hear You?
You really want me to
Walk up to that mountain
Tell it just to move
This is crazy, yeah
But her face in that picture
I said that’s our daughter
But we can’t swim this ocean
But You’re telling us to move
This is crazy, yeah

Lord, this scares me, yeah
But it’s gonna take crazy faith
So what if it costs (me) everything
I’m stepping out
I’m taking the leap of crazy faith
Crazy faith

This house and all my dreams
You are asking me to leave
And take my wife and children
Where we never thought we’d go
This is crazy, yeah
Lord, I never thought we’d go
And it scares me, yeah

But it’s gonna take crazy faith
So what if it costs (me) everything
I’m stepping out
I’m taking the leap of crazy faith

Here I go
Wherever You may lead I’ll go
lead me, Lord, I’ll follow, follow You

But it’s gonna take crazy faith
So what if it costs (me) everything
I’m stepping out
I’m taking the leap of crazy faith
Crazy faith

I know it’s not easy getting to the point of doubting God’s will in your life, watching miracles pass you by, battling uncertainty, doubts, fears and anxiety, sometimes possibly slipping into depression. I’ve been there…Keep walking, put your trust in God who has a good, perfect and pleasing will for you, He will never forsake you. God will never send you out where His grace has not gone ahead of you. He will straighten the path ahead. He’ll send His spirit to guide you and walk with you. He’ll send helpers along the way. In the end, both you and Him will walk into your victory because you are a conqueror in Him. So don’t quit, don’t give up yet, hold on to His faithfulness and smile through the process.

Sending a prayer for every soldier in the battlefield. ♥️♥️

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised. For in just a little while, He who is coming will come and will not delay. But my righteous one will live by faith. And I take no pleasure in the one who shrinks back. But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.”

Hebrews 10:35-39

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  • Reply
    Tabitha Kibugi
    26th April 2019 at 6:36 pm

    I love this Njeri. Your journey is definitely going to bring out a great person out of you. You have His hand leading you on.

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