I’ve been under the weather this entire week, literally, nursing a cold and a bad case of tonsillitis. You know those flare ups you get when you indulge in too much sugar, all in the name of celebrating birthdays, and you console yourself it’s once in an year so you can’t hold out, lol😄😋. Yep, that’s your girl.
So I’ve been indoors all week, dolled up in warm clothes and blankets, you’d think I was hibernating in an igloo 🙆. Thank God for my family who took some time off to come keep me company which made the whole experience feel like one big sleep over filled with lots of laughter. I don’t take it for granted that I have people who can see me at my worst, when am fussy and moody and grumpy but still think the best of me.
My oldest nephew, who grew a few inches taller than me (okay it’s more than a few inches, it’s way waaaay taller but this is my post and I’ll decide how tall you’ll be, 😄) and nowadays literally looks down at me while we’re talking, wouldn’t let me sit still. Both him and our youngest nephew (1 year and six months, such an adorable munchkin), God bless his little energetic fireball of a soul, kept me warm on my toes.
It was fascinating watching the lil one playing with his building blocks. He’d sit in his corner, entirely focused on building his castle, then he’d get stuck somewhere, bring down what he’d put up, start all over again, make a few more steps forward, get stuck again and eventually come grab my hand, make me sit down with him and help him out. I loved watching him work his mind trying to figure out the pieces to fit in. He knew the pieces had to fit together but getting them to do so was the key mystery. Anytime he forced them to fit, the block would stand momentarily but as soon as he added another piece, it wobbled down.
As I watched him play, the Holy spirit nudged me that’s how it was with our walk of faith so I sat up and paid a closer attention. Our lives are indeed Pieces and Puzzles; we don’t always get the full picture of how it will be. All we have are bits here and bits there as we try and figure the whole picture out. The only person who knows the beginning from the end, who knows what works and what won’t work, who knows the plans for our lives is our creator himself, our heavenly Father, God Almighty. And He says so in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Many are the times we try to build our lives on our own strength using our own wisdom but it pretty much ends up as the man who built his house on sand; the rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash. (Matthew 7:24-27). It may look like the pieces have fit perfectly, it may look like the castle will stand but we forget that with a weak foundation, nothing stands up in the face of adversity, all sham and drudgery comes tumbling down.
It’s no wonder we look around and see people we all thought were doing well in life, only to come crushing down and crushing hard because all they ever did was put up a show on a weak wobbly foundation. I know because I’ve been there, I know because I once put up a good show, only to fall off the wall faster than humpty dumpty himself, lol 😄. I know how it feels to try fit those puzzles by yourself, in your ignorance and foolishness, trying to find your way in a maze, blind as a mouse but still groping in the dark looking for a way out.
Trust me, everything in our lives that doesn’t stand right will never be upright. We may try and make it look right but it will never be right.
We can’t figure our lives on our own, not without running to the arms of the one who knows why He created us and the exact reason He created us. Anything less of this will be us trying to grope around, fitting pieces here and there, some fit in, some stick out like a sore thumb, but nothing will come close to looking like the masterpiece the Creator had in mind in for us. Because He is the God of perfection, His plans are good, pleasing and perfect, anything we do outside His will be a cheap imitation.
Looking back at my life, I spent so many years trying to figure out myself, I ended up making the wrong decisions, engaging in wrong activities, pouring out my all in negative relationships, enslaved in addictions and chained to baggage that defined me. All because I wanted control over my pieces of the puzzle, I wanted so bad to be in charge of how it all fit in, be in charge of what I say, what I do, who I date etc. that I didn’t notice I was slowly putting myself up for misery.
But I thank God for His amazing grace that saved a wretch like a me. I was completely lost and blind but He found me and I now can see that only He can make a priceless treasure out of any ruins we are willing to submit to Him. Those pieces I tried to fix for more than 8 years took us (Him and I) two months to figure out, clean up and we set out on a journey where daily I surrender to Him, His will and He molds me into my destiny, a destiny He already ordained for me even before the beginning of time.
And what always makes me tear up is that despite my messes, despite those lost days, despite my imperfections, He never at any given point thought of scrapping out His plans for my life, He never gave up on me no matter how many times I kept running away from Him, He never thought that I was undeserving of His love and grace and His will. While I was still a sinner, God still demonstrated His love for me by sending Christ to die for me; no one has greater love than this: to lay down His life for His friends.
Am I still trying to figure out the pieces and puzzles of my life? Yes, I still think of how I’d want my life to be but I don’t fight God about it anymore. Yes, I have desires, but am learning to conform them to His. It’s His way, His will. He does what is best for me and I do what’s best for us (Him and I), I obey because I’ve learnt that obedience is way better than sacrifice.
Is my life making sense? Am letting Him use me in his Kingdom for His glory and honor.
Do I know what lies ahead for me? Nope, he he 😄. Only He does and as along as my hand is in the hands of Him who holds tomorrow, am buckled up, excited for the amazing ride we will have because am assured there’s no way this could turn out wrong.
Am I happy? Absolutely, I am infinitely blessed, thankful and whole. My pieces and puzzles are in the right hands and He is making a Master Piece.