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Inspiration Motivation

To New Beginnings…

It’s the second week of 2019 and I must confess am still secretly excited about the New Year. Am one of those peeps who’ll still say a hello with a ‘Happy New Year’…yes, don’t judge. For me this feels like a clean slate where all my 2018 shortcomings and failures have been wiped clean and I get a do-over. It’s like being handed a blank canvas and I get to write my story and create a beautiful master piece.

Severally I’ve sat and stared at the canvas wondering what I want my 2019 story to be. There are many bits and pieces of what I want but am utterly clueless on how the story line will flow. I have goals, desires, dreams, wish lists etc. but I don’t control my destiny, my Creator does.

“Mortals make elaborate plans, but God has the last word. Humans are satisfied with whatever looks good; God probes for what is good. Put God in charge of your work, then what you’ve planned will take place.” Proverbs 16:1-3 MSG

As I was meditating about my goals and successes I needed to achieve this year, the Spirit was keen on reminding me key lessons from the above scriptures;

  1. The What:

What  goals do I want to achieve in 2019?

Lord knows I have a whole list written down detailing all spheres of life (Spiritual, Emotional, Intellectual, Financial, Social, Physical and Career) and the specific goals I have in mind and at heart lol.

I love writing down my vision and game plan because it puts my mind in focus and helps align all my thoughts, words and actions towards that direction. It sort of becomes my compass to guide me and walk intentionally throughout the year. For me writing it down becomes an act of faith that am trusting God with all these dreams and am putting it down because I know He is faithful to bring it to fruition. Nothing scares Him and nothing is off limits to Him, He is limitless and the God of all impossibilities.

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do and He will establish your plans”

  1. The Why:

Why do I want to achieve those goals?

God is very intentional about the motives behind our plans, the ‘why we do what we do’. As I list my goals, am very sensitive in asking the Spirit to reveal to me my heart and the motives behind wanting to achieve these successes. At times we want things for very selfish reasons and I must confess am a victim of this. We want material wealth so we can slay, look good and appear successful to the world; we put ourselves first on the list.

Am not saying wanting wealth for ourselves is bad because we have our needs as humans but if that’s all we will do with it, if our blessings will not bless other people, make a difference in the lives of people around us, then what makes us believe that God will give us in excess? “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. Luke 16:10

This is clearly highlighted in James 4:3 “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures”

My prayer is that I set my goals, my heart and motives will be aligned to God’s will and my mind-set will shift to being Eternity driven and Kingdom focused.

  1. The How:

How do I intend to achieve those goals?

We make our plans but God always has the final say because He orders our steps. It’s fruitless to start anything without asking God what His direction and purpose is. That can be likened to walking around blindfolded helplessly groping in the dark for direction yet we can ask for help and guidance from God. He promised to give us a helper and He kept His word. We have the Holy Spirit to be our guide, our teacher, our counsellor, our comforter and our all in this journey. What I love most, about the Holy Spirit, among many other things, is that He is such a gentleman, He will not force Himself on us. He patiently waits for us to invite Him in our lives, in our hearts, in our daily walk.

I don’t intend to do anything this year without the Spirit guiding me and my prayer is that I will not place anything or anyone above God. It’s His way, His will. God of all or nothing at all.

Am totally clueless on how the future will be but who’s worried about that? Not me, lol. God doesn’t ask us to know the way, He just asks that we trust that He already knows and He’s the one leading us. I don’t want to get so caught up in the destination that I miss out on what God will do along the journey. God is literally the ONLY THING am sure of and am intentional about allowing Him to guide my every step so am confident that am exactly where I need to be. With every day I know am inching closer to my destination and most importantly closer to Him.

This morning I received a great insight on Genesis 6-8 from a friend who is walking with me in the journey of reading the entire bible in one year. He said” God asked Noah to build the ark. He gave him the plan, the resources, brought in the animals and shut them in. All Noah had to do was obey and walk in faith.” This hit home hard, many are the times God calls us to do something big and we cower in fear, our carnal mind trying to figure out how to do. We forget that if God calls you to something, He funds it 100% and provides everything we need. All that is required from us is trusting and obeying.

In 2019, may we not burden ourselves with the worries of how to do it but may we boldly walk with confidence in God knowing that all things are working for our good..

Happy New Year beloveds and cheers to new beginnings!

Inspiration

Give Thanks in all Things..

Yesterday I went to bed totally elated and excited because God had done something so amazing, I was over the moon. It wasn’t some big miracle, lol… It was a lil reward for simply obeying to His prompting but I’ll let you be the judge of that.

I was in a matatu heading home after a long hard day both at work & class and all I wanted to do was catch up on social media. Which was what I was doing up until the bus was full and we started heading out of town. That’s when the Spirit gently nudged, “Please put your phone away, we don’t want to make someone else rich.” I automatically smiled because He got my attention because let’s be honest, hehe…whose senses don’t heighten when money is mentioned?

So I promptly put my phone away and sat upright. In less than 6 minutes we had a slam on the side of the matatu and before I could turn the lady seated behind me screamed so loudly. Her phone had just been snatched from her hands and  there was nothing she could do about it but sit there and cry. I was perplexed to say the least. In my mind all I was thinking was, “Darn, that could have been me, that could have been me, that could have been me.”

I was rattled on the outside, feeling terrible for the lady but deep inside I was breaking out in praise because God had snatched me and my phone away from the snatcher.. Lol. That’s how He made my night and I went to bed feeling so loved and protected even in the little matters.️️

I would be lying if I told you that that’s how our relationship always is, all rosy and lovey dovey, like nothing ever goes wrong.

I woke up this morning and like the imperfect human I am, I forgot all about His doing the previous night. I think it must be the hormones and all, lol, let’s put the blame there. But the minute I stepped out of the house and realized it was raining I got so furious with God. I was ridiculously mad because who does that, who allows the heavens to open up and have a major downpour in the morning when His children are going to work? Doesn’t He care about their health or how they’ll manoeuvre to work? Especially those who were not driving and depended on public transport. I was seething and burning with rage.

I didn’t want to listen to what the Spirit had to say at that particular point. I walked in the rain venting out all frustrations on Him, complaining that He didn’t care about me and if I got to work drenched or late. I got to the stage and there was no bus or matatu which fueled my lil tantrum more because I was forced to take a motorbike to the highway to get a ride.

By the time I was sitted in the matatu I was fussy and wanted a time out:

God: Baby girl…

Me: I don’t feel like talking right now.

God: Talk to me child. .

Me: No. I don’t want to. We are on time out.

God: What did I… What’s the issue?

Me: Am so pissed, am drenched, am cold, am late. As in why let it rain in the morning? Why not at night? Are you punishing me for snoozing my alarm? Maybe if I left the house earlier I wouldn’t get rained on. I thought you loved me. I don’t feel loved right now. I feel…

God: Young lady watch your tongue. I maybe Papa but don’t forget who I am in entirety.

Me: Now I feel scolded and hurt. I thought you said I could come to you and be real and raw and open up, no faking or putting up shows.

God: Yes you can baby girl and I want you to be vulnerable and broken before me but don’t cross lines child. I am still your God.

Me: I don’t feel like talking anymore. Am sorry…

At this point am feeling all sorts of emotions, hurt and guilty…hurt because am still on tantrum riot but more so guilty because He has a point and I have crossed lines. I hate hurting Him but for now am too proud to say am sorry so I look away. I grab my phone, start scrolling through Facebook and I can feel the Spirit watching me, waiting for us to have this conversation and iron it out but am trying hard to ignore His conviction.

As am scrolling I come across my favourite writer, John Piper, Desiring God. It’s an article titled suffering can save your prayer life   https://www.desiringgod.org/messages/put-in-the-fire-for-the-sake-of-prayer/excerpts/suffering-can-save-your-prayer-life

At once I smile to myself because He knows how to get my attention, lol. At this point I feel He’s smiling back to me, probably thinking, “gotcha lil lady, can’t run away from me for long”.  I read through the article and am deeply convicted I want to break down and cry because the lesson from the article is God puts us in the fire to awaken earnest prayers. As I shared in 2018 Reflections God had been teaching me to trust in Him at all times, good or bad. So for today, I had failed the test, lol but it really never is failure if we learn the lesson.

God is good at all times, times when He’s my protector, saving my phone from thieves and bad times when He opens the heavens and allows me to get rained on.. He still is a good God. Am actually glad it rained and I got fussy because I learned a big lesson: God rescues us from the flames of hell then puts us into refining flames so we can seek Him diligently and learn how to submit ourselves to Him.

Am not fussy anymore, you can’t really be mad for long at a God who knows you intimately, doesn’t get mad at your imperfections, who accepts you just as you are, flaws and all and above all, a Saviour who would willingly die on the cross all over again just for you.

I learn, I fail, He still patiently takes me back to class for the lesson again knowing that I will pass because am His child and learn from the best. I am loved, what more could I want.

Love and blessings.

 

Inspiration Motivation

2018 REFLECTIONS

33 days till the end of 2018…just thinking about that gives me chills down my spine. Indeed time flies and 2018 credits are almost about to roll up. I haven’t posted in a while and part of me wants to delve into how and why that’s been the case, lol, because who’s not good at coming up with excuses. Can’t say am not. So I won’t justify a thing. But I woke up this morning in a thankful and reflective spirit, excited that God has been super faithful and gracious to carry me through this far. Indeed if it was not for God, I wouldn’t be standing let alone breathing.

I can’t help but look back at my 2018 journey and part of me wants to secretly break down and cry because God has come through for me exceedingly, abundantly and above all I ever could think, ask or imagine. There are prayers I didn’t make but still He opened doors. There are prayers I made and He faithfully answered. There are prayers I’ve made and still am making and He hasn’t said No, He’s working out things I believe in my favour and for His glory so am patiently waiting in the hallway as I praise Him for His goodness.

If there’s a main lesson God has taught me this year, it’s knowing, believing, confessing and living in the confidence that God is still God at all times, good and bad, He still remains to be a good God. This isn’t one of the lessons you learn in class while sitted and smiling, heaven no, lol. I’ve had to learn this while sinking into low valleys, crawling in lonely deserts, burning out from the scorching sun, hitting rock bottom moments that leave you broken, bruised and hurting.

Those moments you have no else to turn to but God. Those moments you try praying but can’t make a sound, you can only whimper and cry, moments you try journaling but instead of ink, tears become your pen. And my biggest challenge was, would I still trust in God? Would I still cling onto Him? Would I still praise Him in the darkest of nights? Would I still sing that He is a good good Father? Would I still decree that He is good all the times and all the times He is good?

I have to be honest, I didn’t learn that lesson the first time He took me out of the class. I confidently flopped like a pro, lol. There’s no shame in admitting that at first I couldn’t fathom why God had to allow or watch my heart break and go through such pain. I doubted Him. I doubted my walk of faith. I couldn’t get myself to praise Him. I walked in bitterness. The funny bit was that was just the first test which was mildly a first grade level but still this girl failed.

All along the year, there are tests I aced and there are those I failed, which in my mind the latter seem to be the most, fortunately or unfortunately but am glad because out of the failures and mistakes were lessons to be cherished and experiences to grow and groom me. I can confidently say am not the girl I was at the beginning of the year. She’s blossoming bit by bit. I don’t look like the masterpiece I desire but as long as I keep walking with my Master, what won’t He do? He is faithful to complete the good work He began in me and am confident that all things will be beautiful in His timing.

God has taught me to walk in forgiveness by bringing back people in my life who we had fallen out so terribly in 2017. At first it was painful reliving the hurt and pain but it was necessary as a starting point for the healing process. It was hard getting to trust them and open up myself to them again. Initially it was a make believe walk, I was putting up behind a mask, making myself believe I didn’t have to do this intentionally but God sees through our hearts and the motives behind our actions. He saw through me and deeply convicted me that I was only lying to myself and hindering Him from working in me. I had to be vulnerable, had to let them in and let the façade slowly fade out. And true to His word God came through in ways I could never imagine, He not only brought healing and restoration, He answered a prayer I had been making for so long, a prayer that every lil girl dreams and prays about and am excited about this journey (who knew the blessing would come through my obedience.)

I had to learn to forgive and let go of some aspects so that God would lead me to new areas of faith. This called for some changes which initially were scary, just the thought of starting all over again made my heart skip some beats but looking back at the place I am currently, am glad I made the move. Moving churches was a decision I struggled with but it led me home, a place I had been searching for all along. The change brought in new people, new circles, and new levels of faith. It gave me a chance to start building my faith all over again, to be intentional about my walk by undertaking a discipleship class – Mizizi-plugging into your God give purpose. God had already being teaching me about opening up to people who can hold me accountable so I didn’t struggle with that. The journey has been beautiful, to say the least, bonding with my plug in team (amazing group), a fun but fruitful retreat. Completing the class and joining ministry has got to be the highlight of the season, that plus going for my first mission out of town (Positioned for impact) I can’t wait to see what 2019 has in store.

God taught me to leap out in faith, to pursue my passion and the calling that had been burning in me for so long, to step out from fear and walk in confidence, reminding me that the righteous are bold like lions. After struggling with it for a while, I was convicted and made my move and the blog was born, my walk of faith. I remember the fears I harbored, fear that I would have nothing to write, fear that I would fail and stop, fears that I wasn’t perfect enough and was still learning to trust and walk in faith, fears that I was broken and there was nothing to be learned. But God, who is like you on this earth, He completely, totally and still utterly continues to amaze me. The lesson I’ve learnt is if it comes from God, if He provides then He surely will fund it and sustain it. In all the fears and weaknesses I had, He shines His light and graces me with His strength. I have learned to surrender every part of me, broken or not and allow Him to tell the story and use it for His glory.

The journey hasn’t been perfect, there are days I haven’t written in ages, days I haven’t been intentional in my walk of faith, days I’ve neglected to tap to my source of strength resulting in my crumbling down. Those days when I thought of giving up, God would send people to remind me why I write, to share the testimonies of how God had spoken to them through the blog and how they were praying for me. I am blown away at how God works and how He connects people divinely. Special thanks to all the angels out there who have been standing by my side and encouraging me, pouring into me when I was running low, motivating me to still write.

2018 hasn’t been all smooth, it’s been ups and downs, mountains and valleys but am glad I didn’t have to walk alone. I’ve crushed and bounced back, I’ve pushed people away, people I cared about and who meant a lot to me but we are slowly reconciling back. I’ve depended on my strength, failed miserably and run back to God to lead me on. I’ve had my fair share of doubts if things were going to work out, watching people receive miracles am praying for but I’ve learnt to be patient and rest in God’s timing. I’ve failed to count my blessings and  ended up whining about what I didn’t have but my gratitude jar is now intentionally being filled up as I remind myself of how loved I am by God.

It’s been quite the ride, am learning, am growing, am blooming and evolving. My humble prayer is that as I continue this journey of faith, may I never forget where God has brought me from, may I never fail to be ever thankful for all the answered prayers and blessings He pours so graciously, may I never stop believing in God, believing in who He is in my life and who I am to Him. May I never stop confidently speaking to the dry bones in my life and the lives of those around me and those we’ll meet up with because the power of life and death is in my tongue. Above all, may I never stop walking in faith, walking in confidence for what I hope for and assurance for what I do not see.

All in all I thank God for everything He has done, everything He is doing and everything He is going to do. To God be the glory.

Inspiration

BLESSINGS IN BROKENESS!

“God will break you to position you,
Break you to promote you,
And break you to put you in your right place,
But when He breaks you He doesn’t hurt you, He doesn’t,
When He breaks you He doesn’t destroy you, He does it with; grace”

Song; Gracefully Broken by Tasha Cobbs

I’ve been meditating on the state of being broken (Healing and Grace) and I was prompted to read 2nd Kings 7:3-20. This passage tells a beautiful story of redemption. A story about four lepers, disregarded by society as failures but in the end, turned out to be used as vessels to save a dying nation.

For those who won’t get to read the scripture here is how the story goes, in my words, lol.

Once upon a time, back then in those days lepers were forbidden from living together with society because of their condition which people feared was infectious. So they were thrown out of the city and lived separately in their own circle. At that time, the city was under attack by the Arameans. I don’t know but this doesn’t sound like a scary name to me. Like if I was indoors on a lazy Saturday morning and got a call from a strange number claiming to be the Arameans I wouldn’t be perturbed. But that’s just me. The Israelites were completely surrounded and put under siege to such a point that none of them could enter or leave the gates. With time the city’s food supplies continually dwindled as there was no replenishment available. This ultimately led to a famine that was so tragic, women resulted to feeding on their children.

The lepers who lived outside the gates were not spared either and they too shared in the predicament but what I like about these four guys is their brave resilient spirit. Since they were already dying of hunger outside the gates they thought to themselves, ‘oh well, what’s the harm in going over to the enemies’ camp to ask for food. Chances are they’ll kill us or we’ll die out here. Either way, we’ll still die. Shouldn’t we make an attempt nonetheless?’

Leper 1: Am starved (wailing out loudly)

Leper 2: I know dude, me too. I could use a nice plate of hot juicy ribs dipped in…

Leper 3: Oh please stop it that’s not helping much you know (grumpily)

Leper 1: Spare us… a man can dream. If we can’t feed our stomachs we might as well feed our dreams. Right bro? (turns and expectantly looks at Leper 4 waiting for his support)

Leper 4. Not today dudes. Am saving my energy, am too weak to indulge in silly banters.

Leper 3: Oh really, so what would you rather do, enhe? Crawl to the enemies camp and beg for a morsel (retorts snidely)

Leper 2: Why can’t we do that?

Leper 1: I beg your pardon. Slowly repeat those words.

Leper 4: Haha..y’all a bunch of cowards. I bet none of you has the guts to face fear right in the face. I bet you’d rather we die here in misery..

Leper 2: Yes, than die in pain, butchered mercilessly by the Arameans.

Leper 3: Because death by starvation is less painful than a sword..

Leper 4: Yea right, chickens, lol. See you on the other side of life.

And he began to slowly crawl over to the other side of his fear, determined to take chances in his own hands.

Leper 1: Wait a minute.. Dude is actually doing it. Look at him.

Leper 2: Damn. That’s bravery right there I tell you. I always knew he had something in him.

Leper 3: Wish I had guts like his

Leper 4: (mockingly) Hehe.. You still have a little left of yours. Why don’t you follow me before they fall off.

Leper 3: Dude I heard that. Am so coming for you. And he begins to crawl towards his direction.

Leper 1&2: Not again you two. Let’s go stop this fight. Y’all have to fight,huh, can’t wait for the enemy to kill you, you’d rather stab each other, lol.. See our lives.

********

With nothing left to give, the four lepers cautiously made their way over to the Arameans camp. I love how God turned the situation around to their favour. Truly when God says He fights for us, indeed He does. Would you believe that our almighty, the most high God caused confusion in the enemies camp. He made them think that the Israelites were coming to attack them and caused such panic.

“At dusk they got up and went to the camp of the Arameans. When they reached the edge of the camp, no one was there, for the Lord had caused the Arameans to hear the sound of chariots and horses and a great army, so that they said to one another, “Look, the king of Israel has hired the Hittite and Egyptian kings to attack us!” So they got up and fled in the dusk and abandoned their tents and their horses and donkeys. They left the camp as it was and ran for their lives.”2 Kings 7:5-7

The whole camp fled away in such a frenzy that they left everything behind, all their gold, silver and possessions, all their foods and supplies. They left everything, they didn’t carry even a dime. You can imagine the utter surprise and excitement the four lepers had once they arrived at the scene. I bet at first they thought it was a trap but because of their faith, because they stepped out of their comfort zone and what they thought was their dying place, God used them to fight for His children and give victory to a war they didn’t have to fight.

Like every starving person would have done, the four lepers ate to their fill, gathered as much food and possessions as they possibly could. But unlike most of us, they were filled with compassion and decided not to hoard the supplies to themselves yet a whole city was starving to death. So they sent word out and that’s how salvation came through the least expected channels, people who were once rejected and despised.

The End

I love how the Bible is full of stories about men and women whose labels were far from perfect but were still chosen by God to bring glory and honor to His name. I love how God calls the most ordinary people, those who are broken, those who are unqualified, and those who are undeserving to carry out His will. Because to God all that matters is that He qualifies us. Period.

It’s not about what you have done, neither is it about what you can do, it’s always about having a teachable spirit and a heart fully and truly surrendered to Christ. If this was not the case, some of us wouldn’t even stand before the world. Oh the beauty of being hidden in Christ because no one can stand up to condemn you or your past. Oh the beauty of our flaws, our weaknesses, our imperfections because God uses them to magnify Himself.

Just because we are fighting battles in some areas of our lives, it doesn’t make us less of Christians. To the world, weaknesses maybe an Achilles heel but to us who are saved, who believe in Jesus Christ, it is a platform for God to display His perfect strength through us.

As Paul clearly puts it in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me, my grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.(Mssg version)

Lessons I picked from the story:

  1. I am not my imperfections and I shouldn’t let the world label me. Only Christ has the authority to define my worth.
  2. My imperfections are perfect in the hands of Christ because in His own timing He makes all things beautiful.
  3. Christ delights in using me just as I am for His glory. He doesn’t need me to clean up first before I approach Him. Once I am surrendered to Him, He takes up from there.
  4. I need to be careful of my circle. At times we stay in our cocoons because our friends are afraid to break free into victory. Have a circle that is unashamedly and relentlessly pursuing growth, grace and greatness.
  5. Don’t treat the world as it treats you. Be kinder. Be compassionate. Be Christ Like, always. Only then can the world tell the difference.

Best lesson am carrying with me to eternity is that indeed our brokenness is a blessing in disguise and if we allow Christ to be the center of our lives, He will use it to stand us before the world as testimonies, as men and women who braved it all and came out as more than conquerors.

Praying for those warriors fighting battles we can’t see, praying for Grace and strength to overcome and above all praying for the Spirit of God to hold you, comfort you and walk you through to your testimony.

*************

Happy new month, yaaaaay. Wishing you an exciting count down to the end of 2018.

 

Lots of love,

Beautifully Broken.

Inspiration

Absolute Surrender!

Everyone has preferences of the partner they would like e.g. tall, dark and handsome. Does giving your life to Jesus mean giving up on those preferences?

A friend asked me this question the other day and the first answer that came to my mind was that giving your life to Christ means having His preferences over yours. I sensed a bit of fear on his end about this topic, it felt like something he had been mulling over for a while but he held back from making that crucial decision. I know this because he’s been very inquisitive about my walk of faith and thus we’d been sharing a lot on it. The question didn’t get me off guard but it made me reflect back on what it meant, for me, to give my life to Christ.

Most people are afraid about giving their lives to Christ, for one reason or the other. Some fear they will lose control over their lives. Some fear they will be forced to live a bored life. Some fear their imperfections will hinder them from living a righteous life. So many reasons have been given to justify our fears but if we take a keen look at the source of all these fears, it goes back to us; we have placed ourselves on a pedestal and made the focus all about ourselves. It’s all about us, we will fail, we will get bored, we are not good enough, we, we, we… It’s no wonder then why we fail because we, with all our flaws and imperfections, have set ourselves as the standard thus we are doomed to fall short.

Any time we place ourselves as the objects of attention we should brace ourselves for failure. Because that is akin to pride, worshiping ourselves (self-glorification). Pride is self-obsession, pride is preoccupation with ourselves; our successes (self-exaltation), rubbing our successes in others faces (self-promotion) and ultimately pride is the origin of sin. Some may argue and say the reason am afraid to give myself to Christ is because am too imperfect, am worthless, I don’t deserve His love, how can this be termed as pride? Well am afraid that it is pride as well because pride is not only about focusing on our strengths, it also takes form when we beat ourselves too hard for our failures (self-degradation/self-demotion).

Whether we are obsessed about our successes or about our failures, bottom line is, we are still thinking about ourselves, we are still obsessed with ourselves and that is pride.

What does surrendering my life to Christ therefore mean to me?

It means I take a humble bow and acknowledge on my own, I can’t hack it and I need Christ in totality. It means I come off my high horse; I come off the pedestal and put God at the centre of it all. It means I completely forget all about myself (self-forgetfulness), stop fixing the focus on myself (die to self), and I focus on God. It means I choose the path of humility as opposed to the path of pride because the bible is very clear God’s stand regarding pride. He opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. 1st Peter 5:5 Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

Does this mean I lose myself in the process?

I don’t think of it as losing myself, I think of it more like getting an upgrade to the best version of me.

In my weaknesses, He perfects His strength. 2 Corinthians 12:9 9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 

In place of my heavy burdens, He gives me His light yoke; He gives me rest. Matthew 11:28 Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

In place of all my worries and anxieties, He gives me peace. Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

In place of my mourning, He comforts me and gives me the oil of Joy. In place of ashes, He bestows on me a crown of beauty. In place of despair, He gives me a garment of praise. He calls me His oak of righteousness, a planting of the Lord, for the display of His splendour. Isaiah 61:1-3

Do I need to be perfect?

No. God does not need your strength; He has more than enough of power of His own. He asks for your weakness; He has none of that himself and He is longing, therefore, to take your weakness, and use it as the instrument in His own mighty hand. Will you not yield your weakness to him, and receive his strength?

What happens to my dreams? My desires?

God gives us dreams and desires that burn so passionately within us. If He will not fulfil them, He’ll take away the desire. Even before we were born, even before we were conceived in our mothers’ wombs, He knew us, He set us apart. He has great plans for us, plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us a future and hope.

All our plans, desires and dreams put together cannot match up to the great destiny God predestined for us. So if I was to choose between the two, I definitely choose God’s will, God’s plans, God’s way for my life because ultimately, am choosing the best.

It doesn’t mean I gave up on my tall dark and handsome preference, (Lord knows we debated about this for a while because I was so stuck on choosing the outward appearance over the inner beauty, lol), I learnt my lesson and am excitedly watching Him fulfil the desires of my heart.

The best part of my walk of faith has been letting go and letting God. I let go of the reins in my life and I gained freedom; freedom from worry, freedom from anxiety that things are not going right. It’s more of I stepped out of the driver’s seat, I let Jesus take the wheel and I settled at the back left. So now am easy, we are cruising at His pace. I don’t need to be all worried about which path to walk, which decision to make, which turn to take, that’s all entirely on Christ, the driver of my life. He knows what’s best and I know Him, period!

It sounds easy? I know, lol. But it is easy, trust me..

Wait don’t trust me, Trust Christ. That is the absolute surrender!

Inspiration

Choose God!

“Today in my morning devotion, my heavenly Daddy and I had a one on one talk (He even made sure He woke me up way before the alarm, lol). I knew this was coming so I didn’t want to make excuses or justifications or debate my way out of it. I fell flat on my face and openly confessed that I had failed and fallen then shut my eyes tightly and waited for Him to lash out.

God: Baby girl, am not mad at you and you know it. I love you unconditionally despite your imperfections. I love you even when you fail and fall. Am not looking at where you fell, I need you to look at where you first lost your footing.

Then He took me back months ago when I first slipped, when I treaded on the slippery slope and skid but didn’t fall, when I managed to wobble about and get back to stability.  That was when I should have gotten off that road, I should have known that this wasn’t going to go down well in the end. That was when I compromised a little, I let my guard down a little, I bent my standards just a little. And I thought to myself, well it’s just a little, I can handle it. I can skid a little but won’t fall down. Silly I now know, lol.. Because a little of this and a little of that and a little of everything in between led me to fall flat on my behind.

He led me to this verse Proverbs 24:33-34 A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest and poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man. You just don’t wake up poor, you gradually walk yourself to poverty by the little things you do repeatedly. You don’t fall in sin at once, it’s the lil things you allow to distract you, the lil things you compromise on and suddenly one day you are knee deep in the mud wailing and wondering how the devil trapped you. Let’s be honest, some times we are our own worst enemies and it has nothing to do with the enemy. Some battles the devil knows he doesn’t need to fight us on because we will be our own downfall ultimately.

Song of Solomon 2:15 Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom. If you ever for a moment think that a lil compromise won’t do any harm, try taking one little fox, set its tail on fire and let it run loose on your field. It’s the lil spark that creates a raging fire, it’s that one matchstick that can bring down a forest. Be very careful of the little foxes and the little things, they may seem little at the moment until it all blows up.”

I had this conversation with my Heavenly Father in the beginning of the month and I find it amazing that as the month ends, the Holy Spirit is revisiting the topic and urging me to share this message.

I tend to believe that we don’t accidentally fall in sin. It’s always a slow progression of events. “I woke up and found myself in his bed or I found myself at the club drinking”…these are excuses we craft to make ourselves feel better. James 1:14-15 “but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death”

It always starts in our minds and if we allow it, it gradually leads to a slow fade, which reminds me this song by Casting Crowns, Slow Fade:

Be careful little eyes what you see
It’s the second glance that ties your hands
As darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it’s the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white are turned to gray
And thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It’s a slow fade, it’s a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattering leads to compromises, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises leave broken hearts astray

It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white are turned to gray
And thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It’s a slow fade, it’s a slow fade

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you’re thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see

The big question we (Him and I) were deliberating on was; How then do you walk away from the little compromises?I believe that on our own strength, we can’t fight off sin and temptation, on our own we fail and we fail successfully. That’s why we need to be anchored on Christ, the One who has never failed, the One who walked on earth, fully human as well as fully God, the One who was also tempted, like we often are and the One who overcame all victoriously. Hebrews 2:17-18 So He had to be made like His brothers in every way, that He might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, in order to make atonement for the sins of the people. Because He Himself suffered when He was tempted, He is able to help those who are being tempted.

Jesus knows what it feels to be tempted, He knows all about our weakness, He knows all about our struggles and He is willing to guide us to the end. The mere fact that He was tempted in every way and yet was without sin makes him able to sympathize with our weaknesses. This alone encourages us to approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. (Hebrews 4:15-16).

If we choose to focus on our own sins, on our failures, our weaknesses we will forever remain scared of the magnitude of our imperfections, which will always tower over us like giants. The more we think to ourselves that we need to quit that bottle, that addiction, that toxic relationship, that negative crowd by our own strength, the more we will feel little and helpless in comparison to the weight of that burden and the more we will sink in deeper.

I know this too well because for years I struggled to live right, to walk away from certain addictions and labels, to stay saved but the more I tried to by myself, the more I failed miserably. So for years I would go to church, be convicted by the sermon, decide to surrender to God then that same afternoon I’d be back in bed, sleeping with the enemy. I can’t even count the number of times I got saved because its as numerous as the stars in the sky. This happened for so long it became a vicious cycle of getting out for a few days, making a few steps forward then plunging back right in, deeper in sin than I was before I left; the story of chasing out one evil spirit then seven more vicious ones coming back to inhabit a vacuum.

It was only until I truly surrendered my heart and life to Christ, until I allowed Him to come dwell in my heart, fill that empty hollow I was trying so hard to fill on my own, it was only until then that I was able to overcome and live victorious. I had to stop looking at my sins and look up to Christ. I had to stop making an idol of my imperfections and look up to the God of perfection for my deliverance. I had to stop fighting on my strength and let Christ be my strength. And I think that’s where most of us believers fail at, we think we can do all things and forget that it’s only through Christ. The beauty about choosing God and setting your focus on Him is that He begins to change you from the inside out, which ultimately reflects on the outside for all to see.

God is light and in Him, there is no darkness. 1st John 1:5 .When we allow Him to dwell in our lives and we surrender the reigns of control over to Him, He begins to dispel the darkness and eventually we become the light of the world, not because of any glittery glow of our own but because we are redeemed.

If today you feel like you are drowning in darkness, stop fighting the shadows; shadows are merely the absence of light. Invite the Light in, Choose God and watch the darkness melt away!