“Today in my morning devotion, my heavenly Daddy and I had a one on one talk (He even made sure He woke me up way before the alarm, lol). I knew this was coming so I didn’t want to make excuses or justifications or debate my way out of it. I fell flat on my face and openly confessed that I had failed and fallen then shut my eyes tightly and waited for Him to lash out.
God: Baby girl, am not mad at you and you know it. I love you unconditionally despite your imperfections. I love you even when you fail and fall. Am not looking at where you fell, I need you to look at where you first lost your footing.
Then He took me back months ago when I first slipped, when I treaded on the slippery slope and skid but didn’t fall, when I managed to wobble about and get back to stability. That was when I should have gotten off that road, I should have known that this wasn’t going to go down well in the end. That was when I compromised a little, I let my guard down a little, I bent my standards just a little. And I thought to myself, well it’s just a little, I can handle it. I can skid a little but won’t fall down. Silly I now know, lol.. Because a little of this and a little of that and a little of everything in between led me to fall flat on my behind.
He led me to this verse Proverbs 24:33-34 A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest and poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man. You just don’t wake up poor, you gradually walk yourself to poverty by the little things you do repeatedly. You don’t fall in sin at once, it’s the lil things you allow to distract you, the lil things you compromise on and suddenly one day you are knee deep in the mud wailing and wondering how the devil trapped you. Let’s be honest, some times we are our own worst enemies and it has nothing to do with the enemy. Some battles the devil knows he doesn’t need to fight us on because we will be our own downfall ultimately.
Song of Solomon 2:15 Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom. If you ever for a moment think that a lil compromise won’t do any harm, try taking one little fox, set its tail on fire and let it run loose on your field. It’s the lil spark that creates a raging fire, it’s that one matchstick that can bring down a forest. Be very careful of the little foxes and the little things, they may seem little at the moment until it all blows up.”
I had this conversation with my Heavenly Father in the beginning of the month and I find it amazing that as the month ends, the Holy Spirit is revisiting the topic and urging me to share this message.
I tend to believe that we don’t accidentally fall in sin. It’s always a slow progression of events. “I woke up and found myself in his bed or I found myself at the club drinking”…these are excuses we craft to make ourselves feel better. James 1:14-15 “but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death”
It always starts in our minds and if we allow it, it gradually leads to a slow fade, which reminds me this song by Casting Crowns, Slow Fade:
Be careful little eyes what you see
It’s the second glance that ties your hands
As darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it’s the little feet behind you that are sure to follow
It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white are turned to gray
And thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It’s a slow fade, it’s a slow fade
Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattering leads to compromises, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises leave broken hearts astray
It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white are turned to gray
And thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It’s a slow fade, it’s a slow fade
The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you’re thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
The big question we (Him and I) were deliberating on was; How then do you walk away from the little compromises?I believe that on our own strength, we can’t fight off sin and temptation, on our own we fail and we fail successfully. That’s why we need to be anchored on Christ, the One who has never failed, the One who walked on earth, fully human as well as fully God, the One who was also tempted, like we often are and the One who overcame all victoriously. Hebrews 2:17-18 So He had to be made like His brothers in every way, that He might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, in order to make atonement for the sins of the people. Because He Himself suffered when He was tempted, He is able to help those who are being tempted.
Jesus knows what it feels to be tempted, He knows all about our weakness, He knows all about our struggles and He is willing to guide us to the end. The mere fact that He was tempted in every way and yet was without sin makes him able to sympathize with our weaknesses. This alone encourages us to approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. (Hebrews 4:15-16).
If we choose to focus on our own sins, on our failures, our weaknesses we will forever remain scared of the magnitude of our imperfections, which will always tower over us like giants. The more we think to ourselves that we need to quit that bottle, that addiction, that toxic relationship, that negative crowd by our own strength, the more we will feel little and helpless in comparison to the weight of that burden and the more we will sink in deeper.
I know this too well because for years I struggled to live right, to walk away from certain addictions and labels, to stay saved but the more I tried to by myself, the more I failed miserably. So for years I would go to church, be convicted by the sermon, decide to surrender to God then that same afternoon I’d be back in bed, sleeping with the enemy. I can’t even count the number of times I got saved because its as numerous as the stars in the sky. This happened for so long it became a vicious cycle of getting out for a few days, making a few steps forward then plunging back right in, deeper in sin than I was before I left; the story of chasing out one evil spirit then seven more vicious ones coming back to inhabit a vacuum.
It was only until I truly surrendered my heart and life to Christ, until I allowed Him to come dwell in my heart, fill that empty hollow I was trying so hard to fill on my own, it was only until then that I was able to overcome and live victorious. I had to stop looking at my sins and look up to Christ. I had to stop making an idol of my imperfections and look up to the God of perfection for my deliverance. I had to stop fighting on my strength and let Christ be my strength. And I think that’s where most of us believers fail at, we think we can do all things and forget that it’s only through Christ. The beauty about choosing God and setting your focus on Him is that He begins to change you from the inside out, which ultimately reflects on the outside for all to see.
God is light and in Him, there is no darkness. 1st John 1:5 .When we allow Him to dwell in our lives and we surrender the reigns of control over to Him, He begins to dispel the darkness and eventually we become the light of the world, not because of any glittery glow of our own but because we are redeemed.
If today you feel like you are drowning in darkness, stop fighting the shadows; shadows are merely the absence of light. Invite the Light in, Choose God and watch the darkness melt away!
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