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Inspiration Motivation

Hallway Praises

Have you ever been in prison? Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually? Have you ever felt stuck in life? Like things were not moving and you were somehow cemented at the same spot. And if things were indeed moving, it was more of mark timing and revolving around the same ol circles until you gradually evolved into a contemptuous kinda person because that’s what familiarity breeds?

Salvation is a beautiful exhilarating life changing journey but truth be told it’s not always glitz and glam. Can I get an amen, lol. It has its hills and valleys moment. Moments you’re on the mountain top celebrating victories and testimonies and answered prayers: the highlights of your walk of faith. Then the other moments when you’re crawling knee deep in the valleys, drowning in fear, battling unbelief and fighting raging wars within your spirit and your environment.

Moments you’ll stand in the gap and pray for a loved one battling for their lives in ICU and you’ll get a doctor’s report that they are stabilizing and you can’t help but break out in song and dance. Then days later they succumb to the illness and you take a nose dive back in the darkness of the familiar rock bottom valleys. Moments you’ll pray fervently for certain requests and some will be answered almost immediately with joy and thanksgiving but some will take years and years of still praying, still hoping, still believing and still holding onto the faith.

I’ve had my fair share of highs and lows. Some highs have been incredibly mind blowing and literally the favor of God shining through. Some lows have been down right heart-breaking. I remember when I started my journey of faith three years back, the highs were the highlights, lol… It was so exciting getting to know God, understand His word, learn His voice and His ways, watch Him break down everything to my level of faith, like a lil child having candy for the first time. I’ve come to believe that in our first years God makes the journey easier for us so we can open up more to Him, embrace the teachings and enjoy His fellowship, gradually falling in love with Him.

Once we have been rooted in Christ, He ups the game because He needs us to grow deeper roots that will sustain us, He needs our faith to be strengthened and sometimes that comes through shaking up the foundations, He needs us to pass through the fire and be purified so we can stand before Him, holy and spotless. The tests, the trials, the temptations, the hurdles and the challenges come and if they find us in Christ, we are assured of victory. I’ll be honest, I struggled accepting the hard times as part of the process. I loved praising God in the good times but couldn’t find words to utter in the hard times when it hurt the most. Losing my dad one year into salvation was the beginning of a long journey of accepting and embracing the lesson. It wasn’t until 2018 reflections  that I finally let go of the reins of control and entirely submitted that part to God.

I don’t question God anymore, am at place in my faith where I easily trust His will and His ways even when they don’t make sense to me or they don’t look anything like what I had in mind. I praise Him for the instant answers and those that are not forthcoming, yet, those that He knows when He’ll bring to fulfillment at His own time. Even when it hurts, I’ve learned to still praise Him, through the good and the bad. I’ve learned to be grateful when He’s opened doors, thank Him when doors have been closed and praise Him in between the corridors.

If you wait until all things have fallen in place, you’ll will wait all your life. The test is not in the waiting but in the attitude we have while waiting. I don’t want to be like the children of Israel who gave a mighty praise when God rescued them from Pharaoh and the hand of death only to get to the wilderness and start mumbling and grumbling about the hurdles to the point of wishing they were back in Egypt.

I want to be counted a daughter of faith, like Abraham whose faith was unwavering in spite of his prevailing circumstances. I want to be like David who was anointed to be king one day and went back to shepherding flocks, patiently waiting to take his rightful place at the throne at God’s ordained time. It didn’t pain him to watch Saul as king, he joyfully served him, willing to risk his life to save Saul’s. I want to be like Joseph who prospered as a slave, thrived in prison because the hand of God was with him always. His circumstances never defined nor changed his faith in God.

I want to be like Daniel, unafraid to stick to his faith in the land of the captives, bold enough to stand for what he believed in, protecting his body as the temple of God and unwilling to defy it with the king’s delicacies. Oh I want to be like Job who lost everything and still kept His faith, who was slain but still praised God. And ultimately I desire to be Christ like, who was willing to abandon everything, the throne, the glory and take up the cross, be cursed, be tortured, pierced bruised and obey His father’s will.

If the unanswered prayers will have me cling desperately to my Saviour’s hem, then I gladly welcome the wait.

If my desperation will make me oblivious to the crowds around me, like blind Bartimaeus and have me shout out to Jesus, the son of David to have mercy on me then so be it.

If my desire to seek Jesus will have me climb up the sycamore tree like Zacchaeus just to get a glimpse of His face then a tomboy I’ll gladly be.

If in the middle of the storms, when my boat is rocked and the tempest is raging, the billows are tossing high, the sky is overshadowed with blackness, if such moments allow me to witness The Master of the ocean and earth and sky calming the storm down with a word, then I will gladly step out into the seas and sail all my life.

Some of us are waiting for open doors we forget to count the blessings we already have. Some of us have been stuck in the waiting cell for so long, we fail to be productive where we are and to serve in the best capacity we can as we wait. Miracles do happen in the dark as well, in prison cells… Ask Paul and Silas. Acts 16:25-34

Until God opens the next door, praise Him in the Hallway and in the words of Sarah Jean Armstrong, ‘Don’t just praise Him for the door you THINK He’ll open or want Him to. Praise Him for the door He is going to open that will be the BEST for you. Because when we get to a place where our praise is for the mere fact that He and He alone is enough and HIS plan for our lives is what we desire most, the hallways become just as impactful to our lives as the open doors. The hallways are the classrooms of life. They become where we learn to trust when we cannot see, where we are able to learn to walk by faith when the steps before us disappear and where we are able to know the reassured secrets and heart of our God and Father that much more. He has the keys to every door so praise Him for that and then tell Him that whatever one He plans to open next in your life, you are ready for it and for whatever else it is that He has in store.”

I pray you are encouraged to keep on trusting in God, I pray your fire is stirred up within to keep holding on, I pray your spirit is rejuvenated to place your hopes in Christ alone and above all I pray that you never cease praying!

#HallwayPraises

Inspiration

Beauty for Ashes

BAKE (Bloggers Association of Kenya) 2019 Winners gala happened this weekend and am more than humbled to say the least…truly God is amazing and super faithful. Who would have thought that three years down the line of salvation and an year into blogging, this girl would be nominated for a national award under best religious/ spiritual blog, placed in the same category as personalities I’ve grown up looking up to… But God. He qualifies the unqualified.

I look back at the journey it has taken to get here and I want to break down in tears…years of struggling with anger, bitterness and hurt from a broken childhood that left me totally messed up. Years of struggling with self-esteem and self-worth, lost in a lack of identity because of father wounds. Years of searching for my validation in the arms of the wrong men, a search that left me more hurt, broken and damaged. Years of struggling to believe that my life could be better than the situation I lived in, years of doubt that God would forgive me for my mistakes and that He, in his perfect Holiness could love a sinner like I was. I never thought that He could see past my imperfections, no matter how hard it was preached to me so I ended up running to the wrong places to quench all the lies that had become my reality.

Only a Father’s pure unconditional love can reach out to the grimy, slimy pits of emptiness and hopelessness, the deep trenches of hurt and brokenness, the dark caves clouded with despair and desperation. Only a Father’s heart can feel the last desperate heartbeats of a child who’s giving up on life and show up just in the nick time. Only a Father’s eyes can see beyond the smiles and the make-up, the facades and appearances we put for people yet deep down we are sinking further into depression. And only a Father’s arms can stretch open wide to receive us in our blood stained attires, embrace us and give new garments of praise, new identities and make us new creations. What can’t God do?

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn,  and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendour.
Isaiah 61:1-3 NIV

Our God is faithful to His word, He is not a man that He should lie and today I stand as a testimony that He has fulfilled the promises He made, He has clothed me with honour and Shekinah glory. If I was left to the enemy, I would be standing naked, shamed and degraded but who is like Christ, our beautifier who gives beauty for ashes, our restorer who takes our broken pieces and molds into a master piece, our Savior who rescues us from the jaws of the devil, our Redeemer who sanctifies us, cleansing us by the washing with water through the word so He can present us to Himself without stain or wrinkle or any such blemish, but holy and blameless.

The BAKE Awards Winners gala event was a black tie and am so grateful to my girl squad who helped me glam up and look like Cinderella (you girls are amazing) but for me the ultimate joy was in the inner work that Christ has done for me, the scars that He has chosen to use for His glory, the vessel of clay that He has honored to be an evidence of His hand upon my life, a shunned past that He decided to use as a testimony for His honor.

We gracefully lost the award to none other than Penstrokes , a ministry that I’ve been closely following even before I got saved and he has been an inspiration and role model to so many people, am certain heaven is proud to call him a son. When I grow up, sigh hehe… Special thanks to my chief campaigner, your zeal and infectious energy was felt, like a ripple across an ocean.

That night on my way home, the father of all lies, the devil, the sly cunning deceiving one didn’t waste any time to sneak in and whisper the familiar lies that for so long, I had believed as my truths. He openly mocked me, asking why God allowed me to come this far and lose, why God allowed me to put myself out there, to spend my energy, time and resources to show up at the gala night only to lose. But I wasn’t going to let him win, I looked him straight in the eye and reminded him that everything works together for good for those who love God and are called by His name. I reminded him that I was a victor in Christ, I reminded him of all the battles Christ had already won for me and that I was a conqueror. If anything, he was the one who lost 2000 years ago and the cross at Calvary and the empty tomb was his constant reminder.

Someone special reminded me over the weekend that it’s not always about getting accolades but the bigger picture and the highest calling is the impact of the blog as a ministry and the number of souls that will be saved for the glory and honor of Christ. And if you ask me, there’s no greater reward that will measure up to one day hearing my Savior say, “Well done good and faithful servant.”

So this is a reminder to everyone who’s going through the deep waters that God isn’t done with you, He is working on your story and if you allow Him, He’ll change the narrative for best and for eternity. You’re not too broken. You’re not too lost. You’re not too dirty. You’re not unlovable. You’re just perfect in His eyes. Nothing you’ve ever done and will ever do will separate you from His love. Your weaknesses are perfect for Him.  As Charles Spurgeon once said in a sermon, “God does not need your strength: He has more than enough power of his own. He asks your weakness: He has none of that Himself, and He is longing, therefore, to take your weakness, and use it as the instrument in His own mighty hand. Will you not yield your weakness to Him, and receive his strength?

‘If you think you’ve blown God’s will for your life, rest in this… You my beautiful friend are not that powerful”

Jesus loves taking messes and transforming them into priceless rubies. I used to like the idea of people thinking that I had it all together, now I can’t wait to tell them how much of a mess I was and show them what the power of God can do, all for His glory and honor.. Amen.
PS: Thank you all for taking your time to vote for the blog, am forever indebted for your love and support. May God richly reward you and may you never tire of giving selflessly. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Luke 6:38

Special shout out to my beautiful make up artist, a woman of God with an amazing kind heart, Wanjiru Njenga. Please check her out  on Instagram as @wanjiartistry.

 

Inspiration Motivation

It’s All Part of The Plan.

It’s the start of the sixth month of 2019 and as all new beginnings, we should be excited at how far God has brought us, the blessings He has bestowed upon us and the adventures He has in store for us. Unexpectedly for me, the new month has started off with a few changes that I certainly didn’t see coming and it’s thrown me off balance. They say change is inevitable and it’s good but they didn’t say it was going to be easy. I know there’s a good reason why this change had to be made but nonetheless the heart is one stubborn being, lol and when there’s a shift, the first thing we do is feel the loss of what it brings.

The first two days of this month have been somehow comical to the point I thought I had split personalities, hehe. Initially I was very excited preparing for the change then as soon as it was settled, the emotions took over and I was sad about it (they say ladies are hard to read). What was going through my mind was how difficult adjusting would be and how it would affect other areas. All this time, my mind and thoughts were focused on the strain and negative impact it brought because as human as we are, when one door closes, most times we camp at the close door feeling defeated.

This morning as I was having my TAG (Time Alone with God), the Spirit nudged me to come clean and unburden myself at His feet. Reason being, all this time I was wearing a mask, showing that I was completely okay with what was going around me but we can’t lie to God. He sees our hearts, He reads our minds, He feels our pain and He longs to connect intimately with us. All I needed was that nudge and the tear gates opened wide. I sobbed my heart out, pouring out my emotions, telling him how lost and confused this moment was, confessing that I couldn’t understand  why this was happening, being vulnerable, sharing my fears and all the potential negative possibilities my mind could fathom.

All this time I was crying, I felt Him tightly embracing me, allowing me to be a lil child in His arms, feeling so loved and warm and comforted. Then He gently whispered “It’s all part of the plan”. I slowly calmed down, pausing the sobs so that I was certain of what He had said, perhaps thinking my mind was playing games with me but He said it again repeatedly until my mind and my heart were synced.. “It’s all part of the plan”.

He started reminding me of what His word said, that He is the author and perfector of our faith, that He is the God of order and nothing catches Him by surprise. That He who begun the good work in us is faithful to bring it to a completion and He works all things together for our good. This was all part of the plan. He was in control, He was on the throne. And at once my fears quietened, my mind stopped racing and His peace that surpasses human understanding flooded my heart.

When Abraham was called to move from his father’s house into the unknown lands, he had no assurance of how it would work out but it was all part of the plan. When he was told to sacrifice his only son, he didn’t hold back the one blessing he had prayed for all his life, he obeyed and journeyed to the altar, willing to kill his flesh and blood but it was all part of the plan. When Joseph was stabbed in the back by his own siblings, thrown into the pit, sold as a slave, accused wrongly and sentenced to jail, it was all part of the plan, the redemptive plan of God to reconcile His wayward children back to Himself.

Every challenge, every pain, every situation the children of God as well as His servants went through was never in vain, it was all part of the carefully crafted mastermind exquisite plan of the creator to restore back His creation. Even 400 years later after the old testament, a betrothed virgin was chosen to carry the Messiah, knowing very well the ridicule she would get from the religious society, the potential break up with her fiancé, but this too was all part of the plan. Am utterly convinced that God doesn’t miss His target. His word will never come back in vain without fulfilling what it was destined to fulfil. Isaiah 55:11”so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”

I love the words of John Piper in the song “Though you slay by Shane Bernard”:

“Not only is all your affliction momentary, not only is all your affliction light in comparison to eternity and the glory there. But all of it is totally meaningful. Every millisecond of your pain, from the fallen nature or fallen man, every millisecond of your misery in the path of obedience is producing a peculiar glory you will get because of that.

I don’t care if it was cancer or criticism. I don’t care if it was slander or sickness. It wasn’t meaningless. It’s doing something! It’s not meaningless. Of course you can’t see what it’s doing. Don’t look to what is seen.

When your mom dies, when your kid dies, when you’ve got cancer at 40, when a car careens into the sidewalk and takes her out, don’t say, “That’s meaningless!” It’s not. It’s working for you an eternal weight of glory.

Therefore, therefore, do not lose heart. But take these truths and day by day focus on them. Preach them to yourself every morning. Get alone with God and preach his word into your mind until your heart sings with confidence that you are new and cared for.

Though you slay me,

Yet I will praise you,

Though you take from me,

I will bless your name,

Though you ruin me,

Still I will worship,

Sing a song to the one who’s all I need”

Our suffering as Christians is never meaningless. The story Behind Shane’s song is a touching one. After the untimely death of his father, he and his family desperately looked to God for comfort. They clung to God’s word, and in the deepest moments of grief, they were led to worship and the song was born in that experience.

I don’t know what journey you’re going through now, I don’t know the pain, the heart breaks, the loss and the anguish you’ve felt. But one thing remains, God’s love never fails, never gives up and never runs out on us. There is nothing that God won’t do to save you. You may not understand the path He has called you to walk, but you can trust that it’s all part of the plan; For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 T

Surrender your pain to him and let Him mold it into your purpose because out of your hurt, your purpose will be birthed, if you allow Him to.

Who knew a few tears would bring out this post?

Who knows what your story will birth??

P.S  We got nominated for BAKE (Bloggers Association of Kenya) 2019 awards under the category Best Religious or Spirituality Blog. Am so totally excited about this,whoop whoop. The voting has been extended to 7th June 2019. Please pretty please head over to https://vote.bakeawards.co.ke/ scroll down to Category 18 Religious or Spirituality Blog, vote for option B- mywalkoffaith.co.ke

Lots of love

Me🤣,

Inspiration

Melting in gratitude

When I think upon Your goodness;
And Your faithfulness each day
I’m convinced it’s not because I am worthy
To receive the kind of love that You give
But I’m grateful for Your mercy,
And I’m grateful for Your grace…

As I write this, my heart is grateful. Not because of anything I have received or not received, not because of anything I have or don’t have, not because of who I am or who am not but simply because of who God is…and He is more than my words will ever tell and explain. I look back at our walk of faith, reminiscing the far He has brought me and am overwhelmed with tears of joy, my heart wants to literally break down and cry.

When I accepted Christ in my life three years ago, I didn’t have the faintest idea of what I was getting myself into. All I knew is I needed to escape the pain, the bitterness, the endless cycles of addictions, the anguish, lack of an identity, the hopeless helpless feeling of ever being lost and unloved. I knew I had struggled on my own to get my feet on the ground but the more I tried, the deeper the hole I got myself into. The more I tried to cover up what was brewing underneath the smiles, the make up and the bubbliness, the more broken I felt and became inside until I couldn’t put up with it anymore.. I crashed.

Looking back am so grateful I broke down in the hands of a loving Savior who didn’t have anything less but unconditional love to give and more grace and mercy to cover me. The moment you surrender yourself to Christ, I promise you something inside changes at once. Yes, you won’t break free from all your struggles instantly because salvation doesn’t work like Nescafe, instant coffee, lol, but I promise you something changes. It changes because His presence, His spirit comes and dwells in you and in His presence there is fullness of joy.

You’ll feel free from the burdens that used to weigh your heart down, you’ll be at peace within because the Prince of Peace now lives in you. You’ll no longer be condemned by the enemy because the righteousness of Christ covers and speaks for you. I know this because I speak from my experience of that priceless night I invited Him in my life. That night I went home happy and at peace. Nothing had changed on the outside but I had encountered Christ and I was a different girl on the inside.

The journey from that night was simply amazing because I never was alone again, God always walked by my side, holding my hand, together working out my salvation, bringing me to victories over battles I had fought my entire life, covering me in grace whenever I fell  short of His glory, cheering me on when I made baby steps. The beauty of it all was Him teaching me who I was in Him, revealing little by little my identity in Christ and that was so liberating for me. Knowing I no longer had to subscribe to what people thought of me, what the enemy whispered in my ear, what I had grown up believing based on my circumstances and false beliefs. Freedom is knowing you are royalty, your dad is a King and you are an heir to the throne when you’ve been living like a pauper all your life. And I promise you no games in this throne,lol.

Three years ago if someone told me I’d be living my best life, serving God and serving little ones, writing about my walk of faith, I would have smiled and walked away shaking my head like the Thomas I was. I’ve come to believe with all of my mind, heart, body and soul that when God calls us, He already has everything figured out, He already has provided and funded the journey, He already has set destiny helpers along the way…. all He needs from us is to simply trust and obey that He knows the way and He’s leading us home. What this means is some days we won’t always have answers to where the paths lead but His word will always be a lamp to our feet and a light to our paths.

That’s another beauty I’ve come to truly appreciate in Christ.. the freedom of no longer having to worry about what tomorrow holds, anxious about how things will turn out. He is on the wheel, mine is just to listen to His instruction and walk His will, share my fears and worries when they crop up, because to be honest they do crop up, but not allowing those feelings to hold me captive, rather taking those thoughts captive and obedient to Jesus Christ.

How do I know all these? Because every time I’ve trusted and followed God’s leading along a certain path, He has proved to be super faithful and His promises have been fulfilled. When I got saved God placed in my heart the desire to write and share my faith and for a while I kept pushing it aside and settled for journaling in my diary. The more time passed the more the desire grew and kept burning in me until I settled for creating a WordPress blog which I would write posts and never share with a single soul 🤣

In my mind I figured out I was obeying technically,lol..I did this for one and a half years and looking back I believe God was teaching me the art of discipline, commitment, obedience, testing me to see whether I would still serve Him even if no one was watching. Early last year He called me out and said it was time to upgrade and fully go into the writing ministry and share with the world and thus mywalkoffaith.co.ke was born. This has been one amazing and exciting journey of becoming and blossoming as I continue to grow intimate with Christ. One year down the line and my mind is totally blown away by how God is indeed super faithful. The feedback, the testimonies and stories of how God touched people’s lives through the blog is all God’s doing.

Just to show me that He Is God and can do anything and everything exceedingly abundantly and above my thoughts, the blog got nominated for BAKE (Bloggers Association of Kenya) 2019 awards . What can’t God do? As Christians we are not called to seek the approval of men but this nomination already feels like a small win for me and am truly grateful to God who makes all things possible.

P.S Please head over to https://vote.bakeawards.co.ke/ scroll down to Category 18 Religious or Spirituality Blog, vote for option B- mywalkoffaith.co.ke

I can’t tell what the next three years of my life will be, where He will lead me but am really excited because I know it will be a blast. Am learning to trust and obey. Is it easy? Not at first but gradually as God molds us into the image of Christ, it becomes a lifestyle, through the power of His Holy Spirit. I can’t promise you that your journey will be as mine but it will be worthwhile in the eyes of Christ, it will be beautiful, it will be fulfilling and it will be victorious. Taste and see that indeed He is good. In the meantime, am melting in gratitude.

Imela Papa!!

Inspiration

Embracing The Process

I began my 2019 on an incredibly high note, high hopes and high expectations of how I had envisioned my year would be. I had clear cut desires in my relationships, my workplace, my area of calling, my visions and my dreams but at the core of it my greatest desire was to have God at the centre of my life and for Him to be completely glorified in my life . Little did I know that what I was praying for wasn’t a one day ‘hi, bam, bye’ kinda thing

I asked God to grow and it started to rain…

Am certain for a fact that everyone who has gone through the journey of transformation can attest that it doesn’t come easy, there’s always a price to pay. It costs you. The price may range for different people who are on different journeys but the ultimate fact is a price has to be paid. Most times it’s painful to grow and change. Most times we are faced with the great fear of the unknown, the fear of the ‘what ifs’, the fear of the looming failure. But the end result for every journey has been a beautiful breath taking masterpiece for all who were courageous enough to face the change.

The Bible has tonnes of examples of such courageous men and women who stepped into uncharted waters to meet their destinies and fulfill their purposes.

Abraham, our father of faith, chose to sacrifice leaving his comfort zone, his family, his familiar to step into unknown lands that he didn’t have a single clue about. All he had was tremendous faith in God who had promised to lead him. I can imagine how painful a process that was, how his family may have rebelled against his decision but he stood firm in his unwavering faith and made the move.

Noah had to withstand the mockery of the people as he labored and built the ark, knowing very well that there had never been any rain but still he trusted the word of God.

Jacob had to run away from his home and go live with his uncle Laban, toiling for 20 years as a servant and shepherd of his flocks, working under the scorching sun and unbearable weather conditions but still gave his all, putting his full trust in God.

Joseph was sold into slavery by his own brothers, worked for years as a slave and a prisoner but all the time never complaining neither did he abandon his faith in God.

David was anointed to be the king of Israel at a such a tender age but it took him years of pain, suffering, death attempts and a runaway life hiding from Saul but he still held on to His God.

We possibly can’t exhaust the list of these amazing experiences that the children of God had to endure in their walk of faith. Even Christ Himself had to drink from the bitter cup of death, be stripped and beaten, be cursed and forsaken by His father in order to fulfill His will on earth.

The process is never that easy and I can now attest to that gladly because 2019 has been so for me and if I had to find a word to describe it, I’d settle for buried because that’s how it felt . A seed that really wanted to grow and the only way for that to happen was to be put in the ground, covered in soil and left in the dark. It’s been a season of being stretched beyond the limits I thought I could, a season of being still and allowing God to work out all things, a season of learning patience, not just as a word that’s thrown around the Christian vocabulary but as virtue and a fruit of the Holy spirit. It’s literally taking the hand of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit to get through.

There are promises God gave years before which I thought would be fulfilled by this time but lo and behold. I’ve prayed with people and had to watch them receive their blessings while I was still waiting on mine, with a smile. I’ve watched people make milestones in their lives, milestones I so would have loved to make, milestones am praying to make but aren’t forthcoming. I’ve watched people receive miracles am praying for and through it all, God is teaching me the grace of being truly happy for everyone despite my circumstances. Lord knows too well this is a struggle He and I have had for long, only thing was I had become very good at masking it from people, the struggle of dealing with envy and jealousy when people get what you want, lol… But God made it very clear that the level I desired to grow into couldn’t withstand this trait so I had to learn.

This has taken the focus from myself and has rooted it completely on God and what He is doing in the lives of people, not just my own. He’s taught me to celebrate people and their unique journey, taught me to count all blessings and not just keep on asking and the most important lesson is that He’s teaching me to genuinely love people, masks aside, because how else will I be happy for them if I don’t?

It has been a myriad of lessons of being molded and melted in the fire to have all my impurities highlighted and by the grace of God removed. All those little foxes are slowly being tamed then eliminated one by one. That little slack in the personal devotions, that fear of opening up to people and fully giving myself to service, fellowships and relationships, that laziness that creeps at work occasionally and I complain about things not going my way and work half-heartedly as if am working for men and not God, those inconsistencies covered up in procrastination which really is an excuse I’ve perfected for not doing the things I very well know I should do (don’t even ask me about the slack in blogging)

Would I trade this experience? No. Not at all, because I can already start seeing the fruits of the process, because am becoming a better person, because am learning, growing and stretching as well as being strengthened. It’s not in vain. And the beauty of it all, aside from working and walking hand in hand with God, is that He is faithful enough to bring destiny helpers along the way who hold your hand too and make the journey easier. God has brought my way mentors to guide me in the areas and levels am desiring to get to. It’s like literally watching people you aspire to be when you grow up making it a journey of faith and hope, that if God did it for them, what can’t He do for me?

So yes it’s painful, it’s uncomfortable, it’s fearful but totally fruitful and worth it. Like all the great men in the Bible whose sacrifices paid up and paid up good, am encouraged that this too shall be used to glorify God in the end and will pay up.

Are you going through a phase where God seems to be silent? A season where things are not moving in your life? An overwhelming feeling of you are not where you should be, that prayers are not being heard let alone being answered? A moment where you are being challenged out of your comfort zone? Where God is calling you out?

Well it’s going to take crazy faith.. like John Waller sang: Crazy faith

O God did I hear You?
You really want me to
Walk up to that mountain
Tell it just to move
This is crazy, yeah
But her face in that picture
I said that’s our daughter
But we can’t swim this ocean
But You’re telling us to move
This is crazy, yeah

Lord, this scares me, yeah
But it’s gonna take crazy faith
So what if it costs (me) everything
I’m stepping out
I’m taking the leap of crazy faith
Crazy faith

This house and all my dreams
You are asking me to leave
And take my wife and children
Where we never thought we’d go
This is crazy, yeah
Lord, I never thought we’d go
And it scares me, yeah

But it’s gonna take crazy faith
So what if it costs (me) everything
I’m stepping out
I’m taking the leap of crazy faith

Here I go
Wherever You may lead I’ll go
lead me, Lord, I’ll follow, follow You

But it’s gonna take crazy faith
So what if it costs (me) everything
I’m stepping out
I’m taking the leap of crazy faith
Crazy faith

I know it’s not easy getting to the point of doubting God’s will in your life, watching miracles pass you by, battling uncertainty, doubts, fears and anxiety, sometimes possibly slipping into depression. I’ve been there…Keep walking, put your trust in God who has a good, perfect and pleasing will for you, He will never forsake you. God will never send you out where His grace has not gone ahead of you. He will straighten the path ahead. He’ll send His spirit to guide you and walk with you. He’ll send helpers along the way. In the end, both you and Him will walk into your victory because you are a conqueror in Him. So don’t quit, don’t give up yet, hold on to His faithfulness and smile through the process.

Sending a prayer for every soldier in the battlefield. ♥️♥️

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised. For in just a little while, He who is coming will come and will not delay. But my righteous one will live by faith. And I take no pleasure in the one who shrinks back. But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.”

Hebrews 10:35-39

Inspiration Motivation

Blooming and Becoming: advise to an 18 year old!

This past weekend I had the privilege of attending our first ladies fellowship in 2019 at my home church, Trinity Chapel Ruiru dubbed “New Beginnings”. It was truly a blessing to be in the presence of God and women who are yielded to Christ, witnessing the Holy Spirit move in our midst, stirring up our spirits and souls, bringing a wave of restoration from all the baggage we so heavily carry in our hearts. It is always refreshing being in the presence of like-minded spirits who are intentional about pursuing Christ relentlessly from all ages, the teenagers to the gracefully aged ladies. When we walk alone we walk fast but when we walk with others we get far… That’s the core lesson I’ve picked in my walk of faith, the power of accountability in fellowships.

I recall one question that really got me thinking: If you could go back to being 18 again, what would you do differently? Well first of all, I so wish that was practical because I’d literally run back and do things totally differently, lol… But since I can’t, I can only look back in wisdom and share insights that could help a different 18 year old.

  1. Finding Yourself:

It’s never that serious: the peer pressure as they try to influence you that you’re missing out on some phase or that if you don’t do something you’ll not be cool… that’s never serious. F. O. M. O. (Fear of Missing Out) only exists in the minds of those who don’t know where they are in life and what they want to achieve. I know at 18 you are transitioning from a child into adulthood, trying to figure out life on your terms and fighting your way to independence which is totally understandable. At this stage in life you are yet to truly understand who you are or where you want to be but be 100% sure about who you are not and where you will not step into. Be sure about things you’ll not do, places and spaces you’ll not find yourself in.

You may not yet figure out your fashion sense but be firm that you’ll not compromise on decency while blindly chasing the latest fashion styles.

You may not yet figure out things you love or your hobbies but be firm that you’ll not compromise on your integrity trying to fit in with cliques that you can out rightly tell are doing the wrong things.

You may not yet figure out who you want to be in life but be firm on who you’ll not be, you’ll not be a laughing example to others, you’ll not let others be the ones who learn from your mistakes, you’ll not be caught up pursuing things that don’t add value to your life.

It’s okay to not know where you’re heading to but please be firm on where you’ll not end up at. Like they say, if you don’t stand for something, you’ll end up falling for anything.

  1. Finding Friendships:

Once you’ve figured out where you’ll not want to end up at, it becomes so easy picking and forming friendships because you know what you’re looking for. You’ll not end up being the one who always compromises to fit in circles that you didn’t belong to from the very first start. You’ll not fall into peer pressure and end up doing the wrong things because you have firm principles that you’re standing on. You’ll not pick friends who are walking in the opposite direction from where you desire to be.

You’ll be more intentional in choosing a circle that adds value and pushes you in the right direction; friends who share the same values as you, friends who have a positive outlook on life. Some will have figured out where they want to be in life and this will be great because they’ll hold your hand and guide you in finding your path. But even if they won’t have figured it out, you’ll get a chance to be on a discovery journey and form lifelong friendships that will define a big part of your life.

Don’t force friendships. Some will last a season, some will last a lifetime. Be wise enough to know the difference and have the courage to walk away when the time is right. Some friendships are worth fighting for and others are not…when it drains your peace, when it’s toxic for you, when it’s no longer adding value, when it’s one way, when you are both growing apart and not in the same journey, have the courage to find yourself in a different space. Accept that people will walk away from you and most times it will have lil to do with you but with their season in your life. While at it, ensure you enjoy your friendships to the fullest, give your all, be the best support to them while you can so that when time is up, you don’t walk away feeling regrets, feeling doubts that you are to blame, that you could have done better.

  1. Finding Love.

You’re too young to be thinking about love right now, lol… but I understand you’re on the journey of self-discovery and at some point you’ll find yourself liking someone of the opposite sex, some you’ll crush hard on, some will be infatuations to last a minute and some won’t easily fade away. It’s normal. Do yourself a big favour, don’t get into this space if you’ve not figured out your standards and your values.

The biggest risk would be falling for someone without understanding yourself then sadly end up compromising everything to please them. You neglect yourself and pour out your heart and soul to someone who doesn’t feel the same way. Heartbreak is a love unrequited. Don’t be in a rush to find love, take time to know who they are, build on friendship, discover their likes, dislikes, hobbies, secrets. Find out all you can about them, at least what they are willing to share. Then you can figure out if you’re on the same page of life or not.

I’ll be very honest, most relationships that start out in teenage years rarely make it past the age of 25. Why? Because at 18 you’re both young, naive in matters of life, you’re still grappling around trying to understand yourselves. You’re in the journey of becoming. Once you get to 25, you’ve changed, they’ve changed and thus high chances of falling out because they are not the person you thought they were, well neither are you. And it’s not because you are the wrong person, neither are they… It’s simply because you both discover you’re in different paths of life and can’t walk together again.

Find yourself before you find the other person. Become the person the one you’re looking for is searching for.

  1. Family:

At 18 am sure you feel that your parents are always opposing you and know nothing about what you’re going through. Biggest lie of all times. Your family is the only support that is true and unconditional. They tell you as it. They love you as you are. They accept you with all you have. Don’t be in a rush to grow up and move out. Have a teachable spirit, learn from their lives, and enjoy bonding with them because they are the best at helping you discover yourself in the safest space void of discrimination or judgements.

Deliberately spend time with your folks, get to know them and build on a genuine friendship with them, they just want the best for you. Make your family your friends and I assure you that’s the best emotional investment of all times. One day when you’re older and in need, you’ll have them to lean on for support and it won’t be awkward because home will always be your familiar place. Enjoy playing with your nephews and nieces, delightfully help out your young siblings, and support your parents by being a good obedient child. Family time is always the best time.

  1. Finding God:

Lastly but most important of all, find God for yourself, get to know Him, not just knowing about Him. Pursue an intimate relationship and a true connection with Christ. Not because your parents demand your presence in church every Sunday, not because your church has a cool teenage program where you can hang out with your buddies. Pursue Him because you genuinely want to experience Him. Am pretty sure you’ve grown up with some sort of connection spiritually but nothing brings exceeding joy and satisfaction than nurturing that relationship yourself. And the best part about knowing and growing in Christ is that everything outside Him fits and falls perfectly in place.

A relationship with God will lead you on a journey of self-discovery, you’ll get to know your worth, your identity rooted in how God sees you and you’ll blossom into the individual you were created to be. You’ll discover your gifts and talents early enough, you’ll learn how to love unconditionally because you’ll have tasted first hand true love from God who is LOVE himself. He will teach you how to better relate with others, how to be kind, compassionate, merciful, understanding, how to see people how He sees them.

Your best life will begin once you start living it in Christ. I am a living testimony, no regrets but the one thing I would change if I was 18 again was this, to pursue God with all of my heart. I know it doesn’t mean that my life would have being perfect or smooth, but there would be a huge difference and comfort sailing in storms with God than drowning out in the dark alone.

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In a nutshell, to the 18 year olds out there, you are young and free. Live authentically. Be boldly unashamed of who you are. Never stop learning. Never stop evolving into your best version. Want more and become more. You live once so while at it, make the journey worthwhile and leave the best legacy in your space.

Lots of love,

From a gracefully aged, once upon a time naïve 18 year old.