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Father’s day is here once again with us…long sigh! When you have lost a dad, you are torn between the emotions; be sad that there is a vacuum left and nothing will ever replace him or be grateful for the days you had together. This was my dilemma the entire week.

I remember taking my girl shopping for her dad’s gift and as we passed by the shoes aisle, I saw an awesome pair of boots that would have looked amazing on my dad. I froze there for a moment and could not get my legs to move because my thoughts were running all over my mind. I felt this huge wave of emotion wash over me and I stood there remembering my dad. And as much as I could feel the tears well up in my eyes, I smiled, recalling his great taste of fashion and how much he loved looking on point all the time. He would have looked classy as always in those boots.

I had a choice to break down at that moment or find my sunshine and smile my way through it so I choose the later. I choose to rejoice and I was reminded of Thessalonians 5:16-18 16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. I know celebrating father’s day without him is difficult but I choose to make it light, happy and cheerful because truth be told, despite the ups and downs life throws, I have infinite blessings to be grateful for.

Like for starters am grateful I had more than a quarter a century (yes, we are aging gracefully, lol) to share with my dad, a blessing I don’t take for granted. I know friends who have lost their dads at a young tender age, I know there are kids who will grow up without their parents. So I count myself blessed to have enjoyed a close relationship with him all throughout my life and am blessed to still have my mum by my side.

I am grateful that in so many ways I am my father’s child. I am a complete replica of him, I have his eyes, his smile, his forehead (hehe). His height? naah, my siblings took that away from me. I am grateful that when I look at myself in the mirror, am reminded so much of him and it comforts me.

I am grateful I have his sense of humour. My dad was one fun loving humorous guy, he’d walk in a room and light it up with his presence. He was the life of the party, always pulled people towards his radiance and in so many ways; I am the sanguine he was.

He loved helping out. He was the one guy you would call at 1am with a need and you’d be certain he would come rushing to your aid. He loved giving back to community. I remember after we laid him to rest and I was at his office clearing up stuff when two street boys came asking for him. They used to meet every Saturday and he would allow them to help out. It broke my heart watching their faces when I told them about what had happened, they were crushed. Funny thing no one knew he was helping them out, it was his own lil secret. Am glad that I have the same big generous heart he had and am passionate about charity work. The prayer of my heart is to submit myself to God for Him to use me as His vessel, to touch lives in the best way I possibly can, to live a fruitful life, a purpose driven life that brings glory and honor to God.

The more I remember my dad, the more I lift my hands up in praise and thanksgiving because am reminded that God loves me unconditionally, in good and bad times, through the valleys and the mountains, He still remains God, sited on the throne, unchangeable. Nothing catches Him by surprise and He has a purpose for our pain. Job 5:18 For He wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal. He never lets our pain go to waste, if we allow Him, He will use it for His glory and all things will work out for good.

As I write this am reminded of a song I love by Group 1 crew ft Chris August He said

So your life feels like it doesn’t make sense
And you think to yourself, ‘I’m a good person’
So why do these things keep happening?
Why you gotta deal with them?

You may be knocked down now
But don’t forget what He said, He said

I won’t give you more, more than you can take
And I might let you bend, but I won’t let you break
And No-o-o-o-o, I’ll never ever let you go-o-o-o-o
Don’t you forget what He said

Who you are ain’t what you are going through
So don’t let it get the best of you
Cause God knows everything you need,
So you ain’t gotta worry

You may be knocked down now
But just believe what He said, He said

Whatever valley you are going through, be encouraged that God never leaves us and He’s promised to be with us till the very end. For those who are blessed to have their dads around, treasure every day with them, call them, take them out, buy them gifts, appreciate them every chance you get. Say you love them and make it count. Because when they are gone, you’ll wish for one more chance to do this but it will be late.

For the dads out there, always remember your kids are looking up to you and will carry your legacy in their hearts and lives. Be the king in their lives; let them learn how to build an empire from watching yours.

For those who are not yet dads, don’t fret, at the right time, you will be one and how I pray that you’ll start preparing yourself to be the world’s greatest dad, regardless of whether you experienced it yourself or not, but trusting in the one example we know best, our Heavenly Father.

Happy father’s day to my all time hero, my first love, my dad and to all the men out there striving every day to be the best they can be.



It’s Friday but we are going to have a little “TBT”; a throwback all the way to our high school days. I know for some of us, this may not be a pleasant memory, depending on where you schooled at, who was your deputy head teacher, what the menu looked like (what’s a high school memory without the food) but this will be good, trust me!

Do you remember what was your most difficult subject? (and no it can’t be all of them, pick one)

Who was your teacher? (if you can’t recall their name then it probably wasn’t your difficult subject)

What was your final grade?

Now imagine if you had to take that exam one more time. You are settled in the exam hall, all set with your stationery and clip board, ready for the paper. The invigilator walks in followed closely by two armed police men. They walk around the hall ensuring that everything is in place, books are kept away, no trace of any irregularities. You know you’ve prepared for the paper the best you could but still there are butterflies swarming and churning in your stomach. That plus the fact that guns are not the friendliest sight on a day your nerves are all over the place.

Once they finish the inspection, the guards assume their position at the end of the hall and the invigilator steps to the front. He reminds you of what is expected and the time the paper will take. By this time the exam paper has been placed on your desk and you’ve whispered your prayers. But just before he lets you start the paper, he says he has an announcement to make so you all look up in anticipation. He opens up a letter from the Ministry of Education and reads out the content.

Your subject teacher has been permitted to be in the exam hall with you and assist you in any way possible. You can ask him anything, he can help you with any question, you two can discuss the paper as you note down the answers, he can remind you what he taught you, he can advise you when he sees you’re writing the wrong answers…he can do anything possible you request to ensure you pass your exam. All you have to do is ask him.

Now if this was the case; would you still struggle in that exam? Would you sit by yourself sweating it out while he stands in the room willing to assist you? Would you let yourself drown? Would you be too proud to ask for help? Would you willingly fail the exam when you knew you had all the chance to ace it? I know I would not hesitate to call him to my side, possibly offer him my seat and let him do the exam for me as I stand and watch him in awe. (I know most of us would)

This is pretty much how our walk of faith is. We are on this journey, most of the times we don’t know where it leads and which paths we are to take so there are chances we will stumble as we find our way. Some of us are too proud to ask for help and we would rather get lost in the endless maze of life. Some of us are blind, we don’t know where we are going but we would rather grope around in the dark by ourselves. Some of us are too scared to make any move so we would rather stagnate in our place tied down by the fear of the great unknown. But some of us have reached to the teacher to guide our steps and lead us to success.

Every believer has a great treasure living within us, the gift of the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 13And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, 14 who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory.) and through Him, God’s love has been poured out into our hearts. (Romans 5:5)

The Holy Spirit is our helper, our teacher, our guide, our counselor as we journey through this life. John 14: 16 “And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever—17 the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. 18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. 26But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

The Holy spirit makes all the difference in living a victorious life and through His power, we don’t need to struggle in our own inadequacies. He gives us daily, hourly and constant victory over the flesh and over sin. On our own, left to ourselves, if we try to take a step in our strength, we are helpless and we fail. It’s no wonder that most believers claim salvation yet still struggle with sin because we have not allowed the Holy Spirit to set us free from the law of sin and death. So we end up living a lie, we wear masks in churches and public spaces but when left alone we are drowning in the guilt and shame of our secret sins, our chains and bondages of addictions.

I know this well because I have been there, I’ve lived the lie, I’ve lifted my hands to praise in the presence of others but when alone I bitterly came crushing down, utterly broken and desperate. I know because I’ve had my fair share of smiling in the public and struggling by myself. But that was before I admitted that on my own I couldn’t hack it, I was a mess and I had failed enough times to know that it was not working and I needed a break through. I needed to tap in the power that lived within me all this time but I was ignorant to acknowledge His presence.

It’s been two years down the line since I truly accepted Christ in my heart and I am living testimony that through the power of the Holy Spirit, we can live victoriously, that we have been set free but it is our choice to walk in the freedom. That in this life, we can ace the test if we walk with the teacher and allow Him to guide us to the destiny that God has set for us.

He is ever present, ever willing and the best part, He is a gentleman; He’ll never force His way. All you have to do is ask Him to help and that will mark the beginning of a beautiful victorious life.

It all boils down to; how bad do you want to ace the test?



Am writing this on my way home from a long tiring crazy day at work and am in such a grouchy mood I can’t even afford a smile. And yes I know Christians should “rejoice and again I say rejoice”, lol. But hey, there are these days if we are honest enough to admit.

I can tell the day’s fatigue is the major reason for my foul mood but isn’t it funny how when we are kicked down that the devil starts whispering lies in your ears? Lies you ordinarily wouldn’t believe but now they all sound and seem so surreal. Father of all lies indeed.

So now am looking at my life with his magnifying glass and all my flaws have been illuminated so brightly it’s making me kick myself harder. Looking at ladies walking in the streets with perfect makeup, flawless skin and am reminded how am here struggling with acne and it agitates me. Watching slim fit models wearing out their curves proudly and am reminded how I am struggling with a lil fat here and a lil fat there and a lil fat everywhere in the wrong places. A chic passes by with such a long dark beautiful mane of natural hair and am reminded how am struggling with my kinky curls and coils that just won’t budge.

Then he takes it a notch higher and reminds me of the inner struggles am battling. Days I wake up too tired and lazy to have my devotions so I quickly mumble a few words and start off my day. Days I struggle to consistently read the Bible so I skim over a couple of verses and am good to go. Days I wake up and I don’t want to go to church, I want to chill in my pajamas and attend church from my couch. Days I’ve looked back at prayer requests I made and they’re yet to be answered so I doubt whether I was heard from above. He reminds me of my failures, areas I messed up, things I did, mistakes I made, tests am still falling and the list goes on and on…struggle after struggle and by the time he gets to the end, I am so drained emotionally I want to run to a corner, bury myself and weep bitterly.

But I thank God that my helper, the Holy Spirit, never leaves my side no matter how much the boat is rocked. And while I am feeling helpless and drowning in self pity, He stands by my side and gently whispers the truth that is buried underneath all the lies. That my mild acne is actually clearing up (victory dance), I‘ve lost two kgs, my hair has really grown despite the snail pace and above all, there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.( Romans 8:1 )

He points me to the cross and reminds me all my iniquities and transgressions were left there when Christ took my sins upon Himself so I could take on His righteousness and therefore I am justified. No one has the right legally to accuse me. He reminds me that daily He walks with me, sanctifies me, setting me apart and washing me in His word that He may present me as glorious, not having spots or wrinkles but that I should be holy and without blemish (Ephesians 5: 26-27). That in the eyes of Christ I am forgiven, beautiful, deeply loved, perfect and He would die for me on the cross all over again if He had to.

So yes I am flawed and broken but am broken in the hands of a Master who delights in molding me to perfection; the image of Christ. Now that doesn’t guarantee I won’t have my bad days but when I do, all I have to do is view myself in His eyes, not my eyes which may fail me, not the devil’s lies which will always condemn me, but in the eyes of the man who proved to the world that I am worth dying for and definitely worth coming back for; my eternal love- Christ!

Happy New Month and remember; decide on the truth you’ll stand on, embrace yourself as you are then wake up, get out and get moving to your destiny!


Why I stopped!

Growing up, there so many things I used to do, some which I still do but most I stopped.

I stopped doubting myself,

I stopped blaming my past,

I stopped magnifying my flaws and acting blind to the beautiful blessing I was,

I stopped beating myself hard for setting up unrealistic goals,

I stopped looking for adventures that were elusive and left me veered off on wrong paths,

I stopped entertaining people who only needed me because they thought they were better than me and my woes,

I stopped looking for validation from people who gave it at a price that costed me more than I gave,

I stopped giving first priority to people who made me feel like I was always an option to them,

I stopped expecting perfection from people,

I stopped looking for happiness everywhere else other than within,

I stopped waiting for perfect moments instead of creating them myself,

I stopped looking for so many things because I was tired of constantly feeling inadequate,

I was tired of feeling broken and messed up. I was tired of placing my worth in the hands of those who could not see past my imperfections.

I was tired of feeling I could never measure up to anything other than what the world dictated,

I was tired of carrying the heavy burdens and feeling the darkness slowly creep in on me, like a stealth hunter ganging down on his prey.

I am happy I got tired. I am happy I reached my breaking point and hit the ground hard because I didn’t have any other way than back up on my feet. And I needed to do things a different way.

I am happy I found the one thing no one could give me and it finally dawned on me that all I was looking for was not a mirage; it was something I could find in one place.

I stopped my constant search when I found more than what I ever knew I needed.

I stopped looking when I found Christ.


I Need You To Know…

I don’t know what you’re struggling with,

But I need you to know you don’t have to hold on to it.
I don’t know why you are hurting,
But I need you to know you don’t have to remain in pain.
I don’t know who betrayed you and what broke you,
But I need you to know that you can be healed.

I need you to know that it’s okay to cry but don’t drown yourself in tears.
It’s okay to hit rock bottom but don’t stay on the ground.
It’s okay to feel the darkness threatening to creep in but don’t let it engulf you without putting up a fight.

I need you to know there are days you’ll walk in dark valleys,
Days you’ll fear,
Days you’ll feel you can’t go on,
But you won’t walk alone.

“Dark valleys were meant to be walked through but they were never meant to be your final destination.
Jesus descended into darkness so that we don’t have to ever live there”

Even though I walk through the valley, I will fear no evil. Psalms 23:4


Better or Bitter….Your Choice!

I haven’t written in a long time, six months to be precise (who is keeping count, lol) and I wouldn’t call it the writer’s bug. I was not stuck in some rut with nothing to write about, matter of fact; so much was going on in my life that would make for an entertaining series. But I didn’t write, I was overwhelmed in the surroundings and momentarily paused to reflect on a few things. It’s true what they say that most of the times we get so caught up chasing big dreams and goals in life that we forget to pause and appreciate the little blessings.

I have been on a personal transformation journey these last few months and as much as I resisted it initially, looking back at the process, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I have been stretched and crumpled, broken and made whole, cast high and hit rock bottom but the one constant factor through it all was God’s hand print. I was never alone in the moments I cried myself to sleep and HE never left me on the days I was riding on a wave of happiness galore (Reminds me of a favorite verse Isaiah 43:2).

Through my journey I have picked lessons that I will share, lessons I’ve come to embrace.


I have come to appreciate that life happens in seasons & reasons and the same applies to our friends. Some friends’ breeze in our lives and stay for a season then gently fade away, like a tree shedding off its leaves in autumn. Some walk in our lives and prove themselves true to their nature by staying put through thick and thin, the friends who last a lifetime. My pain has taught me to learn the reason for a season which has made letting go so much easier. Many times we are stuck in life banging on closed doors, crying ourselves hoarse when the Lord is trying to gently pull us back and point us to another open door. I have understood rejection isn’t such a bad thing if you are bold enough to look up and learn the lesson.


For a long time I believed love was all about giving selflessly to the other party and expecting nothing back in return. So I toiled and gave my best but wondered why I ended up feeling drained and downhearted most of the times. Thing is, it’s okay to give 100% and it’s also okay to get something back in return. Its okay to expect back some courtesy, respect, care and protection, honesty, trust and fidelity. Staying in a situation where you’re unappreciated isn’t called loyalty; it’s called breaking your own heart.

Self Love

Having chicken pox in your mid twenties, just when you’ve nurtured your skin to an almost clear state was to say the most daunting. It magnified the cracks of how I viewed myself and revealed how much I cherished other people’s opinions. I hid myself indoors throughout the healing and kept off mirrors because I couldn’t stand the sight of my face. Looking back I can laugh at how silly I made that mole hill become such a gigantic mountain. Yes I still have the scars but I have grown to love myself deeply, accept my flaws and embrace the beauty in my imperfections.


My family is my rock and the blessing am ever grateful for. We are not just siblings; we’re the best of friends. When all is gone in life and what you have left is your family, you have everything you need in life. They’ve taught me to laugh at silly things, cry in hard times, love deeply at all times and give wholeheartedly. I would sacrifice my all for them.

Spiritual walk & Purpose

This may be the last lesson but by far most the greatest foundation in my life. I am unashamedly born again and boldly confess Christ as my Lord and Savior. I am nothing without HIM and in HIM I am everything. My walk of faith has been tried & tested and I emerged more intimate with my God. I believe there is a purpose in pain, just like there is a test in every testimony and the beauty of it is God promises that HE will not let us be tempted beyond what we can bear and HE provides a way out.(1st Corinthians 10:13)


We all go through difficult times in life and the major challenge to ourselves should be, “Will it make you bitter or better” because the choice is yours!