Growing up, there so many things I used to do, some which I still do but most I stopped.
I stopped doubting myself,
I stopped blaming my past,
I stopped magnifying my flaws and acting blind to the beautiful blessing I was,
I stopped beating myself hard for setting up unrealistic goals,
I stopped looking for adventures that were elusive and left me veered off on wrong paths,
I stopped entertaining people who only needed me because they thought they were better than me and my woes,
I stopped looking for validation from people who gave it at a price that costed me more than I gave,
I stopped giving first priority to people who made me feel like I was always an option to them,
I stopped expecting perfection from people,
I stopped looking for happiness everywhere else other than within,
I stopped waiting for perfect moments instead of creating them myself,
I stopped looking for so many things because I was tired of constantly feeling inadequate,
I was tired of feeling broken and messed up. I was tired of placing my worth in the hands of those who could not see past my imperfections.
I was tired of feeling I could never measure up to anything other than what the world dictated,
I was tired of carrying the heavy burdens and feeling the darkness slowly creep in on me, like a stealth hunter ganging down on his prey.
I am happy I got tired. I am happy I reached my breaking point and hit the ground hard because I didn’t have any other way than back up on my feet. And I needed to do things a different way.
I am happy I found the one thing no one could give me and it finally dawned on me that all I was looking for was not a mirage; it was something I could find in one place.
I stopped my constant search when I found more than what I ever knew I needed.
I stopped looking when I found Christ.