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Conversations with Daddy

Conversations with Daddy

Dear Daddy….

Daddy….

2018 has been real, lol. We have had our ups and downs but through it all, You’ve carried me gracefully till the end. I am amazed at Your faithfulness and Your unconditional love. Now I believe that nothing can separate me from Your love, not my flaws, not my fears, not my doubts, not my shortcomings, not my failures or my stubbornness, not my ingratitude. Absolutely nothing. I must admit it’s a beautiful place to be, a place I am unafraid of You and our relationship, a perfect place to be; there is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1st John 4:18.

I no longer have to hide or run away from You when I fail or fall because I know You’ll  pick me up when I confess, because I fully believe that You are faithful and just, that You will forgive my sins and cleanse me from all unrighteousness. I no longer have to be ashamed or feel condemned because am in You and there is therefore now no condemnation.

I have had time to reflect on this year 2018 reflections and there are infinite blessings You’ve showered on me. Some I didn’t even expect but oh well, what catches You by surprise, right, lol …indeed Your thoughts are way higher than mine. I want this prayer to be about the things I’d like You to do for me in 2019, a part of me really wants to give You a list, and that’s me been honest with You. A list full of desires I have, wants and wishes, at the risk of sounding selfish because it’s all about me.

One thing I’ve come to learn and believe as we journey together in our walk of faith is that even before I ask, You already know what I need. You are working things, all things together for my good ,You are intentional and ultimately Your plans for me are good, are perfect and pleasing. It has taken us some fighting to get to this place, times I wanted to snatch the reign of control away from You, times I stomped out and rebelled out of Your way and will but am at peace and glad we have come to this place where I have grown to trust in You with the unknown.

I am not worried about 2019. I know it will work out exactly the way You have purposed it to but I must confess am having a lil concern. No its not You, it possibly can’t be You, lol, I know You are faithful to keep Your end of the deal. It’s me. Am afraid my heart is not at the right place, am afraid am not yet broken completely before You. I know there are bigger plans and bigger goals You are lining up for me but am afraid that when You open those doors, will I still be faithful to You? When You answer those prayers I’ve secretly said all these years, will I still keep You in the picture? When You give me bigger platforms to stand on, will I still give You back all the glory or will my head swell a little in pride? Will my life still be an audience of one, You and me, or will I seek to please people and conform to the world? Will I still seek You with all of my heart? Will I still worship You in truth and spirit?

Let’s be honest, it’s easy to walk with You when I have nothing, but when You give me everything, will I still place You at the centre and confess that You are my all? These thoughts and questions scare me Daddy. I don’t want to ever be separated from You and I don’t know if I should be having these thoughts in the first place, I just want to be vulnerable with You.

I know Your word says that You are able to keep me from falling, and to present me faultless before the presence of Your glory with exceeding joy Jude 24 and I also know that You are faithful to complete the good work You have began in me. But my sincere prayer for 2019 is that Daddy please work on my heart. I don’t want to live for me but for You. I don’t want to take any credit for what happens in my life, I don’t want people to look at me and see me, I want them to see You. I want all the glory to go back to You. I want none of me and all of You. I don’t want to make a single move without Your approval. I don’t want to step out without asking You how You feel or what You have to say about that move.

Nothing expresses what am feeling more beautifully than this song, You Covered me by Dr. R. A. Vernon

I don’t wanna sing the latest song,

I don’t want to percolate the crowd,

I just wanna make You smile,

I don’t care who thinks I’m right or wrong,

I don’t care who tries to calm me down,

I just wanna praise You now.

 

You covered me in the midst of it all,

You love me, gave me another chance,

You saw my needs when others saw my faults,

You forgave me.

 

I don’t have to listen for my name,

They don’t have to walk me down the aisle,

I just wanna make You proud,

Should I make the hall of fame,

Or they save a special seat,

I just hope that You’ll be pleased.

 

So in my life, in my life be glorified,

(Be glorified, be glorified)

So in my life, in my life,

(Be glorified, be glorified)

 

You get the glory,

You get the praise,

You take the honor,

I just want to say ,

Thank You Jesus.

Thank You Lord,

For everything You will do,

For Your grace and Your mercy thank You Jesus,

I have a grateful heart and I’m saying thank You.

 

This song breaks me into tears and it’s my utmost prayer. When all is said and done, may it be said of me that I loved You more than anything and I spent my life walking with You and letting others see Your love and light through me.

May I always be submitted to your will.

May I never forget am the clay and You are the potter, You decide how I turn out to be.

May I not be distracted by the things of the world, by life’s worries, pleasures and riches such that the word I have hidden in my heart is choked up.

May I never stop seeking you,

May I never stop growing in you.

May I never glorify anything or anyone above you.

If that’s all I get for 2019, I have everything I need because I’ll have You.

Lord thank You for everything You have done, everything You are doing and everything You are going to do. In the name of Jesus I pray with much love and thanksgiving….

Amen.

Conversations with Daddy

Welcome Back Home Child!

Me: Hi Daddy..

God: Hello my babygirl.

Accuser: Oh look who’s back.. Been a while don’t you think? ( rolls eyes )😏

Me: I know it’s been a while Daddy. It’s not you, it’s me..

God: Hehe..I hear you.

Accuser: (Rolls eyes) Here we go again.

Me: (starts to feel uncertain) Ummmm… How have you been Daddy?😐

God: Thanks for asking child but I should be the one asking. How are you? Truly..?

Me: (bites lips) Well.. I.. I.. I don’t know, honestly..😔

Accuser: Oh really.. I’ll tell you how she is.. Or rather what she’s done, hehe.. This is juicy😈

God: Am having a conversation with my daughter, I didn’t ask for your intervention. Now shush.

Accuser: Oh😑😒

God: Babygirl talk to me😍

Me: Daddy I don’t know what to say. I ran away from you again. I messed up..big time. Am sorry😔

Accuser :Oh I bet you are. You always are, I bet the last time you messed up you were sorry, hehe.. 😈. And the next,time you’ll be sorry, how pathetic don’t you think? Always one mess after the other.. We should call you messi😆

Me: 😖😞😟

God:  As far as the east is from the west so far have I removed your transgressions. 😍

Accuser: Damn😶

Me: Daddy you mean that?

God: Yes I do my little love, I truly do.

Me: 😭😭I don’t know why I do the things I do when I know it hurts you. I’d never understand why. Am at a place in my life where am tired of all the lies and the pain I feel inside. I want to make it right.

Accuser: Fake tears🙄. You know why you do what you do. Cz you’re a sinner, always have , always will.

Me: 😭😭Daddy I want to make things right.. I have nothing else to give except my life. Please accept this offering. I present my body, my sacrifice..

Accuser : Oh just give up already. You can’t live right. You fail over and over🤣😈

Me: No.. Am running back to Daddy. With my hands lifted high, I give you my heart and I give you my life.. 😭

Accuser : Hehehe.. You’re a funny lil girl. You can’t make it. You won’t make it.

Me: Seventy time seventy God forgives me and He does it daily.

Accuser : Let’s just get done with this shenanigans once and for all, huh😒

God: It’s finished… It..

(Interrupts excitedly) Accuser :Hehe.. Yes she’s finished. 😂😂😂😂

Me:😭😭😭

God: It is finished. (Points to the cross)

Accuser: 🙄😲😦😧😨😩

God :Babygirl lift your head up. It is finished. There is therefore now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. My Son,Your savior, finished it at the cross. He died for you. To save you. To reconcile you back to me. 😍

Me:😭😭😭 I don’t mean to be emotional but sometimes I cry when I think of all the pain that I cause you inside but you still love me😍😍

Accuser : But.. But.. How🤔🤔

God: Points him to the cross.

Me: 🤩 I don’t ever want to take advantage of your Grace and the sacrifice you’ve made. I have to make it right.

Accuser :So just like that she’s off the hook 🙄🙄

Me: At the end of the day, at the end of the day, He loves me. Daddy your love is unbelievable, your love is so amazing. Your love is unconditional😍😍

****************************

P.S You still Love me by Tasha Cobbs has been on my replay the entire week and ultimately some lyrics found their way here as responses,lol. I don’t know what you have done or how far you have fallen off the walk of faith, but be encouraged today that God doesn’t change how He looks at you. His love remains steadfast. His love remains unconditional. He doesn’t give up on you. Never has and never will. He is still waiting for you to come back home. All you need to do is turn back and face home, face Him. That’s the first step.

Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you. James 4:8

Come Home. He is waiting. He still loves you!