I haven’t written in a long time, six months to be precise (who is keeping count, lol) and I wouldn’t call it the writer’s bug. I was not stuck in some rut with nothing to write about, matter of fact; so much was going on in my life that would make for an entertaining series. But I didn’t write, I was overwhelmed in the surroundings and momentarily paused to reflect on a few things. It’s true what they say that most of the times we get so caught up chasing big dreams and goals in life that we forget to pause and appreciate the little blessings.
I have been on a personal transformation journey these last few months and as much as I resisted it initially, looking back at the process, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I have been stretched and crumpled, broken and made whole, cast high and hit rock bottom but the one constant factor through it all was God’s hand print. I was never alone in the moments I cried myself to sleep and HE never left me on the days I was riding on a wave of happiness galore (Reminds me of a favorite verse Isaiah 43:2).
Through my journey I have picked lessons that I will share, lessons I’ve come to embrace.
I have come to appreciate that life happens in seasons & reasons and the same applies to our friends. Some friends’ breeze in our lives and stay for a season then gently fade away, like a tree shedding off its leaves in autumn. Some walk in our lives and prove themselves true to their nature by staying put through thick and thin, the friends who last a lifetime. My pain has taught me to learn the reason for a season which has made letting go so much easier. Many times we are stuck in life banging on closed doors, crying ourselves hoarse when the Lord is trying to gently pull us back and point us to another open door. I have understood rejection isn’t such a bad thing if you are bold enough to look up and learn the lesson.
For a long time I believed love was all about giving selflessly to the other party and expecting nothing back in return. So I toiled and gave my best but wondered why I ended up feeling drained and downhearted most of the times. Thing is, it’s okay to give 100% and it’s also okay to get something back in return. Its okay to expect back some courtesy, respect, care and protection, honesty, trust and fidelity. Staying in a situation where you’re unappreciated isn’t called loyalty; it’s called breaking your own heart.
Having chicken pox in your mid twenties, just when you’ve nurtured your skin to an almost clear state was to say the most daunting. It magnified the cracks of how I viewed myself and revealed how much I cherished other people’s opinions. I hid myself indoors throughout the healing and kept off mirrors because I couldn’t stand the sight of my face. Looking back I can laugh at how silly I made that mole hill become such a gigantic mountain. Yes I still have the scars but I have grown to love myself deeply, accept my flaws and embrace the beauty in my imperfections.
My family is my rock and the blessing am ever grateful for. We are not just siblings; we’re the best of friends. When all is gone in life and what you have left is your family, you have everything you need in life. They’ve taught me to laugh at silly things, cry in hard times, love deeply at all times and give wholeheartedly. I would sacrifice my all for them.
Spiritual walk & Purpose
This may be the last lesson but by far most the greatest foundation in my life. I am unashamedly born again and boldly confess Christ as my Lord and Savior. I am nothing without HIM and in HIM I am everything. My walk of faith has been tried & tested and I emerged more intimate with my God. I believe there is a purpose in pain, just like there is a test in every testimony and the beauty of it is God promises that HE will not let us be tempted beyond what we can bear and HE provides a way out.(1st Corinthians 10:13)
We all go through difficult times in life and the major challenge to ourselves should be, “Will it make you bitter or better” because the choice is yours!