All Posts By

Njeri Muthuya

Inspiration Motivation

Blooming and Becoming: advise to an 18 year old!

This past weekend I had the privilege of attending our first ladies fellowship in 2019 at my home church, Trinity Chapel Ruiru dubbed “New Beginnings”. It was truly a blessing to be in the presence of God and women who are yielded to Christ, witnessing the Holy Spirit move in our midst, stirring up our spirits and souls, bringing a wave of restoration from all the baggage we so heavily carry in our hearts. It is always refreshing being in the presence of like-minded spirits who are intentional about pursuing Christ relentlessly from all ages, the teenagers to the gracefully aged ladies. When we walk alone we walk fast but when we walk with others we get far… That’s the core lesson I’ve picked in my walk of faith, the power of accountability in fellowships.

I recall one question that really got me thinking: If you could go back to being 18 again, what would you do differently? Well first of all, I so wish that was practical because I’d literally run back and do things totally differently, lol… But since I can’t, I can only look back in wisdom and share insights that could help a different 18 year old.

  1. Finding Yourself:

It’s never that serious: the peer pressure as they try to influence you that you’re missing out on some phase or that if you don’t do something you’ll not be cool… that’s never serious. F. O. M. O. (Fear of Missing Out) only exists in the minds of those who don’t know where they are in life and what they want to achieve. I know at 18 you are transitioning from a child into adulthood, trying to figure out life on your terms and fighting your way to independence which is totally understandable. At this stage in life you are yet to truly understand who you are or where you want to be but be 100% sure about who you are not and where you will not step into. Be sure about things you’ll not do, places and spaces you’ll not find yourself in.

You may not yet figure out your fashion sense but be firm that you’ll not compromise on decency while blindly chasing the latest fashion styles.

You may not yet figure out things you love or your hobbies but be firm that you’ll not compromise on your integrity trying to fit in with cliques that you can out rightly tell are doing the wrong things.

You may not yet figure out who you want to be in life but be firm on who you’ll not be, you’ll not be a laughing example to others, you’ll not let others be the ones who learn from your mistakes, you’ll not be caught up pursuing things that don’t add value to your life.

It’s okay to not know where you’re heading to but please be firm on where you’ll not end up at. Like they say, if you don’t stand for something, you’ll end up falling for anything.

  1. Finding Friendships:

Once you’ve figured out where you’ll not want to end up at, it becomes so easy picking and forming friendships because you know what you’re looking for. You’ll not end up being the one who always compromises to fit in circles that you didn’t belong to from the very first start. You’ll not fall into peer pressure and end up doing the wrong things because you have firm principles that you’re standing on. You’ll not pick friends who are walking in the opposite direction from where you desire to be.

You’ll be more intentional in choosing a circle that adds value and pushes you in the right direction; friends who share the same values as you, friends who have a positive outlook on life. Some will have figured out where they want to be in life and this will be great because they’ll hold your hand and guide you in finding your path. But even if they won’t have figured it out, you’ll get a chance to be on a discovery journey and form lifelong friendships that will define a big part of your life.

Don’t force friendships. Some will last a season, some will last a lifetime. Be wise enough to know the difference and have the courage to walk away when the time is right. Some friendships are worth fighting for and others are not…when it drains your peace, when it’s toxic for you, when it’s no longer adding value, when it’s one way, when you are both growing apart and not in the same journey, have the courage to find yourself in a different space. Accept that people will walk away from you and most times it will have lil to do with you but with their season in your life. While at it, ensure you enjoy your friendships to the fullest, give your all, be the best support to them while you can so that when time is up, you don’t walk away feeling regrets, feeling doubts that you are to blame, that you could have done better.

  1. Finding Love.

You’re too young to be thinking about love right now, lol… but I understand you’re on the journey of self-discovery and at some point you’ll find yourself liking someone of the opposite sex, some you’ll crush hard on, some will be infatuations to last a minute and some won’t easily fade away. It’s normal. Do yourself a big favour, don’t get into this space if you’ve not figured out your standards and your values.

The biggest risk would be falling for someone without understanding yourself then sadly end up compromising everything to please them. You neglect yourself and pour out your heart and soul to someone who doesn’t feel the same way. Heartbreak is a love unrequited. Don’t be in a rush to find love, take time to know who they are, build on friendship, discover their likes, dislikes, hobbies, secrets. Find out all you can about them, at least what they are willing to share. Then you can figure out if you’re on the same page of life or not.

I’ll be very honest, most relationships that start out in teenage years rarely make it past the age of 25. Why? Because at 18 you’re both young, naive in matters of life, you’re still grappling around trying to understand yourselves. You’re in the journey of becoming. Once you get to 25, you’ve changed, they’ve changed and thus high chances of falling out because they are not the person you thought they were, well neither are you. And it’s not because you are the wrong person, neither are they… It’s simply because you both discover you’re in different paths of life and can’t walk together again.

Find yourself before you find the other person. Become the person the one you’re looking for is searching for.

  1. Family:

At 18 am sure you feel that your parents are always opposing you and know nothing about what you’re going through. Biggest lie of all times. Your family is the only support that is true and unconditional. They tell you as it. They love you as you are. They accept you with all you have. Don’t be in a rush to grow up and move out. Have a teachable spirit, learn from their lives, and enjoy bonding with them because they are the best at helping you discover yourself in the safest space void of discrimination or judgements.

Deliberately spend time with your folks, get to know them and build on a genuine friendship with them, they just want the best for you. Make your family your friends and I assure you that’s the best emotional investment of all times. One day when you’re older and in need, you’ll have them to lean on for support and it won’t be awkward because home will always be your familiar place. Enjoy playing with your nephews and nieces, delightfully help out your young siblings, and support your parents by being a good obedient child. Family time is always the best time.

  1. Finding God:

Lastly but most important of all, find God for yourself, get to know Him, not just knowing about Him. Pursue an intimate relationship and a true connection with Christ. Not because your parents demand your presence in church every Sunday, not because your church has a cool teenage program where you can hang out with your buddies. Pursue Him because you genuinely want to experience Him. Am pretty sure you’ve grown up with some sort of connection spiritually but nothing brings exceeding joy and satisfaction than nurturing that relationship yourself. And the best part about knowing and growing in Christ is that everything outside Him fits and falls perfectly in place.

A relationship with God will lead you on a journey of self-discovery, you’ll get to know your worth, your identity rooted in how God sees you and you’ll blossom into the individual you were created to be. You’ll discover your gifts and talents early enough, you’ll learn how to love unconditionally because you’ll have tasted first hand true love from God who is LOVE himself. He will teach you how to better relate with others, how to be kind, compassionate, merciful, understanding, how to see people how He sees them.

Your best life will begin once you start living it in Christ. I am a living testimony, no regrets but the one thing I would change if I was 18 again was this, to pursue God with all of my heart. I know it doesn’t mean that my life would have being perfect or smooth, but there would be a huge difference and comfort sailing in storms with God than drowning out in the dark alone.

*****************************

In a nutshell, to the 18 year olds out there, you are young and free. Live authentically. Be boldly unashamed of who you are. Never stop learning. Never stop evolving into your best version. Want more and become more. You live once so while at it, make the journey worthwhile and leave the best legacy in your space.

Lots of love,

From a gracefully aged, once upon a time naïve 18 year old.

 

 

Inspiration Motivation

To New Beginnings…

It’s the second week of 2019 and I must confess am still secretly excited about the New Year. Am one of those peeps who’ll still say a hello with a ‘Happy New Year’…yes, don’t judge. For me this feels like a clean slate where all my 2018 shortcomings and failures have been wiped clean and I get a do-over. It’s like being handed a blank canvas and I get to write my story and create a beautiful master piece.

Severally I’ve sat and stared at the canvas wondering what I want my 2019 story to be. There are many bits and pieces of what I want but am utterly clueless on how the story line will flow. I have goals, desires, dreams, wish lists etc. but I don’t control my destiny, my Creator does.

“Mortals make elaborate plans, but God has the last word. Humans are satisfied with whatever looks good; God probes for what is good. Put God in charge of your work, then what you’ve planned will take place.” Proverbs 16:1-3 MSG

As I was meditating about my goals and successes I needed to achieve this year, the Spirit was keen on reminding me key lessons from the above scriptures;

  1. The What:

What  goals do I want to achieve in 2019?

Lord knows I have a whole list written down detailing all spheres of life (Spiritual, Emotional, Intellectual, Financial, Social, Physical and Career) and the specific goals I have in mind and at heart lol.

I love writing down my vision and game plan because it puts my mind in focus and helps align all my thoughts, words and actions towards that direction. It sort of becomes my compass to guide me and walk intentionally throughout the year. For me writing it down becomes an act of faith that am trusting God with all these dreams and am putting it down because I know He is faithful to bring it to fruition. Nothing scares Him and nothing is off limits to Him, He is limitless and the God of all impossibilities.

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do and He will establish your plans”

  1. The Why:

Why do I want to achieve those goals?

God is very intentional about the motives behind our plans, the ‘why we do what we do’. As I list my goals, am very sensitive in asking the Spirit to reveal to me my heart and the motives behind wanting to achieve these successes. At times we want things for very selfish reasons and I must confess am a victim of this. We want material wealth so we can slay, look good and appear successful to the world; we put ourselves first on the list.

Am not saying wanting wealth for ourselves is bad because we have our needs as humans but if that’s all we will do with it, if our blessings will not bless other people, make a difference in the lives of people around us, then what makes us believe that God will give us in excess? “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. Luke 16:10

This is clearly highlighted in James 4:3 “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures”

My prayer is that I set my goals, my heart and motives will be aligned to God’s will and my mind-set will shift to being Eternity driven and Kingdom focused.

  1. The How:

How do I intend to achieve those goals?

We make our plans but God always has the final say because He orders our steps. It’s fruitless to start anything without asking God what His direction and purpose is. That can be likened to walking around blindfolded helplessly groping in the dark for direction yet we can ask for help and guidance from God. He promised to give us a helper and He kept His word. We have the Holy Spirit to be our guide, our teacher, our counsellor, our comforter and our all in this journey. What I love most, about the Holy Spirit, among many other things, is that He is such a gentleman, He will not force Himself on us. He patiently waits for us to invite Him in our lives, in our hearts, in our daily walk.

I don’t intend to do anything this year without the Spirit guiding me and my prayer is that I will not place anything or anyone above God. It’s His way, His will. God of all or nothing at all.

Am totally clueless on how the future will be but who’s worried about that? Not me, lol. God doesn’t ask us to know the way, He just asks that we trust that He already knows and He’s the one leading us. I don’t want to get so caught up in the destination that I miss out on what God will do along the journey. God is literally the ONLY THING am sure of and am intentional about allowing Him to guide my every step so am confident that am exactly where I need to be. With every day I know am inching closer to my destination and most importantly closer to Him.

This morning I received a great insight on Genesis 6-8 from a friend who is walking with me in the journey of reading the entire bible in one year. He said” God asked Noah to build the ark. He gave him the plan, the resources, brought in the animals and shut them in. All Noah had to do was obey and walk in faith.” This hit home hard, many are the times God calls us to do something big and we cower in fear, our carnal mind trying to figure out how to do. We forget that if God calls you to something, He funds it 100% and provides everything we need. All that is required from us is trusting and obeying.

In 2019, may we not burden ourselves with the worries of how to do it but may we boldly walk with confidence in God knowing that all things are working for our good..

Happy New Year beloveds and cheers to new beginnings!

Conversations with Daddy

Dear Daddy….

Daddy….

2018 has been real, lol. We have had our ups and downs but through it all, You’ve carried me gracefully till the end. I am amazed at Your faithfulness and Your unconditional love. Now I believe that nothing can separate me from Your love, not my flaws, not my fears, not my doubts, not my shortcomings, not my failures or my stubbornness, not my ingratitude. Absolutely nothing. I must admit it’s a beautiful place to be, a place I am unafraid of You and our relationship, a perfect place to be; there is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1st John 4:18.

I no longer have to hide or run away from You when I fail or fall because I know You’ll  pick me up when I confess, because I fully believe that You are faithful and just, that You will forgive my sins and cleanse me from all unrighteousness. I no longer have to be ashamed or feel condemned because am in You and there is therefore now no condemnation.

I have had time to reflect on this year 2018 reflections and there are infinite blessings You’ve showered on me. Some I didn’t even expect but oh well, what catches You by surprise, right, lol …indeed Your thoughts are way higher than mine. I want this prayer to be about the things I’d like You to do for me in 2019, a part of me really wants to give You a list, and that’s me been honest with You. A list full of desires I have, wants and wishes, at the risk of sounding selfish because it’s all about me.

One thing I’ve come to learn and believe as we journey together in our walk of faith is that even before I ask, You already know what I need. You are working things, all things together for my good ,You are intentional and ultimately Your plans for me are good, are perfect and pleasing. It has taken us some fighting to get to this place, times I wanted to snatch the reign of control away from You, times I stomped out and rebelled out of Your way and will but am at peace and glad we have come to this place where I have grown to trust in You with the unknown.

I am not worried about 2019. I know it will work out exactly the way You have purposed it to but I must confess am having a lil concern. No its not You, it possibly can’t be You, lol, I know You are faithful to keep Your end of the deal. It’s me. Am afraid my heart is not at the right place, am afraid am not yet broken completely before You. I know there are bigger plans and bigger goals You are lining up for me but am afraid that when You open those doors, will I still be faithful to You? When You answer those prayers I’ve secretly said all these years, will I still keep You in the picture? When You give me bigger platforms to stand on, will I still give You back all the glory or will my head swell a little in pride? Will my life still be an audience of one, You and me, or will I seek to please people and conform to the world? Will I still seek You with all of my heart? Will I still worship You in truth and spirit?

Let’s be honest, it’s easy to walk with You when I have nothing, but when You give me everything, will I still place You at the centre and confess that You are my all? These thoughts and questions scare me Daddy. I don’t want to ever be separated from You and I don’t know if I should be having these thoughts in the first place, I just want to be vulnerable with You.

I know Your word says that You are able to keep me from falling, and to present me faultless before the presence of Your glory with exceeding joy Jude 24 and I also know that You are faithful to complete the good work You have began in me. But my sincere prayer for 2019 is that Daddy please work on my heart. I don’t want to live for me but for You. I don’t want to take any credit for what happens in my life, I don’t want people to look at me and see me, I want them to see You. I want all the glory to go back to You. I want none of me and all of You. I don’t want to make a single move without Your approval. I don’t want to step out without asking You how You feel or what You have to say about that move.

Nothing expresses what am feeling more beautifully than this song, You Covered me by Dr. R. A. Vernon

I don’t wanna sing the latest song,

I don’t want to percolate the crowd,

I just wanna make You smile,

I don’t care who thinks I’m right or wrong,

I don’t care who tries to calm me down,

I just wanna praise You now.

 

You covered me in the midst of it all,

You love me, gave me another chance,

You saw my needs when others saw my faults,

You forgave me.

 

I don’t have to listen for my name,

They don’t have to walk me down the aisle,

I just wanna make You proud,

Should I make the hall of fame,

Or they save a special seat,

I just hope that You’ll be pleased.

 

So in my life, in my life be glorified,

(Be glorified, be glorified)

So in my life, in my life,

(Be glorified, be glorified)

 

You get the glory,

You get the praise,

You take the honor,

I just want to say ,

Thank You Jesus.

Thank You Lord,

For everything You will do,

For Your grace and Your mercy thank You Jesus,

I have a grateful heart and I’m saying thank You.

 

This song breaks me into tears and it’s my utmost prayer. When all is said and done, may it be said of me that I loved You more than anything and I spent my life walking with You and letting others see Your love and light through me.

May I always be submitted to your will.

May I never forget am the clay and You are the potter, You decide how I turn out to be.

May I not be distracted by the things of the world, by life’s worries, pleasures and riches such that the word I have hidden in my heart is choked up.

May I never stop seeking you,

May I never stop growing in you.

May I never glorify anything or anyone above you.

If that’s all I get for 2019, I have everything I need because I’ll have You.

Lord thank You for everything You have done, everything You are doing and everything You are going to do. In the name of Jesus I pray with much love and thanksgiving….

Amen.

Inspiration

Give Thanks in all Things..

Yesterday I went to bed totally elated and excited because God had done something so amazing, I was over the moon. It wasn’t some big miracle, lol… It was a lil reward for simply obeying to His prompting but I’ll let you be the judge of that.

I was in a matatu heading home after a long hard day both at work & class and all I wanted to do was catch up on social media. Which was what I was doing up until the bus was full and we started heading out of town. That’s when the Spirit gently nudged, “Please put your phone away, we don’t want to make someone else rich.” I automatically smiled because He got my attention because let’s be honest, hehe…whose senses don’t heighten when money is mentioned?

So I promptly put my phone away and sat upright. In less than 6 minutes we had a slam on the side of the matatu and before I could turn the lady seated behind me screamed so loudly. Her phone had just been snatched from her hands and  there was nothing she could do about it but sit there and cry. I was perplexed to say the least. In my mind all I was thinking was, “Darn, that could have been me, that could have been me, that could have been me.”

I was rattled on the outside, feeling terrible for the lady but deep inside I was breaking out in praise because God had snatched me and my phone away from the snatcher.. Lol. That’s how He made my night and I went to bed feeling so loved and protected even in the little matters.️️

I would be lying if I told you that that’s how our relationship always is, all rosy and lovey dovey, like nothing ever goes wrong.

I woke up this morning and like the imperfect human I am, I forgot all about His doing the previous night. I think it must be the hormones and all, lol, let’s put the blame there. But the minute I stepped out of the house and realized it was raining I got so furious with God. I was ridiculously mad because who does that, who allows the heavens to open up and have a major downpour in the morning when His children are going to work? Doesn’t He care about their health or how they’ll manoeuvre to work? Especially those who were not driving and depended on public transport. I was seething and burning with rage.

I didn’t want to listen to what the Spirit had to say at that particular point. I walked in the rain venting out all frustrations on Him, complaining that He didn’t care about me and if I got to work drenched or late. I got to the stage and there was no bus or matatu which fueled my lil tantrum more because I was forced to take a motorbike to the highway to get a ride.

By the time I was sitted in the matatu I was fussy and wanted a time out:

God: Baby girl…

Me: I don’t feel like talking right now.

God: Talk to me child. .

Me: No. I don’t want to. We are on time out.

God: What did I… What’s the issue?

Me: Am so pissed, am drenched, am cold, am late. As in why let it rain in the morning? Why not at night? Are you punishing me for snoozing my alarm? Maybe if I left the house earlier I wouldn’t get rained on. I thought you loved me. I don’t feel loved right now. I feel…

God: Young lady watch your tongue. I maybe Papa but don’t forget who I am in entirety.

Me: Now I feel scolded and hurt. I thought you said I could come to you and be real and raw and open up, no faking or putting up shows.

God: Yes you can baby girl and I want you to be vulnerable and broken before me but don’t cross lines child. I am still your God.

Me: I don’t feel like talking anymore. Am sorry…

At this point am feeling all sorts of emotions, hurt and guilty…hurt because am still on tantrum riot but more so guilty because He has a point and I have crossed lines. I hate hurting Him but for now am too proud to say am sorry so I look away. I grab my phone, start scrolling through Facebook and I can feel the Spirit watching me, waiting for us to have this conversation and iron it out but am trying hard to ignore His conviction.

As am scrolling I come across my favourite writer, John Piper, Desiring God. It’s an article titled suffering can save your prayer life   https://www.desiringgod.org/messages/put-in-the-fire-for-the-sake-of-prayer/excerpts/suffering-can-save-your-prayer-life

At once I smile to myself because He knows how to get my attention, lol. At this point I feel He’s smiling back to me, probably thinking, “gotcha lil lady, can’t run away from me for long”.  I read through the article and am deeply convicted I want to break down and cry because the lesson from the article is God puts us in the fire to awaken earnest prayers. As I shared in 2018 Reflections God had been teaching me to trust in Him at all times, good or bad. So for today, I had failed the test, lol but it really never is failure if we learn the lesson.

God is good at all times, times when He’s my protector, saving my phone from thieves and bad times when He opens the heavens and allows me to get rained on.. He still is a good God. Am actually glad it rained and I got fussy because I learned a big lesson: God rescues us from the flames of hell then puts us into refining flames so we can seek Him diligently and learn how to submit ourselves to Him.

Am not fussy anymore, you can’t really be mad for long at a God who knows you intimately, doesn’t get mad at your imperfections, who accepts you just as you are, flaws and all and above all, a Saviour who would willingly die on the cross all over again just for you.

I learn, I fail, He still patiently takes me back to class for the lesson again knowing that I will pass because am His child and learn from the best. I am loved, what more could I want.

Love and blessings.

 

Inspiration Motivation

2018 REFLECTIONS

33 days till the end of 2018…just thinking about that gives me chills down my spine. Indeed time flies and 2018 credits are almost about to roll up. I haven’t posted in a while and part of me wants to delve into how and why that’s been the case, lol, because who’s not good at coming up with excuses. Can’t say am not. So I won’t justify a thing. But I woke up this morning in a thankful and reflective spirit, excited that God has been super faithful and gracious to carry me through this far. Indeed if it was not for God, I wouldn’t be standing let alone breathing.

I can’t help but look back at my 2018 journey and part of me wants to secretly break down and cry because God has come through for me exceedingly, abundantly and above all I ever could think, ask or imagine. There are prayers I didn’t make but still He opened doors. There are prayers I made and He faithfully answered. There are prayers I’ve made and still am making and He hasn’t said No, He’s working out things I believe in my favour and for His glory so am patiently waiting in the hallway as I praise Him for His goodness.

If there’s a main lesson God has taught me this year, it’s knowing, believing, confessing and living in the confidence that God is still God at all times, good and bad, He still remains to be a good God. This isn’t one of the lessons you learn in class while sitted and smiling, heaven no, lol. I’ve had to learn this while sinking into low valleys, crawling in lonely deserts, burning out from the scorching sun, hitting rock bottom moments that leave you broken, bruised and hurting.

Those moments you have no else to turn to but God. Those moments you try praying but can’t make a sound, you can only whimper and cry, moments you try journaling but instead of ink, tears become your pen. And my biggest challenge was, would I still trust in God? Would I still cling onto Him? Would I still praise Him in the darkest of nights? Would I still sing that He is a good good Father? Would I still decree that He is good all the times and all the times He is good?

I have to be honest, I didn’t learn that lesson the first time He took me out of the class. I confidently flopped like a pro, lol. There’s no shame in admitting that at first I couldn’t fathom why God had to allow or watch my heart break and go through such pain. I doubted Him. I doubted my walk of faith. I couldn’t get myself to praise Him. I walked in bitterness. The funny bit was that was just the first test which was mildly a first grade level but still this girl failed.

All along the year, there are tests I aced and there are those I failed, which in my mind the latter seem to be the most, fortunately or unfortunately but am glad because out of the failures and mistakes were lessons to be cherished and experiences to grow and groom me. I can confidently say am not the girl I was at the beginning of the year. She’s blossoming bit by bit. I don’t look like the masterpiece I desire but as long as I keep walking with my Master, what won’t He do? He is faithful to complete the good work He began in me and am confident that all things will be beautiful in His timing.

God has taught me to walk in forgiveness by bringing back people in my life who we had fallen out so terribly in 2017. At first it was painful reliving the hurt and pain but it was necessary as a starting point for the healing process. It was hard getting to trust them and open up myself to them again. Initially it was a make believe walk, I was putting up behind a mask, making myself believe I didn’t have to do this intentionally but God sees through our hearts and the motives behind our actions. He saw through me and deeply convicted me that I was only lying to myself and hindering Him from working in me. I had to be vulnerable, had to let them in and let the façade slowly fade out. And true to His word God came through in ways I could never imagine, He not only brought healing and restoration, He answered a prayer I had been making for so long, a prayer that every lil girl dreams and prays about and am excited about this journey (who knew the blessing would come through my obedience.)

I had to learn to forgive and let go of some aspects so that God would lead me to new areas of faith. This called for some changes which initially were scary, just the thought of starting all over again made my heart skip some beats but looking back at the place I am currently, am glad I made the move. Moving churches was a decision I struggled with but it led me home, a place I had been searching for all along. The change brought in new people, new circles, and new levels of faith. It gave me a chance to start building my faith all over again, to be intentional about my walk by undertaking a discipleship class – Mizizi-plugging into your God give purpose. God had already being teaching me about opening up to people who can hold me accountable so I didn’t struggle with that. The journey has been beautiful, to say the least, bonding with my plug in team (amazing group), a fun but fruitful retreat. Completing the class and joining ministry has got to be the highlight of the season, that plus going for my first mission out of town (Positioned for impact) I can’t wait to see what 2019 has in store.

God taught me to leap out in faith, to pursue my passion and the calling that had been burning in me for so long, to step out from fear and walk in confidence, reminding me that the righteous are bold like lions. After struggling with it for a while, I was convicted and made my move and the blog was born, my walk of faith. I remember the fears I harbored, fear that I would have nothing to write, fear that I would fail and stop, fears that I wasn’t perfect enough and was still learning to trust and walk in faith, fears that I was broken and there was nothing to be learned. But God, who is like you on this earth, He completely, totally and still utterly continues to amaze me. The lesson I’ve learnt is if it comes from God, if He provides then He surely will fund it and sustain it. In all the fears and weaknesses I had, He shines His light and graces me with His strength. I have learned to surrender every part of me, broken or not and allow Him to tell the story and use it for His glory.

The journey hasn’t been perfect, there are days I haven’t written in ages, days I haven’t been intentional in my walk of faith, days I’ve neglected to tap to my source of strength resulting in my crumbling down. Those days when I thought of giving up, God would send people to remind me why I write, to share the testimonies of how God had spoken to them through the blog and how they were praying for me. I am blown away at how God works and how He connects people divinely. Special thanks to all the angels out there who have been standing by my side and encouraging me, pouring into me when I was running low, motivating me to still write.

2018 hasn’t been all smooth, it’s been ups and downs, mountains and valleys but am glad I didn’t have to walk alone. I’ve crushed and bounced back, I’ve pushed people away, people I cared about and who meant a lot to me but we are slowly reconciling back. I’ve depended on my strength, failed miserably and run back to God to lead me on. I’ve had my fair share of doubts if things were going to work out, watching people receive miracles am praying for but I’ve learnt to be patient and rest in God’s timing. I’ve failed to count my blessings and  ended up whining about what I didn’t have but my gratitude jar is now intentionally being filled up as I remind myself of how loved I am by God.

It’s been quite the ride, am learning, am growing, am blooming and evolving. My humble prayer is that as I continue this journey of faith, may I never forget where God has brought me from, may I never fail to be ever thankful for all the answered prayers and blessings He pours so graciously, may I never stop believing in God, believing in who He is in my life and who I am to Him. May I never stop confidently speaking to the dry bones in my life and the lives of those around me and those we’ll meet up with because the power of life and death is in my tongue. Above all, may I never stop walking in faith, walking in confidence for what I hope for and assurance for what I do not see.

All in all I thank God for everything He has done, everything He is doing and everything He is going to do. To God be the glory.

Inspiration

BLESSINGS IN BROKENESS!

“God will break you to position you,
Break you to promote you,
And break you to put you in your right place,
But when He breaks you He doesn’t hurt you, He doesn’t,
When He breaks you He doesn’t destroy you, He does it with; grace”

Song; Gracefully Broken by Tasha Cobbs

I’ve been meditating on the state of being broken (Healing and Grace) and I was prompted to read 2nd Kings 7:3-20. This passage tells a beautiful story of redemption. A story about four lepers, disregarded by society as failures but in the end, turned out to be used as vessels to save a dying nation.

For those who won’t get to read the scripture here is how the story goes, in my words, lol.

Once upon a time, back then in those days lepers were forbidden from living together with society because of their condition which people feared was infectious. So they were thrown out of the city and lived separately in their own circle. At that time, the city was under attack by the Arameans. I don’t know but this doesn’t sound like a scary name to me. Like if I was indoors on a lazy Saturday morning and got a call from a strange number claiming to be the Arameans I wouldn’t be perturbed. But that’s just me. The Israelites were completely surrounded and put under siege to such a point that none of them could enter or leave the gates. With time the city’s food supplies continually dwindled as there was no replenishment available. This ultimately led to a famine that was so tragic, women resulted to feeding on their children.

The lepers who lived outside the gates were not spared either and they too shared in the predicament but what I like about these four guys is their brave resilient spirit. Since they were already dying of hunger outside the gates they thought to themselves, ‘oh well, what’s the harm in going over to the enemies’ camp to ask for food. Chances are they’ll kill us or we’ll die out here. Either way, we’ll still die. Shouldn’t we make an attempt nonetheless?’

Leper 1: Am starved (wailing out loudly)

Leper 2: I know dude, me too. I could use a nice plate of hot juicy ribs dipped in…

Leper 3: Oh please stop it that’s not helping much you know (grumpily)

Leper 1: Spare us… a man can dream. If we can’t feed our stomachs we might as well feed our dreams. Right bro? (turns and expectantly looks at Leper 4 waiting for his support)

Leper 4. Not today dudes. Am saving my energy, am too weak to indulge in silly banters.

Leper 3: Oh really, so what would you rather do, enhe? Crawl to the enemies camp and beg for a morsel (retorts snidely)

Leper 2: Why can’t we do that?

Leper 1: I beg your pardon. Slowly repeat those words.

Leper 4: Haha..y’all a bunch of cowards. I bet none of you has the guts to face fear right in the face. I bet you’d rather we die here in misery..

Leper 2: Yes, than die in pain, butchered mercilessly by the Arameans.

Leper 3: Because death by starvation is less painful than a sword..

Leper 4: Yea right, chickens, lol. See you on the other side of life.

And he began to slowly crawl over to the other side of his fear, determined to take chances in his own hands.

Leper 1: Wait a minute.. Dude is actually doing it. Look at him.

Leper 2: Damn. That’s bravery right there I tell you. I always knew he had something in him.

Leper 3: Wish I had guts like his

Leper 4: (mockingly) Hehe.. You still have a little left of yours. Why don’t you follow me before they fall off.

Leper 3: Dude I heard that. Am so coming for you. And he begins to crawl towards his direction.

Leper 1&2: Not again you two. Let’s go stop this fight. Y’all have to fight,huh, can’t wait for the enemy to kill you, you’d rather stab each other, lol.. See our lives.

********

With nothing left to give, the four lepers cautiously made their way over to the Arameans camp. I love how God turned the situation around to their favour. Truly when God says He fights for us, indeed He does. Would you believe that our almighty, the most high God caused confusion in the enemies camp. He made them think that the Israelites were coming to attack them and caused such panic.

“At dusk they got up and went to the camp of the Arameans. When they reached the edge of the camp, no one was there, for the Lord had caused the Arameans to hear the sound of chariots and horses and a great army, so that they said to one another, “Look, the king of Israel has hired the Hittite and Egyptian kings to attack us!” So they got up and fled in the dusk and abandoned their tents and their horses and donkeys. They left the camp as it was and ran for their lives.”2 Kings 7:5-7

The whole camp fled away in such a frenzy that they left everything behind, all their gold, silver and possessions, all their foods and supplies. They left everything, they didn’t carry even a dime. You can imagine the utter surprise and excitement the four lepers had once they arrived at the scene. I bet at first they thought it was a trap but because of their faith, because they stepped out of their comfort zone and what they thought was their dying place, God used them to fight for His children and give victory to a war they didn’t have to fight.

Like every starving person would have done, the four lepers ate to their fill, gathered as much food and possessions as they possibly could. But unlike most of us, they were filled with compassion and decided not to hoard the supplies to themselves yet a whole city was starving to death. So they sent word out and that’s how salvation came through the least expected channels, people who were once rejected and despised.

The End

I love how the Bible is full of stories about men and women whose labels were far from perfect but were still chosen by God to bring glory and honor to His name. I love how God calls the most ordinary people, those who are broken, those who are unqualified, and those who are undeserving to carry out His will. Because to God all that matters is that He qualifies us. Period.

It’s not about what you have done, neither is it about what you can do, it’s always about having a teachable spirit and a heart fully and truly surrendered to Christ. If this was not the case, some of us wouldn’t even stand before the world. Oh the beauty of being hidden in Christ because no one can stand up to condemn you or your past. Oh the beauty of our flaws, our weaknesses, our imperfections because God uses them to magnify Himself.

Just because we are fighting battles in some areas of our lives, it doesn’t make us less of Christians. To the world, weaknesses maybe an Achilles heel but to us who are saved, who believe in Jesus Christ, it is a platform for God to display His perfect strength through us.

As Paul clearly puts it in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me, my grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.(Mssg version)

Lessons I picked from the story:

  1. I am not my imperfections and I shouldn’t let the world label me. Only Christ has the authority to define my worth.
  2. My imperfections are perfect in the hands of Christ because in His own timing He makes all things beautiful.
  3. Christ delights in using me just as I am for His glory. He doesn’t need me to clean up first before I approach Him. Once I am surrendered to Him, He takes up from there.
  4. I need to be careful of my circle. At times we stay in our cocoons because our friends are afraid to break free into victory. Have a circle that is unashamedly and relentlessly pursuing growth, grace and greatness.
  5. Don’t treat the world as it treats you. Be kinder. Be compassionate. Be Christ Like, always. Only then can the world tell the difference.

Best lesson am carrying with me to eternity is that indeed our brokenness is a blessing in disguise and if we allow Christ to be the center of our lives, He will use it to stand us before the world as testimonies, as men and women who braved it all and came out as more than conquerors.

Praying for those warriors fighting battles we can’t see, praying for Grace and strength to overcome and above all praying for the Spirit of God to hold you, comfort you and walk you through to your testimony.

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Happy new month, yaaaaay. Wishing you an exciting count down to the end of 2018.

 

Lots of love,

Beautifully Broken.